Partner asks me to cover up when I’m on my balcony

[Slettora]

my top floor flat has a balcony that is 2 floors up a big Victorian converted building (so quite high up). However it does overlook a fairly busy street. I got up this morning in my crop top and briefs because it’s hot and his son had already gone to school. He said if I’m going on the balcony can I put some shorts on. Weird because I’m essentially more covered up than someone would be in a bikini and it’s my balcony (?!). Anyway, he has also got upset if I’ve posted any stories on Instagram of me sunbathing with my cat on my balcony, suggesting I’m fishing for attention.

I had a fairly hippy upbringing and don’t really feel much need to cover up when it’s hot because a body is just a body and I’m also very flat chested with an ironing board body so I don’t feel sexy anyway. I’ve always dressed quite tomboy too, I don’t like attention I just like to be comfortable.

Is this is a bit controlling? I’m not sure how to feel about it. Maybe I should just respect his more conservative boundaries, I don’t know.

She's not topless in public. She is on her own balcony two floor up. A crop top and pants are no different from a bikini which is perfectly normal attire for sunbathing.

Your quest for 'modesty' is taken to extremes by the Taliban but it is a slippery slope when people start policing women's bodies and the clothes they wear.

I walk around the apartment in just knickers all the time, with blinds open. The neighbours across the street might see me but I don’t care. I’ve got small tits and an ironing board physique, same as OP, and just like to be comfortable.

It’s in my own home and no different from sunbathing topless, IMO. DP has never commented.

OP - ignore him and crack on.

My XH didn't like me walking in underwear in our apartment, particularly near the windows. He thought people could see in, i didn't think they could.
Either way, he was controlling and possessive, and i hated it.

The topless part was in refence to an earlier mention of men in public.
There is a whole world between not wearing undies in public sphere and SA and Taliban. I've no issue of op wearing short shorts on her balcony, it's the fact it's underwear.

I'm bored now though unsurprised by the predictable toxic feminist responses so I'm hiding this thread from my feed. Hopefully you can all focus on answering the actual op.

Interesting debate I started on what is deemed acceptable behaviour and how everyone has different motivations for what they do.

I am not motivated to be ‘wanked’ over, I will go out without make up and wild hair and leggings to pick up something from the shop. I don’t care what people (especially strangers) think. On SM I post to record and share nice times I’m having and sometimes it’s sunbathing with my cat.

I was brought up in South Kensington so I actually have ‘class’ but I don’t want it.

Everyone’s equal and I just wish we could do what we wanted providing it doesn’t hurt anyone else and not be judged for it. I can dream.

How can people passing by, two floors below, tell the difference between bikini bottoms and briefs? And a crop top is surely non controversial? Common sportswear.

I agree with those saying it's not the same as being in a front garden - it's a busy street but she can't be seen! Or only glimpses, if someone has eyes on stalks. The passers by are busy with their own lives.

He does sound controlling if he expects you to comply against your own wishes.

However OP I dunno what the South Ken thing is about?? The whole "classy" thing is bosh.

People have been commenting about having some class by covering up. I was simply saying I have been brought up as what some would see as ‘classy’ but I reject it cos I really don’t give a shit.

If it would bother you that your husband is looking at pictures of women sunbathing on sm, he's not BU for it to bother him that you're posting. Two sides of the same coin.

I don’t think you know what classless means.

Anyone can do what they want as long as they don’t act on it and make it weird.

But equally, you could say no one wants to see anyone’s posts on SM, whether they’re photos of them sunbathing with their cat, three sunburnt blokes in waders beaming around a large fish, your cousin in a Stetson in a line dancing competition, or fifteen drunk women wearing LINDA’S HEN WEEKEND glitter tshirts. Other people’s appetite for that stuff is very limited, but still people post it.

😂😂😂

exactly

Bit weird going on your balcony in your knickers no? I wouldn't stroll around my garden in my pants...not hard to bung a t-shirt, dressing gown, short on...

Not weird but perhaps a bit lazy.

It doesn't sound like you're very compatible with your BF.
You can do what you like on your balcony within reason. But that applies regardless of how curvy you are or aren't. "Flat chested, figure like an ironing board" - is this how you see yourself, really?! Being slim doesn't mean you won't get perved over. A flasher couldn't say "my knob's tiny so nothing to get worked up about" either could they?

For goodness sake, another controlling interfering man !! Tell him to piss off.

It is your flat and your balcony. You are two stories up. No-one will be walking along the busy street looking up at you on the second floor, and if they do, they won't do it for long, they'll get run over or walk into a lamp post.

Plus at that angle, they can't see anything anyway.

Unless there is a 10 storey hostel next door, full of single men screaming abuse down at you, there is no problem - except in his head.

Yes he's being controlling. No one else gets to have boundaries about your body. I don't see a problem being in your underwear/bikini in your garden or on your balcony.

It is your balcony and your home.

He has no right whatsoever to tell you what you can or cannot do in your own home, or anywhere else for that matter.

"However it does overlook a fairly busy street.”

I think your local corner shop owner would have seen more than he bargained for when taking in the milk deliveries! I'd have just thrown on a kimono or something, I wouldn't want the whole street seeing what colour my knickers were.

Depends how much it looks like underwear. If its a lot, then I would not sit out in it.

The belief that women can wear what they want is not toxic.

I'm bored now though unsurprised by the predictable toxic feminist responses so I'm hiding this thread from my feed.

I love it when people announce they are leaving a thread as if they genuinely believe anyone gives a shit.

I would. Its my garden. I'm not naked running down the street shoving my bits into people's faces.

I don’t think I it’s normal to go outdoors in pants without shorts or a skirt etc. So honestly if my girl pal announced she was just going out to sunbathe in her pants I would be suggesting bikini or shorts etc.