Daughter 14 is dating an American who's 17

[Lunarises]

Just like the title says. Found out tonight my daughters over sea bf is 17 yes he lives in America. They speak daily on phone allday all night he literally says I love you a million times a day. And now becoming clingy she made a Spotify playlist with her friend and he said he didn't feel comfortable because it's a dude she did it with and he's been cheated on before. My question is do I let this relationship fizzle out or do I end this. I'm in between a rock and a hard place. Take all her gadgets so she can't speak to him and her have a melt down or do I let this fizzle out I no I will have people telling me I am a terrible parent no need already feel like one. I just need advice

That’s rich - calling ME an idiot, when you incorrectly use ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’ 😂

Ahh so your also a stuck up grammar police makes sense how is it on your high horse? Be careful you don't fall love

Swearing at a mum who's clearly trying her best doesn’t make you a ‘great parent.’ It makes you the loudest one in the room, neither is it barking orders and flexing online, OP’s asking for support, not a self congratulatory tantrum.

Not 24/7 though and parental controls can be set to ensure school work isn't an excuse for playtime.

I really don't understand why people online feel the need to be so awful.
I thought this site was designed to offer advice, thoughts, recommendations, sympathies not verbal, supercilious beatings at every opportunity! 🙄

This ☝🏻 x 100. I also work with many teenagers and it’s frightening how many parents believe because they told their child not to do something and TO THEIR KNOWLEDGE their child isn’t doing it they’ve cured the problem of teenagers being biologically primed to take risks and to be more influenced by their peers than parents. Meanwhile their children are often still taking risks but now they’re doing it without adult guidance and anyone having some level of oversight of what they’re really getting up to, meaning those children are much more vulnerable.

Tell her if she sends photos it’s considered producing child pornography- which it is. Not just that you’d be disappointed. That should scare her out of doing it!

Can I just say that I’m sorry you’ve had sooo much toxic judgment from such obviously perfect parents on this post!!! 😡
And I thought MumsNet was about supporting and helping each other! It sounds like you’ve gained some good advice from a few posters though… parenting is a bloody minefield isn’t it?!

Once again, I didn't mean it like that - I was rather inefficiently trying to be supportive to the OP against the judgey people.

I've asked for my post to be removed as I appreciate it was poorly phrased and came across as an attack on the OP, which isn't what I'm like at all.

I don’t judge OP, I did similar things to her daughter at that age and it’s nice the daughter has told OP. The CP thing is important to mention though as kids could have no idea they’re producing it.

Thank you 😊 I no in my heart I'm not a bad parent. Am I perfect not by a long shot but I'm proud of who my daughter is becoming and I'm also proud that she can come to me with anything in the world and ill not judge her but Try and guide her through it. Parenting definitely doesn't come with a handbook lol so all I'm doing is trying my best to keep her safe set reasonable boundaries and have a good relationship with her ❤️

You do sound like a good parent, it’s sweet she’s been open about it. I’d have never told my mum I was talking to older guys onlin at that age (which I did)

I also did the same thing and I could never go to my mum about that so I allways said I'd never be like that and my kids can allways come to me with anything. So I make sure to implement that they should allways come to me with any problem