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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being dramatic?

208 replies

Serenity21 · 30/05/2025 20:59

Hi all,
so I was single for 10 years after some pretty awful relationships. I met someone over a year ago and things were good. A few red flags at times which I’ve put down to me looking for things.
On Sunday we went out for drink. It was going great until at the end of the night he took my phone into the toilets and read some of my messages between myself and my best friend. There was something written in there about a friend of mine (who I have slept with years ago, which he knows about and was tears before I met him). All that was written was a joke about me having some of his gym stuff in my garage (which I don't!) I don't talk much to this guy anymore, even though he has been one of my best friends for years, as after my boyfriend found out we had slept together in the past he wasn't happy. His reaction on Sunday night was extreme.
He didn't say anything at first, we just left the pub with him actually a bit strange.
He went to buy food and wouldn't let me wait outside for him, he said 'no, you're coming with me' and pulled me in. We walked down the busy road with lots of people about, him still holding my hand.
When there was no one about anymore he threw my hand away from him and confronted me about the message. I told
him it was a joke but he continued getting angry. He threw his food across the path demanding to know if I still spoke to this guy. I told him 'not really, but that he was still my friend: This is where he lost it. He started shouting at me, calling me a bitch, a c*nt, and a slag': Telling me that we were over. I walked away and told him to walk home and that I'd follow behind.
He apologised a lot and so I started walking with him again. Then he lost it again. He walked ahead and started kicking the metal bollard over and over.
He turned and started walking quickly towards me. I started walking backwards and he said 'yeah you can run' I put my arm out to push him back but he grabbed my arm and started turning me, where I lost my balance and started to fall. I managed to get away and I ran. I hid for a while and he tried calling me about 40 times. I answered and told him I'd be home in a bit. He text me to say he had packed my things and put them in my car.
When I got back he was sat crying. He asked me if there was a way back from
this and I said no. I put his key on the table and I walked away to the front door.
He threw a pint glass against the wall in the room he was in and it smashed everywhere. I went back in to check on him but he told me to get out so I did. I waited in the hallway. I could hear him shouting to himself and smashing things up. He was saying I was manipulative, that I ruined his life and that I deserved the abusive relationships that I'd been in in the past. Things went quiet for a few minutes and then started again so I went back in to tell him someone would call the police if he wasn't quiet. I told him I heard what he said about the fact I deserved the abuse I've had in the past and he laughed. Hysterically laughed and said that I was even making that about me. He then threw his belt across the room and said 'I can't even kill myself properly' and went on to tell me how he had just tried to hang himself with the belt when I left. I ended up staying as I was scared to leave him. In the morning he was very sorry and full of remorse. He said that he tried to hang himself because he knew I couldn't get back in so it wouldn't be me to find him.
He has also told me yesterday that he got into my car and switched on the engine and revved that night when he put my things into the car. (He was very drunk)
We have put this down to him having too much to drink that night but I am concerned and confused.
I'm sorry that that is all very muddled.
Is this just a normal blip that happens in relationships? As it’s kind of what I’m used to in the past. My friend was horrified but I just said it was one of those things.

OP posts:
category12 · 31/05/2025 06:16

he got upset with me (didn’t shout or anything), just expressed his upset, because I changed my what’s app profile photo fromone where I was wearing a necklace he got me, to one where I wasn’t wearing the necklace. He first started by asking when I had taken the photo. He then changed HIS what’s app profile photo to a different one of myself and him, and then when he spoke to me he said that he was upset because there isn’t much ‘out there’ apart from instagram that shows we are together to people, and now because I’m not wearing the necklace in my new photo, that he is now ‘not even in that photo at all’.I know this sounds childish of me to write this to you all.It doesn't sound childish of you, it sounds insane of him. He's incredibly controlling and he's policing you in every way. He's trying to shrink you and your world to just him. You're not dramatic, you're underreacting to actual abuse and coercive control. He, on the other hand, is extremely dramatic alongside his controlling, abusive behaviour. Split up with him.

CornflowerDusk · 31/05/2025 08:56

Your update about the necklace isn't childish OP. It's a good example of how he is controlling and manipulative about even the most minor and insignificant thing. Constant criticism like this is what slowly makes people question everything we do and worry about their reaction, meaning our life and our confidence gets smaller and smaller.

I agree with pp you probably do have some kind of PTSD, I'm the same as you - I grew up with abuse and when I was in abusive relationships I felt very detached and unemotional when I was abused. I now realise this was basically dissociation - my body and mind reaching to threat and detaching to try and keep me safe. That doesn't mean you are safe - quite the opposite - the mind reacts like that to protect you from the threat of harm you are experiencing.

You deserve better. You do not have to experience any of this worry, any of this uncertainty, walking on eggshells, worrying about his reaction. You deserve to feel safe and secure, with nothing in your life triggering your trauma responses so you can have the space to heal and build a life that makes you happy. You are worth more than this. If you stay this will happen again and again, you will never know when it's coming so you will walk on eggshells in between and it sounds like he is getting worse. He could really hurt you next time. Please don't accept his excuses.

