Never done this before, but feel I need to try and get some perspective outside of my own head.
I've been with my partner for a year and he's asked me to move in with him. I should be so excited, but I'm a little hesitant. He's a lovely and charming man with a big heart and I really love so much about him. But there is another side to him that worries me...
I've noticed that he drinks quite a lot and I'm not sure if I should be concerned or not about moving forward into a potentially permanent long-term situation. He only really drinks 3 nights per week, but he seems to drink A LOT. I enjoy a drink at the weekend too, but I keep it to a limit and go to bed early. He will often stay up later than me comes to bed at 2 or 3am after drinking more on his own. I've worked out that he's having anywhere between 60 and 100 units every week. Because he doesn't drink every night and can still go to work and function normally, I'm wondering if it's me overreacting or just thinking that he's a bigger guy so can hold it. Although, I know deep down that this isn't good, and I've not experienced this level of drinking before with any partner/family member. I have tried to talk to him about cutting down and he gets quite defensive and has turned it around on me on the odd occasion (although I have a sneaking suspicion that this has been going on for a lot longer than I have known him). It came to a head when I threatened to leave, and he promised to cut down. He did for a couple of weeks, but it's back up to around 60 units again.
He has young children as well, and I worry about it when they're there. Aside from also worrying about the long-term health implications of this, he can tend to be tired, irritable and snappy over little things. I imagine it's due to the booze, even though he never really seems that drunk. I guess I've been worried to walk away in case this is 'normal' and i'm the one overreacting (as he has said in the past). I am in my early 30s and would like a partner, home and a child of my own one day, so I guess I'm terrified of leaving at this stage and I feel really lost and confused.
Aside from these issues, I do really enjoy his company when it's good. Of course, there are loads of good moments too or I wouldn't be here. I just keep wondering, are the good moments worth these worries?
I guess I just want to know, what would you do in my shoes? Stay, put up with the drinking and bad temper and hope it gets better, or leave, find my independence again and try looking for something new?