Oh Bananabeau you will be missed.

[Rainbows41]

I'm so sorry to see your post has been removed. You will be missed.
I refreshed my app daily in the hopes of seeing positive updates from you, and I'm sad you felt you needed to remove your post altogether.
I wish you well in your future and I sincerely hope you can fulfill your dreams.

You deserve to be happy.
💗

I am so sorry to hear that. Do you have to go ? Or can you make an excuse to not go ?

I definitely need to go. It’s really important and she met with my husband and asked permission to attend. It’s not something she should naturally be at. And instead of him telling her it’s not appropriate he invited her along. So all the dancing round her feelings was fine, but she now is able to be in my company… I’m just not buying it.

Oh that is really awful. How dare he tell her she can attend

I mean if I didn’t want her there that would make me as bad as her right? I just know it’s going to be an emotional day and I need to know how to protect myself if she were to unleash on me (highly likely)

No you not wanting her there is a normal reaction to how they have all behaved. You said it's something she should not naturally be at, so yet again H and his X are putting her ahead of you. Stay strong, you are not the odd one here.

Sending you strength and love @bananabeau x

Wishing you strength for today @bananabeau i hope you are able to get the life you deserve soon

Cheering you on and sending love and strength

You're definitely not as bad as her and absolutely have the right not to have to spend time with someone like that.

How do you want to respond to her if she starts on you? You can try not to react like pp said which may minimise the situation. Say something like I'm sorry you feel that way.

You've every right to explode at the whole lot of them but it may make things more difficult for you.

I suppose the healthy thing to do would be to assert your boundaries and tell her that you're not going to put up with her abusing you and walk away if necessary. This might be difficult when you don't have the support of the people around you and might be blamed

Have you had any more thoughts about leaving the relationship?

@bananabeau channel your inner Princess Anne. Stay strong, head high & take no shit.
Best of luck.

@bananabeau I hope it goes ok. Thinking of you x

Yeah the I’m sorry you feel that way response is how I’ll go. If I react I definitely will get the blame and zero support. Thank you for your help.

Always loved Ann. She is a lowkey classy badass. I wouldn’t step on her toes, that’s for sure

Glad to see your updates @bananabeau but sorry that things appear to be spiralling.

I hope you’re able to extricate yourself soon as it’s very clear that you are constantly being sidelined.

Be prepared for her to be on her worst behaviour tomorrow and steel yourself not to give her the satisfaction of riling you - hopefully it won’t be as bad as you imagine!!

Outrageous that she gets to invade your space after everything that went before!

Is there anyone you know will be there today who can run interference for you? Someone who might distract the most ridiculous behaviour if/when the ex kicks off? You are strong enough to get through this, mentally stick your hands over your ears and sing "La la la" with a MN choir behind you.

I remember your thread bananabeau, I’m glad you’re standing up for yourself and that you’re not swayed by any small concessions that may be made. One small move a day will get you to your eventual outcome.

I remember your last thread @bananabeau and I think last checked it around the time you became unwell. I hope you are better now and whatever happens tomorrow goes well for you. Wishing you all the best.

Thanks for all your replies. I hope it goes ok too. I can’t believe after everything she’s coming into my space with nobody regarding my feelings on the matter. I will be front and centre at this event she won’t be able to avoid seeing/judging me. It’s really making me feel ill. Years of this woman denying my existence to this. It’s too much

Lots of deep breaths with a longer out breath helps regulate your body. Wish I could help more. Just know how many are rooting for you, no matter what happens.

I was going to suggest a well-timed migraine but from your last post this is your event and there's no getting out of it.
She's done this deliberately and you are right to be very cautious about her. As others said, take the high road, have friends stop her from approaching you personally if possible, and have venue staff ready to evict her if she starts anything.
Your husband and whoever else has let her attend are weak-willed and don't deserve you. I hope you're able to get out of this relationship soon. You deserve so much better. Thinking of you and hoping all goes well.

I remember you too, please remember we’re all rooting for you.
ExW will hope to get a reaction from you so don’t give her the satisfaction.
Hold your head high and get through the few hours.
It all sounds very unfair and upsetting but keep your cool - you’re better than all of them put together.
You can do this!

Hi @bananabeau , I’m glad you’re on the mend, what you had is nasty and can take a good while to recover from so please be gentle with yourself.

You sound so alone at the moment, and there isn’t a much sadder feeling than being alone in a crowd, particularly when you have something stressful to face. I am so furious on your behalf that once again you will be bottom of the pile.

I have no calm responses to Ex, frankly the best I would manage is a cold “I’m not putting up with your shit today, back off”. Let her make a scene, she’s probably going to anyway but at least she might get the message that you won’t tolerate her nonsense even if everyone else does.

Best of luck. Will be thinking of you x

I remember you. You are in my thoughts. I’m sorry you have to endure this with no support. Know that there are lots of people sending you love and encouragement today. You have coped so well when you thought you were by yourself. You are not alone any more.

Managed a few hours sleep there. Yeah it blows my mind that she wants to be there. Apparently it for the girls sakes. It’s time they seen us all in the same room getting on. Don’t believe it for a second.

I’ve changed my outfit for today 3 times, had my nails done, my hair done. I’m going to stand proud and fake confidence. I won’t let anyone ruin this day.

I need to get out of here though. I have had years of hell, and thanks to you all a month of realisation. I will forever be indebted to you all xx

Sending you strength.