Partner asks me to cover up when I’m on my balcony

[Slettora]

my top floor flat has a balcony that is 2 floors up a big Victorian converted building (so quite high up). However it does overlook a fairly busy street. I got up this morning in my crop top and briefs because it’s hot and his son had already gone to school. He said if I’m going on the balcony can I put some shorts on. Weird because I’m essentially more covered up than someone would be in a bikini and it’s my balcony (?!). Anyway, he has also got upset if I’ve posted any stories on Instagram of me sunbathing with my cat on my balcony, suggesting I’m fishing for attention.

I had a fairly hippy upbringing and don’t really feel much need to cover up when it’s hot because a body is just a body and I’m also very flat chested with an ironing board body so I don’t feel sexy anyway. I’ve always dressed quite tomboy too, I don’t like attention I just like to be comfortable.

Is this is a bit controlling? I’m not sure how to feel about it. Maybe I should just respect his more conservative boundaries, I don’t know.

In our first house there was a much older woman (70-80) who would sun bathe topless in her (not very private at all) back garden. I always just thought good on her, hope she has sunscreen on.

People sunbathe in bikinis all the time, tell him to get over it.

"It's just one of those societal norms."

Honestly, it's 1950.

I would be repulsed if a guy was in public view in his boxers and I'm not alone as a few PP's have commented.
I judge all the topless men walking or running around town at the mere hint of sunrays and i don't care how buff they are. Men posing topless photos on social media are also attention seekers.
And you see, like op and her partner, people have different views. I'm sure you agree with me they're incompatible.

Anyway, he has also got upset if I’ve posted any stories on Instagram of me sunbathing with my cat on my balcony, suggesting I’m fishing for attention.

Of course you're fishing for attention, that's the whole point of Instagram.

Just own it and don't let him turn his feelings about it into your problem.

It's very much for him to deal it, not you.

@Bridport

Er, I wouldn’t like to see a man sitting out in his boxers or pants in plain sight. I don’t think that puts me in the 1950s, I think that’s pretty normal.

Not something I would do or expect my hubby to do. Sunbathing each to there own if there decent I guess lol

I wouldn't go onto the balcony in my pants and my DH wouldn't have stood there in his underpants either. But each to their own. It doesn't sound as though the OP and her partner are compatible.

But you do post on SM for attention as believe me nobody really wants to know you are sunbathing with you cat so you do it for your ego.

Each to their own.

Personally, I'd have a problem if my partner were posting bikini pictures on Instagram, and wearing her underwear on her street facing balcony. I'd have ditched her by now.

Clearly for you it's different. You need to be with someone that is happy with this.

You're incompatible.

Sunbathe in your knickers, but honestly why are you posting this on SM for attention and all that? If my (male) partner sat outside in full view in speedos I wouldn't have a problem, but I would hate if he posted his moobs and nutcrackers on SM.

You think women of all shapes and sizes should cover themselves up because of...men. No. Women don't have to do that. Maybe men could learn not to perve?

Because it's what she wants to do.

It's obviously not what you and I would do but we're not the OP.

If doesn't like it, he's free to dump her and move on.

Bring back the laugh response

Actually I think everyone should cover up and men not perv.

I assume your ideal place for a holiday would be Afghanistan where the women are covered up from head to toe and there is obviously no sexual assault or exploitation there. A veritifable paradise for women.

😂
'classless'

It's not either briefs/topless in public or burka.

I don't think a balcony two floors up is in 'public view' unless that 'public' is standing around craning their neck to get a good look, in which case they deserve any eyeful that they get. A high up balcony, in my view, is like a private back garden - of course you 'might' be seen by people interested enough to try to get a look, but it's hardly 'flaunting' yourself. Unless all the neighbours have telescopes, in which case - flaunt away!

Being in your briefs at a balcony on a busy street is classless. It wasn't in her own home. I would see putting the bins out in slippers and pyjamas as unclassy too.

People who talk about things being “classy” or otherwise invariably aren’t.

Doesn’t that stick get in the way?

I was out in my garden last night in my PJs. I usually have them and a dressing gown on when I put the bins out.
I don't have a balcony but if I did, and it was hot, I'd sit out there in my underwear.
Like you, I don't see why it's a problem

As for OP - she's 2 floors up snd it's her house. I don't understand all this 'modesty' nonsense as if we have another day of sunshine you can bet there'll be blokes of all sizes with their moobs and bellies out for show and nobody will bat an eyelid.

I wouldn’t like to see anyone in their underwear visible to passers by, it feels kind of inappropriate . That goes for men and women. I’d just rather not see strangers in their drawers as I go by on the bus.

But it’s not the OP’s boyfriend’s place to dictate what she wears. If she doesn’t care then he needs to shut up about it.

Can see both sides. If I saw a woman on balcony in just knickers and a crop top I would comment on it, not in a bitchy judgey way, but it’s not what you would normally see on a busy street. So I would say ‘look at her loving life in her knicks!’ Maybe he’s not laidback enough to deal with that.

But I wouldn’t cover up because he says so.