Dating man who rents in 50s

[Starlightstarbeight]

So I’ve met a guy who seems nice. We’re both in our 50s. Been out a few times but.. unlike all men I’ve dated before (and me) doesn’t own his own property. He did own a house years ago but left it to his wife when he divorced years and has been renting since.
He has a reasonably well paid job. I’m quite financially secure and I’m not looking for someone to “support “ me financially but not sure if this is worth pursuing as our finances are so different…

If I was him I'd run a mile. There's more to attraction than money you know!! You sound very materialistic

Why do you think your finances are so different? He chooses to spend money on rent, and presumably whatever else he wants to.

He's not begging to move into your house or asking you to give him money? You say he's a reasonably paid job, so why does it bother you.

I'm somewhat envious of my friends in social housing in many ways and if I had a decent council flat no way would I give it up.

Though I can tell by your post there's no way you'd even look at a bloke in social housing?

Owning property doesn't make you superior or more financially secure necessarily. Especially as most have a mortgage.

😁

🤣🤣🤣🫣🫣

Wow! Not everyone can afford a house. I’m 56 and never owned a house. My parents have never owned their own house. My siblings don’t own their own house! We rent from the council! Does that make us scum!

I think if you liked him enough then you wouldn't be asking this question so I'd leave him be.

How shallow. I own my property so I understand what you mean, but more important than his living conditions is his personality, outlook on life and his values surely?

No

What's wrong with renting?

I agree with previous posters though that if his home and financial status differs from your expectations and requirements then you're not a good match so no point pursuing it further or getting in any deeper.

Can't say it would bother me in the slightest unless I thought he saw me and my home as potential free board and lodgings somewhere down the line.

We rent high end OP but are decent earners - problem is we were only that way beyond the point it was easy to get a mortgage and we value living somewhere nice that we like- both house and area. It’s likely we will inherit and may buy at that point - not everyone who rents is a feckless waster - I suggest you change your mindset or it’s perfectly possible you may end up with someone who owns their house but is a feckless tosspot - I go far more by ‘what’s their work ethic like, are they interesting, kind’ by all means consider if they are spendthrifts or have different values to yours, but certainly don’t rule someone out because they rent - unless it’s just a room and they are in their 50s plus

A mate of mine divorced in her early 40s. (Australia). She got the lion’s share of the house as she had the late primary/early secondary kids, most. She had to sell, and got a smaller house outright in the proceeds.

Her solicitor said ‘this is the richest you’ll be, and the poorest he’ll be’.

Sadly, 10 years hence, she’s back in social housing, he bought, comfortably.

His limbo didn’t last long.

What happened for her to lose her home.,

It doesn’t necessarily mean he has no money. Maybe he just didn’t want to take on a mortgage later in life, maybe he likes the flexibility of being able to move, likes having his cash in the bank etc I’m surprised at some of the responses on here.

Nailed it.

Is this the most middle class post ever?

You are aware many people rent their entire lives and never own property.

I don’t understand why choosing to rent is indicative at all of his financial situation.

You have an asset in your home which you own. He may well have other assets in investment portfolios, savings accounts etc

People choose to rent for all sorts of reasons that don’t mean they’re financially irresponsible or insecure.

Ten years divorced and still renting in his 50s. I wouldn't touch him with a bargepole.
But in my family and friends circles I know absolutely no one who rents after about 30, all have bought or are expecting to buy by then. So to me it would indicate that he probably isn't my type of person.

But for other people it simply wouldn't matter at all as can be seen by the comments on here.

Only you can say if it matters to you OP.

Mumsnet is a complete mystery to me sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with renting. He is the wrong man for you if you have a problem with someone who rents though.

My mums never owned her own house and she's 70. When we were kids she got social housing and only really started making proper money in her 50s. By that point she didn't want to be saddled with a mortgage, however she has a very good pension and a lot of savings. Not owning a home could happen to any of us with the wrong circumstances, especially now.

I'm with you @Starlightstarbeight it would concern me that he wasn't financially stable if it has been that long since his divorce. What's the point of dating someone if there is no chance of committing to them? And with 2 kids to support there is no way I'd want to commit to shared finances with someone who was not financially stable.

@Aaron95 I wouldn’t necessarily say middle class post - in my midlands home town it’s very working class but most do own because houses are cheap as chips( relative to southern part of the country) and those same working class do actually turn into almighty snobs about those who rent- because they haven’t grown up in areas or circles where few are buying till early 30sat earliest unless they inherit or are gifted very large sums

God, you sound like an absolute drip

If you want to date someone who owns their own house and is more financially secure, that’s fine, just end things with him. You don’t owe him dates or a relationship and shouldn’t settle.

You’re not looking for him to “support you” so what’s the issue? You can date or hone in a LTR aand not live together or share finances. Many people who are marked don’t share finances and many married people also don’t contribute, so what’s the difference?

Not really, I have a good friend who is a multi-millionaire but rents, not all renters are broke.