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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My partner says he will feel more appreciated and cared for if he got more sex and oral sex?????

133 replies

tiredmummm · 09/06/2025 13:06

I need advice. I’ve told my partner I’m dealing with mental health and my sex drive isn’t very high. I try my best to satisfy him but it’s never enough for him.

OP posts:
JoBrandsCleaner · 09/06/2025 18:16

Why would you need to make this useless idiot feel appreciated? What in earth is there to appreciate? You’re somewhere to stay with a free prostiture and maid thrown in. You obviously think nothing of yourself but at least you could think more of your son, put him first and get rid of this twat.

rainbowsparkle28 · 09/06/2025 18:19

BIN HIM AND RUN! 🚩🏃‍♀️ He is a disgusting POS not worthy of you. You deserve better.

SamDeanCas · 09/06/2025 18:20

rainbowsparkle28 · 09/06/2025 18:19

BIN HIM AND RUN! 🚩🏃‍♀️ He is a disgusting POS not worthy of you. You deserve better.

Nothing more to add to this

MushMonster · 09/06/2025 18:37

The real problem is that he is fucking lazy!
That he is not working is not a reason to:
Not getting up with his son, make him breakfast, get him ready, take him to school. Help you.
Not cleaning the house, laundry, washing up, shopping. Help you.
Not respecting that you are in pain, so do not feel like having a sexy time with him that often.

His refusal to help is the problem. He may be depressed or ill or whatever. But he needs to find out what his problem is and sort it! Or go out of the door.
Every bit of bread he is taking from your kitchen is something he is taking off your child's life. Most likely you could put your child in a new club, or take him swimming, for a weekend away... with the money it takes to feed your partner. And the mental load he is putting on you....

He needs to get up and do some chores and behave like a human.
Is he looking for work? Does he have any income?

He really needs to step up and get doing something. That will tire him, give him some self respect and sense of achievement and then all would be more manageable, for both of you. You cannot fix this from the bedroom. The issues are showing in the bedroom, but they are deep, really deep.

Tina294 · 09/06/2025 18:56

The police will help you take this trash out OP.

ohyesido · 09/06/2025 19:25

Wouldn’t we all dear

LurkyMcLurkinson · 09/06/2025 20:22

As a starting point get to your local children’s
centre and ask them to sign you up on the freedom course. You can tell him it’s a parenting course. You’ll learn all about domestic abuse, and have the support of staff and other mums which will motivate you to leave and make sure you’ve got people around you when you’re ready. You deserve so much better and given that you’ve survived this relationship it’s safe to say you’re stronger than you think.

kellygoeswest · 10/06/2025 12:16

I've just seen your latest update. Are you able to call women's aid when he's not around? I know it's scary/intimidating but they will be able to give you great advice and point you in the direction of helpful resources.

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