Serenity21 · 31/05/2025 09:01

Thank you everyone. I wish I could have replied personally to every message on here. I appreciate all of your responses and have taken steps to reach out for some help. I have known I have needed some kind of therapy in the past. I’ve tried a few, but, with the cost of it, I can’t afford it and with the free NHS sessions they only give 6, which never even scratched the surface. I’ve given a lot of advice to others before, based on my experiences, I just never thought I’d be on the receiving end again of such advice. It’s always hard to leave. I’m heartbroken to be honest. Thank you all though xx

OP posts:
CornflowerDusk · 31/05/2025 09:30

Morning OP, well done for reaching out for help. I know what you mean - in situations like this everyone responds to the safety concerns and gives advice based on getting you to safety, and we often forget about the very real heartbreak at the centre of it. So I wanted to say I hear you, and understand the feeling where you know you need to leave a relationship because it is no longer safe, but your heart is breaking for the relationship you thought you had/the man you saw and loved in happier moments. It is deeply upsetting because it's easy to think - if he would just stop the abusive we could be happy. But he has let you down massively. He has chosen to abuse you in multiple ways throughout he relationship. He is not the man he pretends to be when he is reeling you back in. And that is hugely disappointing and heartbreaking.

Serenity21 · 31/05/2025 09:41

CornflowerDusk · 31/05/2025 09:30

Morning OP, well done for reaching out for help. I know what you mean - in situations like this everyone responds to the safety concerns and gives advice based on getting you to safety, and we often forget about the very real heartbreak at the centre of it. So I wanted to say I hear you, and understand the feeling where you know you need to leave a relationship because it is no longer safe, but your heart is breaking for the relationship you thought you had/the man you saw and loved in happier moments. It is deeply upsetting because it's easy to think - if he would just stop the abusive we could be happy. But he has let you down massively. He has chosen to abuse you in multiple ways throughout he relationship. He is not the man he pretends to be when he is reeling you back in. And that is hugely disappointing and heartbreaking.

Thank you. I’m in a bit of denial this morning. I’m so sad. My life is about to change massively too. My daughter who I have cared for for the last 19 years with multiple disabilities is possibly moving away to residential college. Amazing opportunity for her but it’s going to be hard on both of us. My heart is breaking over that too and I thought my partner would be there to support me. I’m so scared that I’m going to throw this away over a ‘drunken reaction’. But I also know it was really bad and worse than his last drunken reaction (to which he promised would never happen again). I’m utterly devastated at the moment xx

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 31/05/2025 09:45

OP you’re not throwing anything away. The hard reality is the man you fell for doesn’t exist. He’s a facade, a fake, an act he puts on to convince you he’s a good guy while he hides the abusive cunt he truly is under the surface
But the true him always comes out and once the genie is out of the bottle, things escsjte as you’re already seeing.

With your DD going into residential college, why not use your time to widen your social circle, meet new friends and build a life where you become far more secure in yourself.

I know you said you can’t afford therapy but have you looked at the freedom programme - it can be done online.

TwistedWonder · 31/05/2025 09:46

www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

Serenity21 · 31/05/2025 09:50

TwistedWonder · 31/05/2025 09:46

Thank you. Am I going to ask about this. Also, I’ll be going back to work (teaching), so I’m hoping to build my life up as if she goes it’s going to be such an awful change xx

OP posts:
category12 · 31/05/2025 09:50

I’m so scared that I’m going to throw this away over a ‘drunken reaction’.

But it's not just a drunken reaction, it's controlling and possessive behaviour when he's sober too.

And anyway, being drunk doesn't actually excuse that behaviour. People run down by drunk drivers aren't any less dead, are they?

You're not less scared and humiliated because he was drunk.

His house isn't any less smashed up because he was drunk.

He actually gave himself permission to act like that by drinking. He knows he's done it before and yet he repeated the same behaviour but worse. He's just testing out how much you'll stick around for.

Please don't let your history of abusive relationships be your future.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 31/05/2025 09:52

Read Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft. Free pdf files are on live and the book only costs a few pounds. It will be money well spent .

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?.

BACP could be of great help to you and they I think have a sliding scale of fees.

Jellyrols · 31/05/2025 09:59

That was not a drunken upset.
That was pure threatening violent rage.

He is dangerous.
Please do a Claire's law request.
He has the potential to seriously hurt you.

Your daughter needs her mum safe.

NEVER allow him in your space again.
NEVER be alone with him again.

CornflowerDusk · 31/05/2025 10:56

category12 · 31/05/2025 09:50

I’m so scared that I’m going to throw this away over a ‘drunken reaction’.

But it's not just a drunken reaction, it's controlling and possessive behaviour when he's sober too.

And anyway, being drunk doesn't actually excuse that behaviour. People run down by drunk drivers aren't any less dead, are they?

