Oh Bananabeau you will be missed.

[Rainbows41]

I'm so sorry to see your post has been removed. You will be missed.
I refreshed my app daily in the hopes of seeing positive updates from you, and I'm sad you felt you needed to remove your post altogether.
I wish you well in your future and I sincerely hope you can fulfill your dreams.

You deserve to be happy.
💗

Definitely channel your inner Princess Ann... that's such good advice!

Sorry that once again your 'D'H has demonstrated his complete disregard of your feelings but inviting her to your event. It's almost like he's punishing you for starting to stand up for yourself.

Sending you strength and a big ol' unmumsnetty hug xxx

Good luck today!! I think I’ve guessed the nature of the event, so I have a little advice. It would be completely normal to fuss about food or making sure out of town guests have everything they need/are comfortable. It’s a good excuse to be away from the ‘core’ of the thing, where you might be pushed out and sidelined, but also look like you’re involved and managing things. I’ve done it myself and it works a charm

Today may be grim but it will soon be over. You sound as though, despite your internal anxiety, you will shine and be glorious.
I hope you will soon be rid of the lot of them!

Good luck, sending you support. (I remember your previous threads, you are very strong and the way you have been treated is atrocious) xx

So, any specific details of what she went through and with whom, those comments will be deleted. How does this work OP?

@bananabeau sending you lots of strength and grace today.

I have no idea what the thread was about or the story so far.
But best wishes and take care of yourself.

You’ve got this, if it’s your space she’s invading do you have a tribe of people there that you can hang with to help avoid her, she’s going to look so ridiculous kicking off if so.

practise a disdainful please don’t talk to me like that’ and walk off.

princess royal all the way.

in other news if they’re all treating you so dreadfully at home it must becoming intolerable for you, is there any advice we can help with to help you start to build a new life and break free?

@bananabeau if she tries to ruin your day, is there any security etc available to remove her? I hope you're getting closer to leaving.

Thinking of you @bananabeau. And sending you huge hugs. Wishing you all the best. You’ve got this xxx

good to hear from you banana. Stay strong, if she kicks off calmly call her out, if the rest of the family take her side call them out as well.
’ Did you mean to be so rude?’
Good luck.
You sound ground down again compared to your previous threads. Just keep remembering that you deserve better.

I am feeling a little bit ground down, think it’s just anxiety for today. I will be addressing the full party, saying a few words etc so knowing it could kick off at any point is playing on my mind. Just need to get through today and hopefully I’ll regain my strength ❤️

Wishing you strength today banana. It will be hard, but you will get to the other side and it will be over soon.

Yes get today over with and start building yourself back up again. If they are awful today then use that to spur you on to making changes.

I was on your first thread, banana. I continue to be appalled at your situation and amazed by your strength. Wishing you all the best as you continue to navigate this strange new world xxx

Hope your le physically feeling better @bananabeau, have been thinking about you lots. Am cynically wondering if she's coming to this event and been invited by twatty DH because you're currently doing better and the shitty 'family' are doing this to unsettled you? How did she even know about the event?! As above channel bad ass Princess Anne.

Wishing you the best of luck for today being manageable for you

The kids let her know about it. And if their plan was to unsettle me it’s worked. There’s also been a few “accidents” over the past week where I’ve had no access to money, no access to the house. I’m sure it’s all games to put me back where I was

I hope you get through today ok. Keep telling yourself that you are a better person than them (because you are). I find an internal countdown helps - get through the next 10 minutes, get through the next hour. But if badass Princess Anne needs to come out then so be it, it will be because of their behaviour.

I remember your other threads bananabeau and was not surprised you ended up ill on the last one. Stress can take such a toll on the body.

Wishing you luck and strength for today

@bananabeau

Good to hear from you. I've followed you from your first thread (although haven't postend frequently). I wish you strenght, determination and luck. You can do this!

May you find love, happiness and community! 💐

Cool and confident! You can do it. Focus on those who are there for you. 👏🏼Tomorrow it will be a past event.

Hoping it goes well today, Princess BanAnneaBeau!

Sounds like it should have been a day for you to enjoy and celebrate, but instead you’ve been put in a position of thinking how to survive it.

Let the knowledge that this is a turning point for you - maybe in your heart you can think of it as a valedictory event. Maybe even the last time in your life that you will see that woman?

You’ve got this.

PS - would it be possible / potentially helpful to surreptitiously audio-record the event on your phone?

I read your thread before but thanks to menopause, I can’t remember much about it other than a sense of outrage on your behalf.

I don’t know what kind of event today is, but keep in mind the Michelle Obama line: when they go low, we go high. Focus on the bigger audience, I assume there are people there who are rooting for you, love you and only want the best for you - focus on them.

If the ex does do anything that threatens your calm, or tries to rattle you, issue her with a firm ‘Not today’ and walk away.

You go high lovely, you’ve got this.

Sadly that does seem to be their shitty plan @bananabeau, absolutely not saying it won't affect you, but hopefully will give you the drive to get away from their toxic mess.

As with your previous thread @bananabeau , I find myself holding my breath reading your posts. I hate what they are doing to you and hope you can get away from them all soon and wild swim to your heart’s content - literally and metaphorically. Princess Anne all the way today. She is a badass who fended off armed kidnappers with a “Not bloody likely!” If anyone gives you shit today, let your inner voice say that. They can hijack your event but not your spirit. Sending you lots of positive energy, you can do this x