Partner asks me to cover up when I’m on my balcony

[Slettora]

my top floor flat has a balcony that is 2 floors up a big Victorian converted building (so quite high up). However it does overlook a fairly busy street. I got up this morning in my crop top and briefs because it’s hot and his son had already gone to school. He said if I’m going on the balcony can I put some shorts on. Weird because I’m essentially more covered up than someone would be in a bikini and it’s my balcony (?!). Anyway, he has also got upset if I’ve posted any stories on Instagram of me sunbathing with my cat on my balcony, suggesting I’m fishing for attention.

I had a fairly hippy upbringing and don’t really feel much need to cover up when it’s hot because a body is just a body and I’m also very flat chested with an ironing board body so I don’t feel sexy anyway. I’ve always dressed quite tomboy too, I don’t like attention I just like to be comfortable.

Is this is a bit controlling? I’m not sure how to feel about it. Maybe I should just respect his more conservative boundaries, I don’t know.

It's your balcony, you can do what you like.

I live on a 3rd floor with a balcony. It's pretty quiet but I wouldn't stand on it in my underwear or a bikini. Although in reality no one is looking probably.

I'd be worried about attracting some stalker perv.

Just to clarify.. you don’t think it’s the ‘pervs who are jerking off’s’ problem then?

I think YABU. I'd ask my OH to put shorts on if he went in our back garden in pants, even though it's fairly private.

This
The way school girls dress, pulling up their skirts so high, is very concerning imo but when you see how some grown women dress in.public it's little wonder, no role models

What's your balcony made of? Quite a few around here are clear glass (sea views)

Weird and controlling of a partner. What you're wearing and what you post online is none of his business and it's concerning that he thinks it is.

However; skin cancer is a risk and it's worth making sure you're sufficiently shaded/wearing sunscreen if you're not wearing many clothes to avoid burning.

And depending on how old your children are and how likely their friends are to see your social media and react to it badly there's a reasonable argument about choosing a bit differently to avoid embarrassing your children.

There's also an argument about potential employers and whether you'd want to work for anybody who cared.

So it seems that nobody has a problem being outside in their knickers then.

Misogyny is alive and well! I’m dead classless then! I mow the lawn topless.

Yeah, but that's not the point is it.
I certainly wouldn't do it myself (either the balcony in my underwear or the SM bikini posts). And I really would rather not see my neighbours doing it either.

BUT it's a free country and it's her choice. Lot's of people do "unclassy" things, so what?

The question is about whether the boyf is being unreasonably controlling - and I think he is.

Ltb 😀

If nobody can see you sunbathing then it is up to you. Us your partner from another culture where they lobve to control every move of a woman?

Yikes! We could all be wankfodder! Quick, get the hessian sack lest we provoke some lustful thoughts. Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

I mow my lawn topless

is that a euphemism? 😳

Nah, no more than I have a problem with bikinis.

Thats a bit harsh, how is it classless to enjoy chilling out on your own balcony up high where nobody apart from your partner can see you in a crop top and a pair of brief type pants? She could wear whatever she likes, who can see her? I bet its ok for her man to walk about the house in boxers and she doesn't bat an eye lid. I hang my washing out in my pjs albeit its just short and t shirt style and chat to my male 60 yo neighbour sometimes while doing it. Most girls these days walk about the street wearing less these days, stop clutching your pearls.

In what way do you think her pants would be different from bikini bottoms… aside from one being a disaster in water and one not?

Hopw you have nipple tassels on while doing it? You dont want the next door neighbours having a meltdown. Lol

Either-

Hes quite conservative

or

he doesn’t like his property getting attention

If it’s the first one he needs reminding that you are different people with different views and he needs to accept that

if it’s the second you need to get rid because that’s only gonna get worse

Would you go lie on the beach in your bra and pants? Probably not
(although at my advanced age if I happened upon a beach on a sunny day I would consider it if it was quite but probably not do it lol).

I don’t make the rules.
Bikini - or bikini bottoms + topless on holiday abroad = ok. Bra or topless in the uk= not ok.
thems the rules.

oh god, I often hang clothes or run out to the garden in my
knickers and a t shirt - I don’t get the issue how’s it different from bikini bottoms?

Topless is totally acceptable on some UK beaches, the rest will catch up in time. One rule for men and one for women is double standards.

Yeah! I would! if I didn't have a bikini and I wanted to sunbathe, because my bra and pants cover the exact same bit of my body as a bikini does. I’m also pretty sure no one would know the difference without a close up on the material.

You’re right about one thing however, you don’t make the rules.

I live in Malta, it's so hot this week! I go on my balcony, it's 1st floor, wearing modest pants and a vest top, or a slip, I couldn't give two hoots what anyone thinks but ultimately no one cares because it's HOT! If my partner told me to cover up, I'd tell him to bugger off. I'm not going to make myself physically uncomfortable for the sake of making him emotionally comfortable.

My opinion is that our opinions do not matter. You do what you want to do and if he doesn't like it he can bog off.........or you want him to stay around enough that you are prepared to put shorts on. Your choice.

Listen to you , with your “ he should be with someone more conservative like me “ 😂 🙄
Well he’s not with you , is he !
He’s with OP cause that’s the girl he likes ..
Hippy & Hot , I’ve no doubt ! 😊..

OP , just be very firm & tell him you’re not taking any controlling crap 🤷🏻‍♀️ , like once he’s not controlling in other aspects of your relationship?..

Would you if he was on a high-up balcony where no-one can see him? What if he were not your husband? Do you think it is really your business to give orders to people about what to wear on their own property?