Random message saying DH affair

[basilbush]

Hoping for some advice here

Background-been with my DH 19 years, married 13 with two young children (nursery and reception).

I would say we have a happy marriage and solid family life. We rarely argue, spend time together and mostly manage to be respectful and have fun. We are intimate fairly regularly with no issues there (that I’m aware of).

So now to the weirdness. Yesterday afternoon I got a message on WhatsApp. It’s from a number I don’t recognise and the contact card photo is a flower so not identifying. The message said my DH (used his name) was cheating on me, had been going on for 6 months and I was naive to think my marriage was happy.

i haven’t replied. I’m not sure what to say and it’s knocked me for 6. I know you read posts from women all the time where they can’t see what’s right in front of them but I honestly don’t believe it. I don’t believe he’s capable of it-nor has he really had the opportunity.

He has recently started going to the gym and got fitter but we’ve both had health scares and it ties in with that.

Im not really sure what to do. I was going to just ask him outright (he’s away with work and back later today) and say I’ve got this weird message but it seemed so ridiculous to even ask him.

And being away with work isn’t a red flag-he’s sent photos of the conference, we faced timed last night and he rang me when got back to the room. First time he’s stayed away for a work thing in a year.

sorry, this was long and rambling!

Do you? I don't. Occam's Razor.

Just sent a message back saying, oh dear, you better get tested for herpes then

I would be unable to let this lie and want to find out who sent it. The tone certainly does not read as if it is some one who wants to warn you but rather some one who deliberately wants to hurt you or your husband. I would gather the information you've got and see how many people know the things that have been said such as you were at a baby shower. It is amazing how much information people can pick up quite easily - for example were you tagged in any posts by the person who had the baby shower or any of the attendants?

I don't think knowing or not about a tattoo would really prove anything because he could have mentioned having a tattoo in passing and what it is without anybody actually seeing it.

I also think if this was from the supposed other woman they would be able to furnish much more damning evidence than messages which were supposedly spent this morning.

That thread was absolutely disgusting.

Do any of your friends have a crush on him @basilbush? I wonder if they’re attempting to split you up…

The only one who can answer this is her husband tbh. He could well of been with his parents or snuck off for a bit if he is seeing someone. None of us know this guy or who it is messaging.

It all does sound odd and it could well be a nutter who has it in for either of them. I really hope it's not an affair but also I hope f it is someone nuts it end with the messages.

Assuming that was the scam. Some people just do it to cause drama in people’s lives.

Poor you OP @basilbush

Hope you can get to the bottom of it tonight 💐

Definitely someone who knows you or they wouldn’t know about the baby shower or your friends name.
I trust my partner completely but if I got a message like this I’d do some digging before asking him.
Hope you get to the bottom of it

Is there anyway someone might have used dh picture by getting it off Facebook or such like?

The messages seem a bit immature and simplistic to me. Is there a teenager you've pissed off who would know about the shower party? Do you work with teenagers you have to discipline? I was going to add that they'd have to be a bit techy but probably most in this age group could do the fake WhatsApp or know a friend who could (not for a minute suggesting teenagers are more malicious than adults, but they may not have yet learned to be more sophisticated about it!)

@basilbush was the March thing with PIL on social media? If so whoever it is messaging may have spent time earlier today looking for something to use as ‘evidence’. Good time to make sure Fb posts are visible to friends or family only, not friends of friends or public. Likewise make sure friends on your profile is only visible to current friends.

I’d be inclined to call the number from another phone, but witholding your number. See if they pick up so you can get them to speak - see if you recognise.

Good luck tonight @basilbush

Hmm, I would
1.google the number

1. Search the number on face book
2. Not reply to the message
3. Call the number from a landline and see who picks up
4. Confront husband.

Could I answer too?
Nite has only one meaning and is softer and more affectionate than night.
Besides, if I'd been having a conversation with my adult daughter, then said night, she'd probably reply, what about it? 😆

One night late, I received a text that simply said, "Go outside" which I did.
Turned out that she, 50 miles away was watching the Northern Lights, but there was nothing here.

You sound very grounded and sensible.

Whoever is sending these poison pen messages obviously knows who you both are and has malicious intent.

I’d be so curious about this. Who would send messages like that.

Years go I lived next door to a really nasty family. I came home one day to a badly written note saying my then boyfriend was seeing someone else. I knew instantly it was a malicious letter so ignored it.

On the flip side to that I know someone who had an affair with a builder, she’d go to whichever house he was renovating and they’d have sex. He’d even go to her house early morning before work. She also went to his house when his wife was on a girls weekend away. His wife found out and just seemed to accept it and so the affair continued. It was all very odd

This is almost certainly a scam.
www.bitdefender.com/en-us/blog/hotforsecurity/fresh-scam-targeting-couples-uses-cheating-spouses-name-as-leverage#:~:text=This%20fresh-out-of-the-oven%20scam%20begins%20with%20a%20well-crafted%20email,so%20alarming%20is%20the%20emotional%20vulnerability%20it%20exploits.

‘Nite’ doesn’t have a softer meaning than ‘night’. Nor it more affectionate. It simply means ‘night’. It was once used in Old Englishni think, then it became unfashionable, then it returned when characters cost money in texting. So it’s now back in use.

I never believe it isn't cheating BUT it does sound like this time it's probably someone with a grudge/too much time on their hands!

I wondered if it could be a man someone husband has upset, professionally or personally.

My friends son a teenager started sending me obscene messages over the phone. He did it to another friend of hers. It was really sick. The police tracked him down. Blew up the friendship.

Nah, I know 100% my DP would never use U in a message!