My partner says he will feel more appreciated and cared for if he got more sex and oral sex?????

[tiredmummm]

I need advice. I’ve told my partner I’m dealing with mental health and my sex drive isn’t very high. I try my best to satisfy him but it’s never enough for him.

I cannot work due to my health. I have mentioned that in my post. I dont need to be made feel bad about not having a job thanks

And yet he feels no guilt for leaving all the tasks to you?

@tiredmummm I understand. Assume you're receiving sick pay to help your finances? I know it's not much potentially but should help? I know when my husband couldn't work due to his spinal surgery the GP signed him off as unfit to work, so he still got some pay.

Yes I receive some financial support but this isn’t about money it’s about how I’m being made to feel because I am not meeting his needs when I’m also suffering physically and mentally.
We live together but the tenancy is mine, everytime I ask him to leave he tells me he has nowhere to go and makes me feel bad for asking him to leave.
He also points fingers at me and tells me everything is my fault. I just feel so stuck I wish he just left.

@tiredmummm Are you married? If the tenancy is solely in your name you can perhaps ask the courts to step in here and "evict" him so to speak.

Does he have family/friends he could stay with? Perhaps say the relationship is over and he has to Sunday to move out

So he's basically a lodger, in which case he has no (or very little) rights and you should evict him. Has he paid towards the rent? What's the financial situation. And why hasn't he worked for a year.

We’re not married but we have a child together.
Im just worried that if I get the courts involved he will turn nasty and aggressive towards me which I don’t want

his dad doesn’t live far but he says he doesn’t feel welcome at his dad and his brother doesn’t have any space for him to stay for a couple of weeks as he has children of his own

He hasn’t contributed to any rent ( he said my rent gets paid by the government so he doesn’t feel like he has to) as he says the money isn’t actually mine.
I am on universal credit at the minute, I’ve recently had my capability assessment as I’m dealing with a lot of health issues.
He gets pip ( for mental health issues) and he is also on universal credit at the minute

He hasn’t worked for a year as he said I messed up his mental health and it’s hard for him to get back into work

Get this cock lodging, raped bastard out of your life

You aren't stuck at all. The fact that he has nowhere to go isn't your problem. He needs to do what everyone else has to do in this situation and find somewhere. I suspect he'll miraculously find himself a job and rent a place for himself, but it really doesn't matter what he does because he's not your responsibility.

The only thing keeping you stuck in this relationship is you because you give in to him when he makes you feel guilty.

You need to get rid of him.

His housing situation is his own problem.

Kick him out. ASAP.

Tell him to leave. Ring police to remove him if he won’t go.

What does he do to make you feel appreciated and cared for?
Another man who says his balls will wither and die without sex
I'd not want any sex after that comment.

Perfect, he has a place to go. Dont feel bad about this, he clearly doesn’t feel bad making you feel this way. Perhaps ask a male relative/friend to be around sunday to assist in his eviction. Also dont be afraid to call police if needed. Then ensure you have the locks changed, even if he gives you the keys back. Block him on everything. Dont allow him back whatever sob story he gives.

your wonderful peaceful life will resume again Sunday night.

Ffs op, please wake up. Get his bags packed and put him out of your house today. You are not his mother, not responsible for his housing, his mental health or indeed his penis. I don’t know what you think you’re getting out of this relationship, please don’t say “but he’s a great dad”, he isn’t. He’s a piece of shit and I guarantee your mental health will start to improve the second the door hits him on the way out.

Where he goes is not your problem. He has brought this upon himself. To an abuser it’s always someone else’s fault, never their own. And he’s already being nasty and aggressive towards you, you going to court will not change what is already there. The man is a shit.

Stop falling for the puppy dog eyes and get your abuser out of your home. Read about codependency and see how this could relate to you in this relationship.

He is contributing nothing towards your home other than abuse. He targeted you and deliberately so to abuse you. He’s even blamed you for his MH problems so if you are supposedly that bad, why is he still there?. He’s there because he found himself a ready made meal ticket in you.

Just read your update Kick the twat out right now, with Police if necessary
Your MH will soar without this millstone round your neck.

Just read your update Kick the twat out right now, with Police if necessary
Your MH will soar without this millstone round your neck.

Weird Double posts are a first for me!

, everytime I ask him to leave he tells me he has nowhere to go and makes me feel bad for asking him to leave.

thats not your problem though, that's his
Come up - Woman up and kick him out

indeed find your big girl pants here and either assistance kick him out and put his possessions in bin bags.

Why would he leave though when he’s in bed whilst you’re up and about doing everything necessary for both your home and child?.

He’s taken you for a fool and has no respect for you whatsoever. He’s reduced you to this low point in your life and he’s no decent example of a father to his children let alone some partner to you. He’s further trashed your perhaps already weakened boundaries.

You don’t need him, he’s already shagged someone else since you’ve been together and now he’s holding you to ransom, to sexually satisfy him or he looks elsewhere. You do everything in the house and look after your child so do yourself a favour a tell him to leave. Your MH will feel better once you get used to being on your own and you won’t be pestered and made to felt defective. He can shag himself happy and you will be too.