DP positivity thread, anyone?

[LastPostISwear]

Just wanted to excess my feelings somewhere! (I already tell DH constantly.)

I just love him so much. Today he came home and just chatted so much, and I was so happy to hear all about his day and his thoughts. (If I could crawl inside his mind and live there, or occupy the same physical space as him, I would; that would be perfect intimacy for me.) He is so smart and kind and thoughtful and handsome, and is always trying to be an even better partner to me (and he succeeds!) I feel incredibly lucky to be his wife.

What are some things you love about your DP?

Which makes the grooming/brainwashing part more likely. Add to that the OP talking about the "tons" of men that she has slept with, and I have to think "WTAF?".

Twenty-five years difference in age, especially when one was just barely legal, gives me an absolute "ick".

Why not? I don’t know if I would be interested in other men at all, after being with DH for a lifetime. Would functionally be a lesbian, if I dated anyone again

Whoop, there it is again! “You didn’t actually love him, you silly child! You just thought you did!”

FOH

It really would have only taken a minute to look more closely at it and notice the dates; I wasn’t “too busy.” I just didn’t do it

Please stop being insensitive to ACTUAL victims of grooming. Asking out an adult whom you’ve never met prior, and them saying yes of their own accord, is in no way “grooming.”

There’s nothing wrong with sleeping with whomever you want when you’re young and single, as long as you do it safely.

You can have the ick all you want; it doesn’t make it wrong. It’s just not your preference. You can stop thinly veiling insults with faux concern now, thanks 🙄

You sound a bit silly here.

I know this is the deepest love known to human and all that, but most of us have experienced similar emotions at one timeor another.

If and when it ends, most people go on to have other relationships and don't 'become' lesbians or Miss Haversham, despite what they think in the fevered throes.

I just can’t picture it at all. Plus, hopefully, I’ll be quite old when I lose him; is there even a point of starting over at that age?

Say, he makes it to 80, you'd be 55, yes?

Are you expecting his interest in companionship and sex to vanish in two years time? 🤔

I’d expect at least 85, barring accidents or illnesses, and that’d put me at 60.

WDYM by that last bit?

What I mean is, he'll be 55 in 2 years, right? 60 in 7.

Seems funny to me that you imagine you'll be past all romantic and sexual interest at that age, but presumably don't think he will. 😁

Well, there’s a difference in libido between men and women, especially in the later half of life when women have gone through menopause and men still have a lot more testosterone…

And there’s a difference between maintaining romantic attraction to a partner you met when you were younger and have had for decades, vs losing said partner and starting over from scratch when you’re old. Don’t you think that would be daunting? I feel like I’d just compare every new man with DH and be dissatisfied, and that’s not really fair to prospective partners.

You literally have no idea what you'll feel like in 25 years or so. Nobody does. Heck, hit your 40s and you'll probably have a different perspective on your life.

Plenty of men lose interest sexually as they get older. The menopause doesn't necessarily mean the end of libido for women. Older people have sex-lives too and remarry after divorce or death. Several older widowers and widows in my family did.

It's just silly to me that you're all dramatic and "I could never love again!!" I'm sure it feels right to you now, but well, life and love happens.

I guess we’ll see

You still wouldn't be a lesbian because you have an innate sexual attraction to men. By definition you will never be a lesbian.

I do not agree

I reckon he’ll run off with the woman in her forties who he meets for massage and a roll around.

So he had a previous wife and has children OP… by any chance did he have an affair with 18 year old you when he was still married?

When you say you have slept with “TONS” of men… how many are we talking here op? Given you married at 18?

Your number one focus after your dd op needs to be making a friend. You don’t have a single friend in your life… that is not healthy on any level.

You are sexually attracted to men so you cannot just "be a lesbian".

I cannot be anything but straight as that's what I am.

Interesting thread though.

Doesn't matter whether you agree or not, you don't meet the definition of a lesbian if you are also attracted to men. It's fact, not opinion.

You can't just co-opt a sexuality.

You talked about "being fair to prospective partners" - does that only apply if they have penises?

You don’t have to agree. You’re wrong, categorically.

He doesn’t have any interest in her romantically. I have half-jokingly suggested we find ourselves a second wife, and he said “One woman is enough of a headache for me.” So I think he’s quite satisfied with me.

No; he was separated from his XW by then. They were living apart and sharing custody of his daughters.

I didn’t get married at 18. We married when I was about a week shy of 24.

With regards to sexual partners, I lost count somewhere in the 20s, but it’s probably in the 50s now… I did quite a bit of “exploring” in the couple years before I met DH. That’s why it’s almost comical when people suggest I didn’t know what I wanted and that he “groomed” me to like older men, as if I hadn’t tried out older men of my own accord, dated some, and slept with many, before I found the one for me.

>I cannot be anything but straight as that's what I am.

Right, but presently I am attracted to men and women. I suspect men who are not my DH will not be attractive to me if he dies before me. Therefore I would be attracted to women only, which means… functionally I would become a lesbian.