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Original poster

Suspicious of neighbours behaviour towards my DH

350 replies

Stace88 · 22/06/2025 16:27

The couple who lived next door to us when we moved in broke up a few months ago and the man has since moved out.

The woman who lives there rarely spoke with us before but since breaking up is always chatting to my DH when she sees him. I can be stood next to him and she doesn’t look at me and aims any conversation towards him. She also refers to him by his name but doesn’t ever say mine.

That alone isn’t what my post is for. In the last couple of weeks she has made comments to DH - she saw him get back from the gym and asked him if he’d be her personal trainer (note - DH isn’t in bad shape but is a once a week gym goer and certainly isn’t a PT!). DH politely replied and she said she hasn’t had any workouts since becoming single and added ‘if you know what I mean’ with a laugh - fairly obvious what she was insinuating.

Yesterday, I was out all afternoon for a friends’ baby shower so my car wasn’t on the drive. DH told me he was pottering in the garden when our neighbour called his name over the fence and asked if he could help her with moving something in her garden which was too heavy for her, DH said yes and she told him to go down the side gate.

When DH went round she was wearing a bikini and in his words had clearly not been doing any gardening. He moved a pot at her request and then she asked where I (“your missus”) was. DH said I was out for the afternoon and she then asked if he fancied having a drink with her in her garden. DH politely made his excuses and came home.

I trust DH completely but feel like our neighbour is starting to stray into CF territory and I worry what her intentions are. DH thinks I’m being silly. Do you see where I’m coming from?

OP posts:
MuckFusk · 23/06/2025 22:12

Kubricklayer · 23/06/2025 14:47

Neighbour: He tickled my p*ssy with a feather!
OP: What!!!?
Neighbour: I said we're having particularly nice weather!

Edited

😄
"I felt up his cock."

"What the hell? Come again?"

"I said I fell on some rocks."

Original poster
Stace88 · 23/06/2025 22:34

We’ve had it out tonight as I told DH in no uncertain terms he was acting strange and that if he didn’t own up to what was going on then I’d go round to our neighbours myself.

He has confessed to having a drink with her but made his excuses ‘really quickly’ as she started making comments about her sex life with her ex, how he couldn’t keep up with her appetite and that she would have it daily if she could. She asked DH inappropriate questions about our relationship and whether he is ‘fulfilled’ at which point he left as he realised he shouldn’t have been sat there with her. He also said he didn’t know where to look.

He has just about talked me out of going round there and giving the cheeky cow a piece of my mind. I am furious with DH for misleading me, he has been acting strange because he feared her blabbing to me next time she saw me!

OP posts:
anytipswelcome · 23/06/2025 22:41

Wow, I would be furious. Is he really that spineless that he couldn’t say ‘sorry, can’t stop I’ve got stuff to get on with’ instead of having a drink with another woman in a bikini? Of course he isn’t. He was flattered so said yes.

He, in that moment, prioritised his ego and / or hers (by not rejecting her offer) over your feelings and your relationship. And has set a precedent of him and her having secrets, rather than her just being a weird neighbour you both roll your eyes about as a team.

I would be really disappointed. Don’t let him convince you that you’re overreacting if you feel the same way.

Lillygolightly · 23/06/2025 22:52

Well frankly I would still be round there to see what she had to say for herself, it would be very telling if your DH is shitting himself at the prospect of you having words with her. Given the situation and how he’s omitted the truth and his dodgy behaviour I am afraid that I couldn’t take him at his world….he threw that out the window when he lied to you!

Original poster
Stace88 · 23/06/2025 22:53

He has apologised profusely and told me that he thinks she is not the full ticket and will likely twist things so I shouldn’t believe a word she says.

OP posts:
purplepie1 · 23/06/2025 23:02

Stace88 · 23/06/2025 22:53

He has apologised profusely and told me that he thinks she is not the full ticket and will likely twist things so I shouldn’t believe a word she says.

hmmm could be telling the truth but that remark I have heard said about many women.

