Hi bit lost as to what to do next. We recently moved back to the U.K. as we were working abroad (where we had our 3 young children) for several years. Move instigated by DH’s ‘big’ new job, suddenly he became the earner & I ‘stalled’ my career to settle kids into school / move countries etc.
His behaviour the past month has been awful, and I felt in my gut something was up. He denied and denied. Tonight he was out and I checked his laptop - basically revealing (what he claims is) an emotion affair. He was googling divorce, how to handle the fallout of an affair etc.
The affair is with a woman at the new ‘big’ job who he works with on a daily basis. She’s also married with kids. He claims they had a discussion last week, after getting back from a 3 day long company ‘off site’, where they agreed nothing could happen as they didn’t want to risk families. I said I can’t be with him if he continues to work with her. But he says he can’t leave, it’s his dream job, he earns double his previous salary etc. He’s right in that he wouldn’t land anything like this again.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve told him he needs to tell her I know all about it. I will go to her husband if it continues. But he will still see her daily etc. I feel so sad and humiliated and like he’s leading a double life. No idea if it went beyond ‘emotional’, he claims not but I’d say that too (which I said to him). I don’t trust anything he says. I can see myself in a never ending paranoia where I sneak checks at his phone and question everything. If he doesn’t leave the company, what rules does he have to follow to make this even slightly viable?
Sorry. Feeling so confused and sad for my kids. Would appreciate opinions or experience.