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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH has violent outbursts at himself

167 replies

Anonymous1011 · 16/05/2025 22:35

Name changing for this…
I think my DH of 5 years is pretty bad at emotional regulation.
Once in a while he will get so worked up he starts hitting himself in the head and sometimes will scream at himself too. He often does this when I am close by it seems and it makes me feel very unsafe. My heart starts racing and I feel very anxious.
I have previously been in a relationship with a physically abusive partner and whilst this isn’t the same, it kind of feels too similar.

DH has never physically harmed me and I don’t believe he would, but he seems so out of control in these moments it frightens me all the same.
I suggested he could tell me he is feeling this way and move himself to another room but he says this is unacceptable as what he is doing is self harm. He thinks I should be present and want to support him? But how can I support him if I am feeling scared by his behaviour?

I have suggested he seeks help or counselling but he just won’t. It is pointless me even suggesting it anymore at this stage.
we have no children so it is just me who witnesses these outbursts at least.

What is the right way to handle this, am I being unsupportive? I really don’t mean to be, but the feeling of fear is so palpable. And why is he doing this in the first place?

OP posts:
Etaerio · 19/05/2025 05:32

pikkumyy77 · 19/05/2025 02:09

@Etaerio ease stop. This false equivalence you are drawing between an abuser and someone who asks the abuser to stop is sickening. It is the tactic specifically taught by pick up artists, incels, MRA’s and assorted misogynists to bewilder and control women. There are reddit threads and tiktok’s teaching men how to reverse engineer the trauma/control wheel the way you are doing.

I am not appealing to your better nature. There is no way your comments are innocent or in good faith.

We see you.

Nice personal attack @pikkumyy77. I'm a decent person who doesn't swap labels about to justify my own behaviour while condemning the same by other people. I think it's hypocritical to do so. But you think it's OK?

pikkumyy77 · 19/05/2025 13:41

A chair and a table and a horse all have four legs—but they have different names and serve different purposes.

This is also the case with a person’s boundaries (this is treatment I won’t accept or I will leave) vs another person’s manipulative abuse (you must accept this treatment or I will injure myself or you). these two behaviors both have a superficial similarity —to you—but serve different functions and have different names —to the rest of us.

Confusedmeanderings · 19/05/2025 13:52

I really hope that counseling helps you

Etaerio · 19/05/2025 19:24

pikkumyy77 · 19/05/2025 13:41

A chair and a table and a horse all have four legs—but they have different names and serve different purposes.

This is also the case with a person’s boundaries (this is treatment I won’t accept or I will leave) vs another person’s manipulative abuse (you must accept this treatment or I will injure myself or you). these two behaviors both have a superficial similarity —to you—but serve different functions and have different names —to the rest of us.

So you think that threatening to leave someone if they suffer a mental illness is somehow a healthy and virtuous action. You're clearly not arguing in good faith anyway. Shame.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/05/2025 19:58

Etaerio · 19/05/2025 19:24

So you think that threatening to leave someone if they suffer a mental illness is somehow a healthy and virtuous action. You're clearly not arguing in good faith anyway. Shame.

Hold on, it’s possible you misunderstood my initial comment. I would leave as in the room, the place, the space with the harm happening. I’m not saying I would threaten to leave a relationship if someone did this.

I would leave the relationship, I just wouldn’t threaten it.

And to clarify, I’d leave the relationship because staying in an actively harmful relationship, whatever the cause of the harm, is a terrible idea. Someone who wants someone else to stay and witness their untreated self-harm is an abusive person. Whether they mean to be or not.

cestlavielife · 19/05/2025 21:07

You cannot stay with someone with a mental illness if it impacts you negatively
And they refuse to seek help
and they do not see it as an issue To be resolved
You have to leave for your own well being
If they seek help maybe you reconsider later

IdiottoGoa · 19/05/2025 21:16

Etaerio · 19/05/2025 19:24

So you think that threatening to leave someone if they suffer a mental illness is somehow a healthy and virtuous action. You're clearly not arguing in good faith anyway. Shame.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving someone with a mental health problem / illness if they are being abusive to you. Sometimes they behave like that because of their illness, sometimes because they’re simply not a nice person. But regardless, you do not have to put up with manipulation and abuse.

