Which typically male interests/activities give you the ick?

[GoldfinchFeather]

Meant as a lighthearted thread, so hope nobody gets bent out of shape over this - also, I've added the disclaimer of 'typically' male to close off anyone taking umbrage with that... 😅

Dipped a toe back into OLD recently, and already feeling pretty exasperated with just how flipping dull a lot of men are. A lot of them that I've come across only seem to be interested in two things, football and going to the gym.

Maybe that's okay for some people, but these two things alone are enough to put me off. I hate football for a lot of reasons, namely the idiotic behaviour that a lot of football fans display, plus the fact that it's just so painfully boring to watch. I couldn't date a football fan, because being subjected to daily conversation about who was best at kicking a ball around would slowly drive me mad. Don't even get me started on fantasy football or 'accas'...

As for men who spend most their lives in the gym? Yawn. Nobody cares how many 'reps' you've done, or how tough 'leg day' was, Steve. Give me some proper intellectual stimulation, ffs!

Where are all the men who are interested in the arts, nature, books, photography, politics etc? Or even just sports that aren't as unbelievably boring as football? Or do they no longer exist?

So, tell me ladies. Am I alone here, or are there typical male interests that would really put you off a guy, no matter how attractive they might otherwise be?

I agree with this. You’re assuming every football fan is a lager drinking thug who gets in fights at matches with a beer belly. It’s just not true. Dating is hard enough, I wouldn’t eliminate every man who likes our national sport as there will be slim pickings left. You don’t have to watch it with him, you don’t even have to talk to him about it.

Football has a problematic culture though. The higher level matches are heavily policed for good reason. Pubs are often a no go zone during and after the same matches because of the screaming, yelling, drunkenness, poor behaviour etc. This is not some small proportion of the issue, it's a highly visible and aggressive proportion and many people will avoid it for their own safety.

Players are frequently not held accountable for their own actions on or off the pitch (yes I know that happens to wealthy men the world over) and they have a huge following of fans who will forgive them all sorts of appalling behaviour because they are paid big £££ and play for a Premiership club.

There are extra policing resources made available during these same matches for domestic abuse response - due to a 25% increase (the % varies across the country) in DA reports of violence against women in their homes on match days when England played International games no matter the result of the game...

It's small wonder so many women find football a problematic part of a man's life, especially if it's his whole life as it is for so many.

https://news.npcc.police.uk/releases/police-to-target-domestic-abusers-during-euros

https://www.thenextchapter.org.uk/news/euro2024

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/womens-aid-launches-no-more-years-of-hurt-campaign-highlighting-the-spike-in-domestic-abuse-during-big-football-games/

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/england-football-domestic-abuse-999-calls-police-refuge-b2626698.html

The incels have arrived

I’m a 49-year-old woman and although I’m not really knowledgeable about it, I can absolutely understand the appeal of Marvel. I’m actually slightly getting into it at the moment after being cajoled into watching the Avengers films. And I absolutely ADORE Deadpool.

Love your username by the way. #TeamRhysand 😉

I'm currently on my third re-read of ACOMAF... not that I have a problem or anything!

The magic circle one reminds me of the it crowd episode where Jen dates a man who looks like a magician 😅

I'm good, thanks. I stand by my last comment - football is the sport that consistently causes the most trouble, in person and online, in this country and elsewhere. So, while it's not all football fans, there's a not insignificant proportion of football fans who are like that that it's not a risk I'm personally prepared to take.

And even I did happen to meet a football fan who wasn't an idiot, I'd still find them basing more or less their entire personality around that an ick, I'm afraid.

So, if the choices are dating a football fan, or remaining single, I'm happy to take the latter.

But why does it feel like this is turning into the 'not all men' debate?

Once mention has been made of "not all men", then further contributions are probably a waste of time. However, because I'm a ruddy bloke, I'll plough on regardless.

From my male acquaintance, here are the two football fans who spring to mind: T, opera lover, expert historian who has written books, and who cycled across a desert to recreate the journey of another historian/adventurer he admired; M, one of the best teachers I ever worked with, an accomplished musician who, despite years of performing, has never lost the urge to be better and practices assiduously but - far more importantly than that - is just about the most well-rounded human I know and is an inspiration to me as both a father and a husband.

Still - I've also had the experience of being bored rigid by a bloke talking football at me when it should be blindingly obvious I couldn't care less.

If it gives you the ick, it gives you the ick - you don't need to make mad statistical leaps to justify it. Icks are allowed to be unjustifiable/irrational. Mine absolutely are irrational and I wouldn't try to claim they're not.

As someone who has been watching football at all levels for my entire life - from grassroots to internationals - I've witnessed precisely zero violent incidents. I've seen lots of violent incidents at political protests (of which I've also been to many) though. I would also say that 95% of the abuse I've ever had on social media has been politically-driven. I can only think of one time in about 15 years when I've been attacked online, over the issue of football, by another football fan. I have been attacked online a lot more often by non-football fans angry about me liking football though.