DancingFerret · 23/06/2025 23:05

Stace88 · 23/06/2025 22:53

He has apologised profusely and told me that he thinks she is not the full ticket and will likely twist things so I shouldn’t believe a word she says.

Of all your posts, OP, that's this is the one which is the most worrying She's your next door neighbour, it's a given you'll bump into her at some point, so why is he saying you shouldn't believe a word she says? And why is he saying she's not the full ticket? Honestly, it sounds like a cover-up attempt to put you off the scent. Your gut feeling is your friend here.

*Edited for typo.

2025ismybestyear · 23/06/2025 23:06

Stace88 · 23/06/2025 22:53

He has apologised profusely and told me that he thinks she is not the full ticket and will likely twist things so I shouldn’t believe a word she says.

That's convenient and makes him sound 100% more guilty!

sideeyes · 23/06/2025 23:29

Stace88 · 23/06/2025 22:53

He has apologised profusely and told me that he thinks she is not the full ticket and will likely twist things so I shouldn’t believe a word she says.

Something else happened

Lillygolightly · 23/06/2025 23:36

Stace88 · 23/06/2025 22:53

He has apologised profusely and told me that he thinks she is not the full ticket and will likely twist things so I shouldn’t believe a word she says.

Well he would say that wouldn’t he, rather convenient of him to suggest she’s not a full shilling and that you shouldn’t believe a word. Coming from him at the moment it’s the kettle calling the pot 🙄

Changes100 · 23/06/2025 23:38

Stace88 · 23/06/2025 22:53

He has apologised profusely and told me that he thinks she is not the full ticket and will likely twist things so I shouldn’t believe a word she says.

Well thats the age old method of portraying her as unhinged so that whatever she tells you you won't believe it.
It makes it sound as though more happened than what he has admitted and he is worried she will tell you what really happened.

CLola24 · 23/06/2025 23:41

Blokes pretend to be naive and that their other halves are over reacting because they like the attention. No point in asking him how he'd feel if the tables were turned as again, that'll be you and your wicked mind at it again. Blergh. Sorry they're being a pair of tits.

Lillygolightly · 23/06/2025 23:42

Oh and I forgot to mention that I given your last post absolutely I am now absolutely certain that more has happened here….he is just not telling you the truth, for which he now has form at this point. Now he’s painted her as a crackpot so that should she ever say anything to you, he’s got that excuse to fall back on.

You watch….he’ll soon be calling her mental, it won’t take long!

MsDogLady · 23/06/2025 23:42

Dh politely made his excuses and came home. I trust DH completely ….

Not so trustworthy, then. He has hugely let you down by lying and protecting their secret. You’d still be in the dark if you hadn’t pushed him. I believe he hasn’t come completely clean and you’d be foolish to believe him. More happened than he is admitting.

He’s been duping you, @Stace88. He knew very well what OW’s agenda was and has been buzzed by the thrill of her flirting. He is attracted to her, and he stayed for the drink because he was lapping up her attention and the sight of her in a bikini.

How predictable that he is now manipulating you to swerve having a talk with OW by dissing her reliability. He is determined to shut down your approaching her. Why is that?? Knowledge is strength, so I would absolutely go over to hear what she has to say. I wouldn’t be surprised to find that H has twisted or minimized the true story. I’d be wondering how long he was actually there, what actually happened, and what all he divulged to her about your relationship. Besides speaking to her, I’d be checking his phone.

@Stace88, your H is lying about another woman and I would be getting to the bottom of it.

Burntlemon · 24/06/2025 00:01

Oh she's "crazy" is she?
He's some piece of work.
He has absolutely let you down.
It's exactly to what extent is the question.

AngelicKaty · 24/06/2025 00:05

MsDogLady · 23/06/2025 23:42

Dh politely made his excuses and came home. I trust DH completely ….

