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Original poster

Dating man who rents in 50s

129 replies

Starlightstarbeight · 14/06/2025 18:07

So I’ve met a guy who seems nice. We’re both in our 50s. Been out a few times but.. unlike all men I’ve dated before (and me) doesn’t own his own property. He did own a house years ago but left it to his wife when he divorced years and has been renting since.
He has a reasonably well paid job. I’m quite financially secure and I’m not looking for someone to “support “ me financially but not sure if this is worth pursuing as our finances are so different…

OP posts:
NotaCoolMum · 14/06/2025 18:08

Wow.

Bibi12 · 14/06/2025 18:09

Don't date him. He deserves better.

Steelworks · 14/06/2025 18:09

In this case, it does seem there’s a legitimate reason for him to be renting.

CharlotteSometimes1 · 14/06/2025 18:09

Nope, send this one back.

teksquad · 14/06/2025 18:11

poor guy.

Poopeepoopee · 14/06/2025 18:13

Date yes
Marry no

He's for fun isn't he? Some men make good boyfriends and some good husbands.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 14/06/2025 18:14

Is he kind, considerate, reliable, generous, thoughtful, funny, smart? That is more important than his housing situation.

Belladog1 · 14/06/2025 18:15

Really?

I started renting for the first time when I separated from my husband in March this year. I can't believe it would put men off dating me!!!

Thatsthebottomline · 14/06/2025 18:15

Being in 50s and renting indicates he hasn't got pots and pots of cash. It's a big red flag.

Does he have tattoos everywhere or a violent temper ? Does he own a big motorbike or is he permanently wearing rugby shirts ?

Any of those according to MN indicate he's worth a try.

BlueSkiesInJuly · 14/06/2025 18:17

I don't think is uncommon with divorced men IMHO. Sort of in limbo waiting to see what happens.

BreakingBroken · 14/06/2025 18:22

So what if half the equity of his home is sitting in a savings account or if after loosing half his pension he’s dumping all extra funds into his pension? There’s more to being financially sound than owning a house.

Eric1964 · 14/06/2025 18:23

I've had a drink, so maybe I shouldn't respond to this. When I split up with the mother of my children, a long time ago now, I walked away with £4000 from the house we owned together, probably a lot less than I 'should' have got, but the security of my children was far more important than me getting on the property ladder. Now, I had some good luck and I was a homeowner shortly after that but, if things had gone differently, I could be a renter now, in my late 50s. But if property ownership is how you judge a guy, do him a favour and kick him into touch.

Original poster
Starlightstarbeight · 14/06/2025 18:28

@BlueSkiesInJuly if he’d only recently divorced, I’d agree. But it was over 10 years ago!

OP posts:
Icanflyhigh · 14/06/2025 18:29

Oh gosh no.

He deserves waaaay better.

Leave him pronto.

Belladog1 · 14/06/2025 18:31

Starlightstarbeight · 14/06/2025 18:28

@BlueSkiesInJuly if he’d only recently divorced, I’d agree. But it was over 10 years ago!

Maybe he has a healthy bank account?

I'm 51 and a new renter (having my first inspection on monday) and I didn't want to be saddled with a mortgage at my age. I'm happy to be more nomad ..... plus i have a few hundred grand invested!

TheFlakyAquaSloth · 14/06/2025 18:34

WTF. Same. He gave his ex wife the house. End of. The sort of man to marry I suggest…..

Daisy12Maisie · 14/06/2025 18:35

I don’t think you should marry someone who is renting and you have a house when you are that sort of age. But I think a relationship is fine. If he has a well paying job and a pension then it doesn’t sound like you would be that badly financially mismatched.

reversegear · 14/06/2025 18:36

Ha ha jeeze, my and DH rented until we were mid 40s and I’d totally forgot people like you exist.

Marble10 · 14/06/2025 18:36

He may have the equivalent of your house in savings? In his pension?
Not everyone is bothered by owning a house

Greenartywitch · 14/06/2025 18:38

Poor guy...

frozendaisy · 14/06/2025 18:38

Or maybe he is biding his time to retire somewhere pretty and doesn’t want to get stuck with bricks somewhere he can’t sell

If home ownership is vital to you OP then walk away he’s clearly not for you

CarpetKing · 14/06/2025 18:40

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with considering whether you have compatible life goals. If he’s a bit seat-of -the-pants financially and you’re someone who wants security (or vice versa) it’s a factor. But home ownership is not in itself a determiner.

Okthenguys · 14/06/2025 18:40

Going slightly against the grain here - if you’re worried about a future or potential cocklodger situation then definitely end things now. It’s a legitimate concern to look at how compatible you are financially, and I think it’s smart. The question then is, as PP have said - why is he renting and are you comfortable with the reasons? Only you can answer that but don’t feel bad for considering financial compatibility or situation when you’re dating.

Charlottejbt · 14/06/2025 18:41

I probably wouldn't - too many wannabe cocklodgers out there. He might be a great bloke, but better safe than sorry.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 14/06/2025 18:42

Okthenguys · 14/06/2025 18:40

Going slightly against the grain here - if you’re worried about a future or potential cocklodger situation then definitely end things now. It’s a legitimate concern to look at how compatible you are financially, and I think it’s smart. The question then is, as PP have said - why is he renting and are you comfortable with the reasons? Only you can answer that but don’t feel bad for considering financial compatibility or situation when you’re dating.

This ^