You're not less scared and humiliated because he was drunk.

His house isn't any less smashed up because he was drunk.

He actually gave himself permission to act like that by drinking. He knows he's done it before and yet he repeated the same behaviour but worse. He's just testing out how much you'll stick around for.

Please don't let your history of abusive relationships be your future.

This is absolutely right. If I had ever in my life acted aggressively, threateningly or violently when drunk and truly regretted it, I would never have drank again. He is drinking to lower his boundaries, fuel his rage and excuse his abuse. He chose to drink and he chose to abuse you. This is all his doing.

BeNiceWhenItsFinished · 31/05/2025 10:59

Serenity21 · 30/05/2025 21:41

No we don’t live together. Xx

Thank goodness for that. So you can dump the bastard immediately then.

More red flags than a bullfighters conference. The hills are that way >>>>>>>>>>

BuckChuckets · 31/05/2025 11:04

Glad you've realised how bad it is, @Serenity21 - sorry if I've missed this, but have you got all your stuff back and blocked him?

thepariscrimefiles · 31/05/2025 11:26

Serenity21 · 30/05/2025 21:44

He just seems so kind in other ways. My best friend thinks he has an ‘unhealthy attachment’ to me. On my one and only night out with her since I’ve known this man (15 months), I forgot to let him know we got home safe, so he walked up and down the street with all the pubs and clubs looking for me ‘to check I was safe’ until I woke up and text him.

I'm assuming that the kindness is love bombing which is typical from this sort of man to reel you in and once you feel secure, the controlling and unhinged behaviour starts.

He is very dangerous and you need to cut all contact with him. Ignore any threats from him about taking his own life and if you think he is serious, phone the police but tell them that he is your abusive ex-partner and you don't want to be involved.

Bananalanacake · 31/05/2025 14:01

The most important thing is he doesn't live with you, I am surprised he hasn't moved in by stealth, he sounds like the type.

pinkyredrose · 31/05/2025 14:26

Op have you told him it's over for good or are you scared to?

Serenity21 · 31/05/2025 16:42

I haven’t told him yet. I am going to get some advice off WA I think xx

OP posts:
Serenity21 · 31/05/2025 18:14

CornflowerDusk · 31/05/2025 08:56

Your update about the necklace isn't childish OP. It's a good example of how he is controlling and manipulative about even the most minor and insignificant thing. Constant criticism like this is what slowly makes people question everything we do and worry about their reaction, meaning our life and our confidence gets smaller and smaller.

I agree with pp you probably do have some kind of PTSD, I'm the same as you - I grew up with abuse and when I was in abusive relationships I felt very detached and unemotional when I was abused. I now realise this was basically dissociation - my body and mind reaching to threat and detaching to try and keep me safe. That doesn't mean you are safe - quite the opposite - the mind reacts like that to protect you from the threat of harm you are experiencing.

You deserve better. You do not have to experience any of this worry, any of this uncertainty, walking on eggshells, worrying about his reaction. You deserve to feel safe and secure, with nothing in your life triggering your trauma responses so you can have the space to heal and build a life that makes you happy. You are worth more than this. If you stay this will happen again and again, you will never know when it's coming so you will walk on eggshells in between and it sounds like he is getting worse. He could really hurt you next time. Please don't accept his excuses.

I’m sorry you went through that xx

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 31/05/2025 18:26

'I haven’t told him yet. I am going to get some advice off WA I think xx'

but

that's not until Wednesday

how are you going to avoid seeing him for 5 days - it's only Saturday now

you are not intending on seeing him ever again

are you

Serenity21 · 31/05/2025 18:39

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 31/05/2025 18:26

'I haven’t told him yet. I am going to get some advice off WA I think xx'

but

that's not until Wednesday

how are you going to avoid seeing him for 5 days - it's only Saturday now

you are not intending on seeing him ever again

are you

I won’t be seeing him now until at least Tuesday as we have different things on.
im sorry, I know everyone will think I’m weak etc. I really am trying to come to terms with what’s happened. And me reaching out to WA is a big step for me. I’m sorry. I’m just hurting and still in a bit of shock xx

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 31/05/2025 19:26

Weak and dead
or strong and alive

do you realise that is what it could come to

women are killed by their boyfriends / partners / husbands every year

Serenity21 · 31/05/2025 19:30

I know. I really do.

I feel terrible as I think I’ve made this sound worse than it is. I know women go through terrible abuse xx

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 31/05/2025 19:33

NO

you are now playing it down !

It is / was as bad as you wrote

TwistedWonder · 31/05/2025 19:42

OP - you’re still not seeing the reality of his serious your situation iis

In my time on MN, this is one of the worst abusive men I’ve read about. He is absolutely a violent aggressive controlling abuser and every day you delay ending it with him is another day you risk serious harm. He’s a fucking head case - don’t be another woman who ends up in hospital or on a mortuary slab because she gave a cunt another chance