Anyone have experience of having a fling with a MUCH younger guy?

[aeroplaneoverthesea]

So I decided to change the age settings on Hinge and got messaged by a guy who’s a lot younger than me. I’ll be honest, he’s 21 and I’m 49. I’m not looking for anything serious and neither is he. We find each other very attractive and have really hit it off. Should I go there??? Have you been there???

Not quite that big of an age gap, no, and I still have regrets two decades later - even though it was just a fling because of our ages/life stages/we were both relocating in opposite directions fairly soon (he was finishing uni and I was moving away for a job) it was never likely to go anywhere. Intense attraction. I was 29 and he was 20, and I don't think either of us shared the existence of this fling with people. He definitely came across as more mature than 20, at the start at least...I'm glad that the relocating ended it though. Feels like a dirty secret now, but reflective of where I was at the time I guess. Prior to that I had a longer relationship with a man who was 16 years older than me - I found him very, very attractive but time revealed how immature he was really. Then I went for someone much younger! I was all over the place then I guess, time has made me realise that looking back. I'm not saying that is the case for all big age gap relationships - just mine.

I wouldn't go there OP. I'm only three years older than you now and I have a son who is approaching that age - so definitely, absolutely, not now! It felt icky and dirty enough when I was 29.

Have you met or is this just messaging so far?
I ask as there are a lot of men who have other goals with online dating ie sexting, naughty photos etc so it may lead to nothing. If it isn't a turn off for you then keep chatting and see as it might go nowhere.

I think it's personal preference and tends to depend on how you get along, how conversation flows, do you find each other attractive.
I've had a thing with someone 14 years younger (39 & 25) and actually he was the best at holding interesting conversation, possibly because we knew about different things and were keen to learnt things about each other. And I do seem to be interested in men younger than me (my experience of older men has been awful, they have been far more disrespectful, controlling, sexually explicit and tended to lie in some extreme ways....)
At 21 they are a grown adult so can make their own decisions and you can make yours.

I think if you are asking the question though, you either have concerns about it or want justification. And you won't get it here. You'll probably get responses from both sides so maybe you should think if that tells you what your subconscious thinks??

I wouldn’t. It’s not going to play out like you hope it will.

I'm only 34 and 21 year olds look like highschoolers to me.

Men are branded predators for smaller age gaps than this. I get that the power dynamic is different this way round but the fact that he was shitting in his pullups when you were ringing in 30 is still pretty rough.

The thought is gross to me, sorry. I have a 21 year old DS and I'm only 38. I do ordinarily like young men and my DH is younger but not that young!

Are any of these really relevant ? He's not thinking about a real relationship with you. It doesn't matter whether he's at Uni or a bin man 🤷‍♀️

Of course he’s buying his own house at 21 🤣 🤣

Surely you aren't sizing him up as a serious prospect?!

I dated several guys around 10 years younger when I was single, then ended up living with one of them and still together 11 years on.

I don’t think it’s a big deal to have a little fling with that much of an age gap, consenting adults and all that. Definitely keep him as an ‘indoor guy’ though!

Oh & my earlier post ,laughing emojis , not laughing in a mean way , laughing as in , I’d be taking that with a pinch of salt 😂 ..
Also , just bear in mind all the catfishing out there ..
I am straight , never been with a woman before , but find women attractive..
I wanted to have some girl fun & was chatting to a 29 year old , the biggest reservation I had was her age , she was lovely though , plus women are more mature than men ..
We exchanged phone number , lots of pics exchanged & conversation flowed & it’s just a bit of fun 🤷🏻‍♀️
Except for the Fact that she didn’t fucking exist !I was had 🙈..
Zero trace of “ her “ the following day , we chatted on WhatsApp so you have your profile pic there . I’m 49 & consider myself clever enough, just saying OP something to be aware of on line aswel ..

Have you met him? I matched with a man of 25 at 46 and it seemed fine over text, but once I met him in a pub then reality of how young he was hit me in the face and I couldn't continue, although I did date men of around 30 at the time.

Go for it.

I won't judge you. Just be careful and meet in a public place.

No its grim if my son slept with a woman your age id want to throw up...

We’ve not met. We’ve exchanged phone numbers and have been messaging. He sent me a photo of him at work (wanted me to see him in a suit 😆). I do think if I met him I might feel differently and run a mile (or he might when he sees me 😂).

And of course I’m not sizing him up as a suitable prospect 🙄 I’m just trying to convey why I like him. If he was banging on about gaming and text like a teenager I would’ve run a mile by now!

Be a sport and throw this one back. He’s a relative child in contrast to where you are in life. Do you really want to feel like a dirty old lady snatching a cradle?

No too creepy for me but you do you

Very creepy OP.

Please don't do this.
A woman round here had sex with a 16 year old. She was 40. She was ostracized within an inch of her life and actually lost her job over it in the end. The age difference is less than you are proposing.

He’s weird, you’re weird.

What in the world has messed up this 21 year old SO much that he wants to fuck someone his mum’s age?

And as the older woman? Have a word with yourself.

I don't think that's comparable. 16 is an actual child.

Oh calm down

It's a fallacy that young men can't make decent conversation. So much depends on the man, their interests, their education level. Just as much chance that you'll find nothing in common with an older man.
For the record, 26 and 52; didn't live with him though if that's your relationship goal.

Ive done it and it has been great.

Im 41. The last guy i dated was 24.

Fuck society and what they think. Its your life OP.

Older woman younger man can be a very good match

Absolutely beyond grim.

And agree with a pp - granny fetish and/or bet with his mates.

A 21 year old bloke isn't going to be genuinely interested in a woman pushing 50.