Husband slapped friend in a bikinis bum when drunk.

[Sarahnetheands]

Yesterday we were all having a few drinks and then everyone started getting more and more drunk. All day my husband had been kind of grabbing my bum when people were not looking, I kind of thought that was a sacred thing. However at the end of the night my friend who can be quite let’s say, loose, when she is drunk, was dancing around in a bikini most the night since someone told her to take her shorts off. Anyway she purposely kept bending over “cleaning cupboards” and dancing, the ratio was 2: women to 5 men including me and my husband. She had been kind of handsy with all the men throughout the night, I saw at one point she tried to kiss my husbands cheek but he did pull away
about an hour or two later My husband walks past and slaps her on the side of her body, I’m not sure if it was her bum but it still was wildly inappropriate and I felt disgusted. He is saying he doesn’t even remember doing it and just says I apologize, but I don’t feel like that’s good enough?

any advice on how to deal with this? Am I wrong?

I’m now thinking what would have happened if I wasn’t there, and it wasn’t my friend, can he handle himself when he is drunk or will he give into temptation.

Why would she be hanging out a prolapse to flap in the wind?!

Do you think she meant her vulva?

People are usually referring to their arse cheeks aren't they?

Anyway, your husband was in the wrong by touching her, and I would keep my eye on him.

Ewww. What kind of party was this? Are you sure the men weren’t hoping for some group stuff the more drunk everyone got. Was the hist a friend of yours or your husbands?

Assuming the groping at you in public is out of character as you don’t mention him usually being like this. And the men asking her to remover her shorts, and your husband slapping her on the arse. all sounds very odd.

Yeah I think drink can make people behave a bit weird but it doesn’t turn someone into a sleaze who can’t control their hands.

Interesting you call the woman loose though and not the men who asked her to take clothes off or your husband who seemingly can’t keep his hands to himself. Why didn’t you and your husband leave when your mates asked her take her bottoms off and she obliged?

It all sounds like the start of a dodgy porn film.

Why would someone in a bikini be asking if their arse was on display? People commonly say vagina when casually talking about the outer area too

Well it's a perfect opportunity to have a conversation about boundaries and what's appropriate and not. What does he think is cheating? What do you think is cheating? As you can see from this thread you have differing opinions, so no one can tell you- what do you think?

They're incorrect. OP didn't actually say how much arse the bikini bottoms covered.

Her husband was ridiculous and she should be furious with him but her friend is also ridiculous and should not be shaking her ass in front of her married friends husbands and trying to kiss them simply because she is drunk.

They both share the blame, she doesn't get a pass because she's a woman. OP needs a better friendship group that has better boundaries and respect for each other not this drunken debauchery unless that's the scene that she enjoys then she shouldn't be complaining.

Why would you take your bottoms off and dance around in a bikini if you didnt want your arse on show. If the bikini bottoms were 100% full coverage she might as well have left her shorts on.

Did the cupboards get cleaned is the important issue. If yes, then all good. If no, then LTB.

She’s trying to kiss your husband and he slapped her bum? I think everyone here sounds awful, I never ever want to be a at a party like this ever. Both of them were in the wrong imo.

I would probably be having a stern word about this but seriously it’s just a giant drunken mess really.

That’s what I thought! Sounds like you’re all a bit loose to me! I’d let it go purely because you all sound really pissed and immature

I don't buy the whole "can't remember" and "it was only because of alcohol" type of excuses from men.

You sound like you dont like this woman, so although you call her friend, I dont think you are really. She was doing her own thing and you past judgement on her, then your DH touched her side/bum when he was pissed. By all means tell your husband to wind his neck in but the vitriol towards your friend is unreasonable and not nice. I personally think youre over reacting.

She meant is her vagina hanging out.

Surely this isn't sexy? I have never had my vagina hanging out of my bikini! 😆

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway why have I slapped my friend's bum? Same reason I hug them, kiss them on the cheek, etc. Just affection, nothing sexual.

Why was she in a bathing suit. Was it a pool party and why did they ask her to take her shorts off. It just sounds a little bizarre. Were the men all in swim trunks?

If her vagina was hanging out that would be a prolapse. Not particularly sexy, I'd imagine.

Yes, I know correcting the OP's incorrect understanding of anatomy isn't what she's asking, but but not really sure what else to say. Embarrassing situation all round.

I think she must have meant her nipple (at least that’s what I’d mean, as my nipples never seem to be able to stay in any bikini, no matter what size I get…)

Anyway, as for the “trying to get the men to imagine her” part, I didn’t actually realise some people thought like this until a friend said something similar recently. She was talking to me about a woman she dislikes and said something about her trying to get the men’s attention as she mentioned needing a bra fitting. If someone started talking in a non-sexualised way about their body part in front of me and a few men, it wouldn’t cross my mind that they were hoping the men would imagine that body part.

I don’t know if I’m naive or my friend (and in this case, OP) has a strange attitude towards women’s bodies.

(To clarify, I do NOT think OP is BU to be disgusted by any of the other behaviours from her “D”H or this “friend”, just this specific part threw me.)

It sounds like a god awful evening

"..someone told her to take her shorts off" WTF? What lovely friends you have 🙄
Where did this delightful soiree take place?
If someone else's house, why not just leave before it got too 'messy'?
If at your place, why are you throwing these drink all day events that you have to know will end this way? I mean, you did say she's 'loose' and clearly, she is 'encouraged' 😖

@CJsGoldfish this delightful soirée 😂

How trashy.

Don’t get drunk - it ruins lives

I walked in on my DH, just about to kiss my friend, and he says he can't remember. They looked quite close and were alone in the room, but I'm not sure for how long. I asked about it a week later, and he said he couldn't remember, then said I make things up in my own head. This was 15 years ago. I shouldn't have let it go, as there have been other incidents, but he always says he doesn't remember.

This ☝️ And you don’t need this woman as a friend

😂 😆