Anyone have experience of having a fling with a MUCH younger guy?

[aeroplaneoverthesea]

So I decided to change the age settings on Hinge and got messaged by a guy who’s a lot younger than me. I’ll be honest, he’s 21 and I’m 49. I’m not looking for anything serious and neither is he. We find each other very attractive and have really hit it off. Should I go there??? Have you been there???

I think females get a worse rep for this than men do tbh. I know men who've had affairs with people 20 years younger, left their wives and kids and are still accepted with no issue.

Maybe this bloke does have a kink, there are far more extreme ones that I'd find difficult to stomach but if everyone is consenting, it's legal and no one is getting hurt (although I guess for some that is the point of it), then each to their own.
I think we all assume that everyone is interested in the same things and we aren't so we shouldn't judge so harshly. No one is being groomed, they aren't in authoritative positions, it's OLD, personal choice.

I think you'd have to meet to know and I'd be conscious of not sending anything explicit or sexting until you have met as you could find it a turn off and regret sending such adult content to someone you subsequently find is too young.

I think females get a worse rep for this than men do tbh. I know men who've had affairs with people 20 years younger, left their wives and kids and are still accepted with no issue.

I think it’s super rare that this happens and nobody thinks the bloke is a bit seedy / gross for shagging someone 20 years their junior if that person is only just 20 / early 20s.

In most circles there would judgement of him, especially if he has kids close to the affair partner’s age, even if people aren’t hugely surprised as it’s not uncommon.

A guy I know as an acquaintance met a 19 year old when he was mid 50’s and most people found it disgusting and he definitely got a lot of judgement and lost friends over it.

They got married very quickly (after about a year) and she ended up leaving him for a man in his 20’s

Go for it, have fun, just don’t get romantically involved.

Errr no. And I say that as someone who has a dp 13 years younger than me. We have been together 12 years and he was 30 when we got together . 49 and 21 is way too much in my opinion.

@anytipswelcome just my own personal experience from acquaintances is that there has been far more judgement of females than the alternative.
But I should probably say that's just my own experience and not necessarily the norm.

Anyone man or woman over 30 messing with people under 25 is not ok. In any context.

Over 30 now?

When i was 22 , my boyfriend was 31.

My aunty met her husband when she was 23 and he was 35. They are happily married 30 years later.

Get a grip

Out of interest would you feel ok being out in public with him? Holding hands and kissing? Or would you just sneak him into your house?

Yuk. It’s a no from me. It’s clearly a no from you too otherwise you wouldn’t be asking!

Why do people have this opinion that a young man will be great fun? 😂

This. Been there, done it. Younger men are better at pleasing you, usually feminists and open minded. Older - set in their ways, big egos and not that entertaining.

I think this is a scam, sorry OP.

I’m married to a man 25 years older than me. I don’t see why it would be any different with the genders flipped. You might be a bit annoyed with any immature behavior or conversations that you don’t enjoy, if he’s not an exceptionally mature 21 year old. But if it’s just for sex… Why not?

He's young enough to be your son.

And yes, I'd be worried he's a scammer.

Were you as young as 21 when you met your husband?

I wouldn't think so, although not impossible ofc. Lots of men aren't especially fussy about age if it's just for casual sex. It's very likely he actually does find her sexually attractive. It is very unlikely he wants a relationship, but that doesn't mean he's a scammer.

It would certainly make me think twice about my opinion of a friend if they were to do something similar. Let's be honest if it were roles reversed and an 49 yr old guy and a 21 yr old woman then there would be all sorts of accusations put forward.

Younger, but an adult nonetheless.

I’m late 30s and if I met a man who was age 49 and said he'd recently been with a woman half my age I’d swerve.

Obviously she doesn’t need to disclose this information in future but it’s just gross.

Off topic but some of the things You
said in your other threads recently make so much sense now given how big the age gap is between you and your husband.

And what if he is lying about his age and is even younger? It’s not appropriate

Honestly, I don’t think our age gap impacts our interactions at all. I don’t really see any differences between us and age peer couples. Maybe the differences in our holiday preferences 😆

She could ask him to see ID