Sometimes staying in a relationship enables dysfunctional thought / feeling / behaviour patterns, but regardless that’s not the OP’s problem. She deserves a life in which she isn’t treading on egg shells in case her DH loses control.

TheFormidableMrsC · 19/05/2025 21:18

My autistic son does this. I’ve learned that it’s better to let him be and calm down in his own time. It is a form of self harm and never extends beyond him doing it to himself.

JLou08 · 19/05/2025 21:45

I'm autistic and had episodes like this when I was younger, it was out of my control and I never wanted to make anyone feel scared. So I do have empathy for your partner and couldn't say it is manipulative.
That said, it makes you feel scared and your mental health is no less important than his. You don't have to put up with it, you would not be wrong to prioritise your own mental health and end the relationship.
I did manage to work through my issues and haven't had an episode like that since I was in my early 20s. Your partner needs to either get professional help or figure our for himself what his triggers are and how to safely regulate his emotions.

IdiottoGoa · 20/05/2025 06:47

I think the difference between what some posters here are describing and OP’s situation is that he wants her to witness this and is following her to do it in front of her. These are not the actions of someone who is out of control. These are the actions of someone who is emotionally abusing her. But regardless, she doesn’t have to stay with someone who is making her feel scared and unsafe.

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 20/05/2025 09:10

OP, you may find the following post by Zawn Villines on the weaponizing of suicide threats by abusive partners useful. Your H is not threatening suicide but his self-harming acts are akin to it. Here are some snippets, I recommend to read the piece in whole:

"Abuse is fundamentally about control. And one of the most powerful ways to control someone who loves you is to threaten your own death. This is why abusers, especially abusive men, may weaponize their mental health, threatening suicide when they sense they are losing control...

If your partner threatens suicide every time you try to leave, or even every time you demand that he do a fair share of household labor, you are not alone. You are not the problem, and you’re not the abusive one...

Why abusers so often threaten suicide
Abusers may threaten suicide for a myriad of reasons. Sometimes, they have no intention of following through with the threat, and are wielding it as a deliberate and conscious act of control.

More often, though, they really are feeling suicidal. People who engage in abusive behavior have refused to learn how to safely manage their own emotions. So instead, they control their emotions by controlling others, and often by making others responsible for the abuser’s feelings.

When your abuser can’t control you, or finds their emotions overwhelming, they may feel hopeless. Remember, after all, that some portion of their identity and sense of worth comes from controlling you.

Abuse survivors often interpret an abuser’s suicide threats as a sign that the abuser is the victim, and that they need to lay off—by, for example, requesting less household labor. In reality, suicide threats from an abuser signal that he is either totally out of control or dangerously manipulative. ...

The dynamics of suicide threats—and why they can be so effective

Men who threaten suicide to get what they want are asking women to make a simple choice: your life or his. And patriarchy tells women we must always choose the man’s life over ours. It tells us we’re abusive monsters for even considering our well-being over his.

Suicide threats don’t have to be overt to work. I’ve spoken to hundreds of women who avoid taking certain actions—calling CPS or the police, divorcing their abusers, telling their husbands no, declining sex—because they fear their abusers may become suicidal...

It doesn’t matter whether he is genuinely suicidal or not. When he wields the threat to convince you to stay, talk to him, have sex with him, or otherwise give him what he wants, he is being abusive...

All threats of suicide are serious threats, even if he has a history of manipulation.

This is because there is simply no way to distinguish an earnest threat from an attempt at manipulation.

If he is earnest in his intentions, then he needs help you cannot give him. And he deserves that help, because everyone deserves a chance at redemption and healing. Ensuring he gets that help is an act of decency, not cruelty.

And if he is being manipulative, he’s much less likely to continue wielding this threat if you take it seriously and he has to answer to someone else about his behavior.