I've actually only ever dated two men who didn't like football. One of them was violently abusive and the other was a crashing great snob who had made not liking football into his entire personality.

You are perfectly entitled to rule out anyone who likes football from your dating pool (although as others have pointed out, that will also rule out countless men who also like the arts, nature, books, photography and politics - all my many football-loving male friends and family members, including my own DP, are very much into those things as well as football) but you probably ought to accept that this is an 'ick' rather than a rational and informed judgement.

Gamers. Often hand in hand with being sweaty and obese.

they can't resist the (frankly, homogenised) tattooed, bearded, muscular, bombastic, over-confident alpha male types who are into those things

That's just balls. Let go of that incel-generated view of women, you'll feel a lot better for it.

In defence of cycling.

Surely it can be split to cyclists who wear Lycra and those who don’t.

The commuters on the train with the folding bikes and clips on their legs seem fine, as do those who are casually out for a ride with family on country lanes.

The ones who put on Lycra however…. there is something different about behaviour (including on how they behave on the roads).

None put me off in themselves (except maybe fishing...) but it's when it's obsessive and dominates everything.

Gaming
Gym
(watching) Football/F1
Golf
Running/Cycling

These are the big ones back when I dated and it takes over their whole lives. It's so boring. 'No I can't do x fun activity because the football is on.' bitch please.

The ones that really get me are those that suggest fucking paddleboarding or indoor rock climbing as a first date. Mate, I know you aren't doing this every weekend and you just wanna show off and pretend you're 'different' and interesting. No.

Can you tell I don't date anymore? Turns me mean and miserable

When encouraging people to do something my DB uses the saying:
“you should try everything once, except incest and morris dancing.”

Hunting with dogs and or guns.

Do you regularly come across many men who describe Hunter S Thompson as their favourite author? Strikes me as a bit niche…

Gaming. Ex Territorial Army men who are experts on all matters. Golf

Lycra though - if you’re doing a long bike ride, getting up out of your seat frequently, Lycra just makes sense. It’s like wearing leggings at yoga. You need something that is going to stay in place so that you don’t have to adjust it, and tight so doesn’t cause chafing. Plus if you do stack it, it should stay in place and help minimise road burn. I’d certainly feel more at risk wearing soft cotton shorts which would ride up immediately.

cycling shorts normally have big pads in - though I don’t know why they don’t just make more comfortable saddles.

Cycling tops have long zips at front to help manage temperature. (You get really hot on the ascent, then freeze in the descent because you’re making minimal effort and lots of wind). Pockets at the back for snacks etc. plus it can make you feel a bit unstable if you’ve got a top flapping around in the wind.

I do agree there’s a big gap in market for cycling clothing that meets cyclists’s needs, whilst being more flattering for those of us who aren’t as young and fit as we used to be !

Gaming, football, fishing, hunting.

Obviously hunting, fishing, anything that is using animals for sport in addition to the previous list. Anything violent in any way. Is now add meat eaters too. I used to overlook it but can’t now. Luckily I’m happily single.

Apart from being into super-heroes what gives me ick is the intensity of the hobby rather than the hobby itself, i.e. I don't mind somebody into football but I would not date a seasonal ticket holder. And I would not date somebody who does NOT read.

Balderdash. I, for one, dislike tattoos, beards and heavily muscled men and I very much doubt I am alone. I am certainly not alone, as a woman, in having no interest in nightclubs or rugby, and enjoying art galleries and museums. Do we live on the same planet?

I've got a Warhammer playing husband (who also likes gaming). In all honesty I could see how the Warhammer would put someone off - the amount of room you need to store it all (and the amount it costs....!) is ridiculous haha. On the other hand, I wake up at all hours and keep big chunks of time free for the sports I'm interested in, which I'm sure would also put people off.

But DH and I both read, take an interest in politics, go to gigs, like the outdoors, go bouldering, enjoy cooking (well, he does)... generally reasonably well-rounded people. Reducing someone to a single hobby or interest is strange to me!

they can't resist the (frankly, homogenised) tattooed, bearded, muscular, bombastic, over-confident alpha male types who are into those things.

Women have a huge variety of tastes and like all kinds of men. The above wouldn't be my taste (and I actively dislike beards and big muscles). In fact I love skinny, dweeby, quiet, bespectacled, creative or sciency blokes.

However, most women will agree that they don't like a man who "homogenises" them and what they like and tells them what they like when he has no idea. Women are people, they are human beings just like men, they are all different and deserve respect. They are not some glomming mass of sexual availability who exist to serve men's needs, and if they don't serve yours, you need to think abuot your attitude, rather than blaming women.

Gaming - massive NO NO if a man games - i turn down them down. Massive fan of sports to the extreme where he wastes hours and days watching them. No way matey.
I was blessed to meet my DH who has no interest in either and prefers books, hikes, wood and metal work. Also majorly into DIY so all his hobbies are practical and useful and makes him interesting and helps in the house.