I am not ashamed, but ...

[Beetleswings]

In the last two years, I've slept with 8 guys. The first of which I had a situationship with after being single and celibate for years - the rest were ONS. I had a sexless, abusive marriage which ended 5 years before the situationship.
How do I row myself back from this? It appears there are minority of individuals in the area I live who are aware of these ONS, at least three of which tell me I need to get some self-respect. I am 100% sure that nobody knows the count is 8 men in 2 years.
I am now thinking word has gone round and now I am thinking I should crawl under a rock... I just love sex, but have struggled to get into a relationship. I have male friends, but I don't find any of them attractive.
If I were in a relationship, sexual chemistry would be a very important factor for me to maintain one. Have I spoiled my chances of love and relationship by 'sleeping around' ?

8 in 2 years is far form many. They can fuck off. In any case you don't want to be with a man who thinks that you having a sexual life when single needs justification.
Everyone has their preferences, some will have many encounters when single, some will have fewer, some that doesn't like casual will have none. It doesn't matter which type are you if you do it liking it.

Go on bumble and find a fwb.

I had a recent fling for 4 months. Apparently I was a red flag. Yep adhd and 2 abusive relationships under my belt. One married to for 15 years then the 2nd relationship my god! Anyways I found the fwb made me see how good men are. But also how crap someone can be in bed but also how ive never really had eye gazing during sex. So its made me realise what I do want in a relationship and what I dont. I used to just message and go at like 10pm for an hour an come home. I prefer the good sex not crap sex and ons isnt gonna get me off as they dont know why I like. So def find a fwb just dont fall in love remember its just sex.

She said she’s looking for love and a relationship in her OP…

You can shag as many people as you like and whether you should feel ashamed about it or not is down to your own opinion of yourself.

However, if you're living in a small town and sleeping around, word gets around.

Someone spreading rumours they have slept with someone they haven't is something I'd expect from a 16 year old virgin trying to impress his friends. Very odd.

It's no ones business but your own don't think you have to question yourself. If you were with a partner or husband and had sex 8 times in 2 years people would think nothing of it. The fact you've had it with 8 people shouldn't mean anything. Always worth keeping an eye on your sexual health but aside from that who cares. Hopefully in the future you may find a suitable partner but your past is your business.

I thought you were much younger than 40s as you used the term 'Situationship' I thought only kids used that
You all sound very immature.
Grow up.
Not sure I believe this post.