DP positivity thread, anyone?

[LastPostISwear]

Just wanted to excess my feelings somewhere! (I already tell DH constantly.)

I just love him so much. Today he came home and just chatted so much, and I was so happy to hear all about his day and his thoughts. (If I could crawl inside his mind and live there, or occupy the same physical space as him, I would; that would be perfect intimacy for me.) He is so smart and kind and thoughtful and handsome, and is always trying to be an even better partner to me (and he succeeds!) I feel incredibly lucky to be his wife.

What are some things you love about your DP?

How does losing attraction to the opposite sex, whilst retaining attraction to the same sex, and labeling yourself appropriately afterwards, constitute “co opting a sexuality?”

Can’t exactly compare a male partner to a female one, can you? It’s very different.

Because that's not how sexuality works.

Look, you can decide you're done with men and you only want female partners, fine. But you're still bi, not lesbian.

You said you are 28 and have been together 10 years so that means you got together at 18

so despite being in the first flushes of love with your now husband… you slept with TONS of men in those early years?

To quote you OP

We’ve been together for 10 years

As an aside @LastPostISwear on another thread yesterday about random services we pay for, you said I have someone come and scoop my dogs’ poop from their yard

you were asked a couple of times to elaborate. Please come back to that thread and explain!!

Well, this is very much making me look forward to living my NORMAL life with my NORMAL husband today!

Apparently it means a female partner will be expected to be accept less than you'd give to a man. 🙄

You're just talking nonsense. You cannot predict how you'll feel IF your relationship goes the distance and IF you're widowed. (Possibly after spending years being a carer for a much older partner. )

60 isn't "old" these days. Hopefully you won't think so if you're still with this guy in 7 years anyway.

Because that's not how sexuality works.

Do you mean you think I’ll still be attracted to men even after my DH dies? Or that you think if you ever once in your life feel attraction for a man, even if that changes, in addition to women, you’re still bisexual?

Look, you can decide you're done with men and you only want female partners, fine. But you're still bi, not lesbian.

I think what you guys are missing is that I most likely won’t feel attraction for men at that point, not that I’d simply decide not to have relationships with men.

Yes

What are you talking about? Men and women are just different, therefore you cannot compare them. That means if I was trying to date men after losing my husband, I’d probably compare every potential male partner to him (not fair) but I couldn’t compare every potential female partner to him. You people jump to the WORST possible conclusion every single time, huh?

60 isn’t “old” as in, “decrepit.” But it’s old in terms of finding a new life partner.

60 isn’t “old” as in, “decrepit.” But it’s old in terms of finding a new life partner.

A lot of my older family members have remarried or partnered up since being widowed. Heck, my mum in her 70s, who could never love again, has a gentleman caller she seems pretty pleased with. 👀

I'm curious about your tons of partners before your marriage. Was that before you were 18, or after you met him at 18 but before marriage?

I just can’t imagine starting over at that age. I’ll hopefully have grandchildren by then, and be traveling all over; maybe it would be better to be single then instead of trying to introduce someone new into my life at that point.

I lost my virginity at 17, and between then and meeting DH, I had a lot of sexual partners. Dated him non-exclusively for the first couple months before committing as well. And then a few years into our relationship, we started exploring ENM together, so there were a few more partners there.

Yes, but you've no idea what your life will be like at 60.

Best laid plans o'mice and men aft gang agley and all that.

Did you actually date and form relationships with any of these people for any length of time?

Yes, dated a lot of them. I had a few relationships, though most of them were non-exclusive… I’m pretty picky when it comes to commitment

I think what you guys are missing is that I most likely won’t feel attraction for men at that point, not that I’d simply decide not to have relationships with men.

Again, not how sexuality works. You just sound a bit teenagery saying stuff like that. You can't predict how you'll feel in 10, 20, 30 years.

You still haven’t explained what you mean by “that’s not how sexuality works”

In most of her posts she sounds like that type of teenager trying to have a conversation with their parents' friends, making out like they know everything (despite being a teenager), and the grown ups just WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.

Nailed it.

You lot are so obnoxious

Genuinely though, I don’t think anyone here has been hugely obnoxious - it’s just difficult to respond to you with any level of seriousness because you talk such utter shite.

Totally the least obnoxious response ever! Thanks xx

But you began your relationship with him when you were 18

so despite being in a new relationship with someone you went on to marry, you felt the need and desire to sleep with TONS of men in those early years

That is quite telling

I think headway has been made!!

the Op concedes she’s been talking “utter shite”!!

Op multiple times on other threads you say you’ve been with your husband for a decade

you are 28

so you began your relationship with your now DH when you were 18

What was your relationship with your husband in those early years?

Were you exploring ethical non-monogamy together as a couple or did you consider yourself single and a free agent?

Was there the power dynamic of submissive and dominant at that time as well?

How much time did you actually spend developing connections with other people as a single adult?