Not so trustworthy, then. He has hugely let you down by lying and protecting their secret. You’d still be in the dark if you hadn’t pushed him. I believe he hasn’t come completely clean and you’d be foolish to believe him. More happened than he is admitting.

He’s been duping you, @Stace88. He knew very well what OW’s agenda was and has been buzzed by the thrill of her flirting. He is attracted to her, and he stayed for the drink because he was lapping up her attention and the sight of her in a bikini.

How predictable that he is now manipulating you to swerve having a talk with OW by dissing her reliability. He is determined to shut down your approaching her. Why is that?? Knowledge is strength, so I would absolutely go over to hear what she has to say. I wouldn’t be surprised to find that H has twisted or minimized the true story. I’d be wondering how long he was actually there, what actually happened, and what all he divulged to her about your relationship. Besides speaking to her, I’d be checking his phone.

@Stace88, your H is lying about another woman and I would be getting to the bottom of it.

Edited

I agree with all that you say apart from suggesting OP speak to the neighbour - this would give her huge satisfaction to know that she'd caused trouble in OP's marriage. I would, however, speak to DH again and threaten him that I would go and speak to NDN if he doesn't tell the entire truth about what really went on.
@Stace88 In your shoes OP, I'd be absolutely livid that he'd lied to me (and as others have posted, I think he still is because he's so desperate for you not to speak to her or believe what she says if you do).

MuckFusk · 24/06/2025 00:06

Burntlemon · 24/06/2025 00:01

Oh she's "crazy" is she?
He's some piece of work.
He has absolutely let you down.
It's exactly to what extent is the question.

The bitch be crazy defence. A classic tactic of shady men.

B1anche · 24/06/2025 05:16

Stace88 · 23/06/2025 22:53

He has apologised profusely and told me that he thinks she is not the full ticket and will likely twist things so I shouldn’t believe a word she says.

she is not the full ticket and will likely twist things so I shouldn’t believe a word she says.

That old chestnut. I feel so angry on your behalf OP.

tripleginandtonic · 24/06/2025 05:43

Lillygolightly · 22/06/2025 17:29

I would pop round, politely ask her how she’s doing and then I would say actually there was a reason I popped round and it’s because whilst DH wouldn’t dream of saying this to your face, especially given that you must be feeling very vulnerable at the moment etc etc, but your advances are really starting to make him feel very uncomfortable and being the good guy that he is he didn’t want you getting the wrong idea, so he has asked me to pop round and have a chat. Then wish her well with a meaningful look and leave.

I'd only do that if it's the truth though, and her dh does want her to do it.

Codlingmoths · 24/06/2025 05:53

Stace88 · 23/06/2025 22:53

He has apologised profusely and told me that he thinks she is not the full ticket and will likely twist things so I shouldn’t believe a word she says.

Oh gosh I wonder if there is anyone close to you who has twisted things and lied so you can’t believe a word they say.

Guavafish1 · 24/06/2025 06:02

Something is going on with her and your husband

ClaredeBear · 24/06/2025 06:06

When you say “having a drink”, did he arrange to go out with her, did he happen to see her in the local pub, did he accept an invitation to her house - and where were you? Was this recent or months ago?

Guavafish1 · 24/06/2025 06:08

Unfortunately the only way is speaking to her… I suspect something sexual happened… they both knew what they were doing… both flirting and he would have saw her wearing a bikini

he knew sex was on offer

ClaredeBear · 24/06/2025 06:08

ClaredeBear · 24/06/2025 06:06

When you say “having a drink”, did he arrange to go out with her, did he happen to see her in the local pub, did he accept an invitation to her house - and where were you? Was this recent or months ago?

I reread the OP 👍🏻

SamphiretheTervosaur · 24/06/2025 06:25

Stace88 · 23/06/2025 22:53

He has apologised profusely and told me that he thinks she is not the full ticket and will likely twist things so I shouldn’t believe a word she says.

He's really painted you into a corner there, hasn't he?