Dating man who rents in 50s

[Starlightstarbeight]

So I’ve met a guy who seems nice. We’re both in our 50s. Been out a few times but.. unlike all men I’ve dated before (and me) doesn’t own his own property. He did own a house years ago but left it to his wife when he divorced years and has been renting since.
He has a reasonably well paid job. I’m quite financially secure and I’m not looking for someone to “support “ me financially but not sure if this is worth pursuing as our finances are so different…

If you want to live together or marry then i wouldn't be with a renter as a home owner but for casual fun, sure.

You come across a little bit judgy, OP. I’m a mortgage advisor and successful property investor, yet I choose to rent. Owning your own home isn’t the pinnacle of financial success, and you do not know the details of his finances.

Of course, if it transpires that he is financially careless or your values just don’t align, throw him back. Don’t be so hasty, good luck!

You rent in England? And not social housing?

I've dated men who are not my equal before and every one of them has ended up cock lodging in my house and expecting me to look after them. I'm not doing it again I can tell you.
I only want to date my equal. I've worked hard for what I've got. I don't need someone who hasn't got their act together squandering it.
I don't care what anyone thinks. That's how it is.

I dated a guy briefly, made the mistake of mentioning that i was in the middle of selling my home and his eyes lit up. He lovebombed me and was talking about babies... he was a renter. There are stories of men targeting single mums because they have a home already. I don't advise dating a man in a lower financial or home situation, they either want to exploit you or feel threatened by it. Date your level or better.

I can’t believe that anyone would consider ending a relationship because of someone’s housing situation! I feel really sorry for the poor man and I hope the next person he meets isn’t as judgmental as you.

I wouldn't end it because i wouldn't even start a relationship again like this..cocklodgers are a real problem.

Maybe you have a different understanding of what drip means to me? I know the word as meaning someone wishy washy, who doesn't express any opinions, bland. I've expressed my strong opinion in my post, so what do you mean? Obviously I realise you're trying to insult me. ( FYI it doesn't work because what a random stranger says to me on the internet is irrelevant).

One of my tenants was a single bloke, on 200k pa. Thought he'd only stay a year or two. Moved maybe after 10 years, was comfortable, happy, repairs done by us, nice city centre flat.

My income is a pittence compared...

People rent for all sorts of reasons.

Nah it makes you the envy of mumsnet 😂

Are you actually serious ! ? Poor guy.

The wealthiest person I know rents his residence….he is worth £350 million….I absolutely would not judge a man based on the fact he rents his main residence.

My sons lodger earns over 100k a year maybe 150 now

He’s renting a room paying 700 a month
he renting as a lodger as he is buying a house outright that’s being built so doesn’t want to spend money on a flat / house which is a waste when he is hardly ever there as he’s working or working abroad but needs a nice decent secure place as a base
why pay 2k a month inc bills when your only there 2 nights a week

Some people have very good reason to rent

See how it goes but do not marry or consider moving him in to your home.

In the realm of wealthy people in my experience, its actually not unusual. Hedge Fund and Private Equity Partners I know rent their main residence. All of the analysts and associates rent. I dont think renting always correlates to poor financial stability/wealth, at least in my experience.

Nowt wrong with renting. The problems arise if you marry him, then get divorced: you lose half your house. Not a risk worth taking!

Baffled by most of these posts.

Dating is about compatibility.

You want to find someone who has a similar outlook to you. Read any of the zillion threads on Relationships to find cocklodger after cocklodger.

Especially as you're nearing retirement, you want someone who is roughly your equivalent so there's no imbalance in the relationship. If both halves of a couple want to rent, or buy big motorbikes, or play competitive dodgeball every weekend, that's great. But if there's a huge difference in values and finances then it's not.

OP is absolutely right to be cautious. I've thrown men back for the same and tbh much less.

Not sure why you said that. How many posts about "cocklodgers" have you seen on MN? If I had a tenner for each one I've seen I could pay the mortgage off.

I’m not single in my 50s, but if I was, I’d want someone who was financially (as well as intellectually and emotionally) in a similar place as me. It’s all well and good to leave your wife the marital home, but surely he should have other assets and a decent income and I’d hope his credit was good that allowed him to buy another home in some capacity.

It wouldn’t necessarily be a deal breaker, depending on his financial security and long term plans. Hasn’t bought another property is different than can’t buy another property.

For example, MIL moved a man into her house after he lost his home when he went to prison (yep, don’t even get me started on this whole hot mess). He has no assets. Her home is protected. She made sure of that and her will is ironclad. He’s an abusive jerk, but he’s old now and she can’t bring herself to get rid of him so is wasting her life basically waiting for him to die. That’s not what you want. It’s okay to have minimum standards.

Pete Townsend from the WHO rents his main house - it’s an amazing place that wasn’t on the market for sale - many comfortably off people do rent for all kinds of reasons and in a stagnant or falling market if you don’t have kids at home who moving a fair bit might affect then it can have advantages. Especially if you can afford to rent nice places.

Op's boyfriend isn't going to be some secret millionaire be for fucking real, folks!! 😂😂😂 i think she would know if he was loaded.

DH sold his house to move in with me in London, renting. He didn't have a lot of equity.

Six years later we bought our fabulous forever home, an hour outside London.

We could have rented forever because I wanted him, not his property.

I was thinking th sort ofwn who is kind to his exw is surely a green flag.

Maybe he doesn't want a big debt of a mortgage...he might have a big pension and savings.
I think you need to get over yourself.
He deserves someone less snobby.

A male friend of mine divorced recently and is having to rent, he doesn't want to put down roots as the kids are nearly university age ready, he may settle down south near his parents. Does this mean he's barred from finding a happy future with a new partner based on the fact he rents. How pathetic and judgemental.