Call for emergency help every single time he threatens suicide. Document the threat. Continue to push for treatment and call emergency services.

Every. Single. Time.

A threat of suicide is not something you can fix for him, and the most loving and self-protective thing you can do is get him expert help."

zawn.substack.com/p/when-your-abuser-threatens-suicide

Anonymous1011 · 21/05/2025 08:49

I have read all the replies I hear and I’m so grateful for the advice and support.

I really wish I knew if he was behaving this way because he’s manipulative or if he is just troubled or unwell. I know it doesn’t really matter why…
But with my ex I eventually understood he was just full of rage and that it wasn’t my fault and it felt ‘easier’ to cut ties.
I feel guilty for thinking of leaving if it’s not his fault or worse it feels like I’m maybe the problem and I just can’t see it.

I feel so confused with my DH.
I feel unsettled by what happened recently and I don’t know if where it’s made me feel quite anxious, I’m now more reactive to everything at the moment.

My DH this week had asked me to see if one of my friends who lives abroad (we aren’t really close friends but we’ve known each other a long time) could buy him something which doesn’t ship to the UK.
So I asked, it was only for £25 including postage etc… My friend then said don’t worry about sending the money and buy him a drink next time we see him. Well that could be years and so I gently insisted that he let us send him the money.
When I explained to DH that I had to jokingly ‘twist my friends arm’ to allow us to pay him, he got annoyed at me saying why did I do that.
in truth I didn’t really want to ask this friend as I know he is very generous in nature and I knew he would likely not want the money back- But I’m just not comfortable with that especially as it was enough that it felt … too much. I thought DH would be glad to be able to pay… I could get it if we were closer or going to see him soon in which case we could just pay for dinner or something but that’s not the case.
I just feel like no matter what I’m doing it is wrong. He kind get overtly angry but it’s this more passive aggressive tone.

I am still waiting to hear from the counsellor but I’ll call them again today.

OP posts:
Anonymous1011 · 21/05/2025 09:15

That should have said he didn’t get overtly angry. Couldn't see how to edit my post

OP posts:
category12 · 21/05/2025 09:17

I really wish I knew if he was behaving this way because he’s manipulative or if he is just troubled or unwell.

One way to find out is call the emergency services next time he does it or threatens to do it.

Let's assume he's genuinely unwell.

Take his behaviour seriously - he's not getting help yet he keeps doing this.

You're not helping him by watching & supporting. You're enabling. If he won't get help himself, then get the professionals involved.

crackofdoom · 21/05/2025 09:27

Anonymous1011 · 16/05/2025 23:04

often times it could happen during a bad arguement he will get really frustrated, but most recently we both received some bad news whilst we were on holiday. I did my best to support him and try and reassure him as he felt he was to blame (which he wasn’t at all) he went into a pretty un talkative state and I decided I would leave him to it as I didn’t feel like I was helping. I had then gone to bed and he joined me and then he did this in bed, so very close to me. It made me jump and I felt very scared.

He says it is self harm and I shouldn’t ask him to do it privately, but I just feel it is a
bit different to some forms of self harm? I wish he would seek proper help as it doesn’t seem healthy for anyone. I said to him I don’t think he would be okay if I repeatedly displayed behaviour to him which made him feel unsafe.

The "un talkative state" could possibly be another pointer to ASD- selective mutism can be a trauma response in the neurodiverse.

BUT. Ignoring your partner's fear and discomfort at your reactions is never OK in a relationship. I recently dated someone with bipolar (and potentially some other stuff as well), and he had an episode where his behaviour frightened me (nothing violent as such, just a meltdown where he became hysterically insecure, repeatedly going "Am I enough? Tell me I'm enough!!" in a very agitated way). I told him he was frightening me, and- even when he had recovered- he held that against me, as if I was being cruel and insensitive by not handling his behaviour dispassionately, as a professional would. A relationship where one partner is not allowed to express their needs and feelings is no relationship, and it ended soon after.

Mental illness or trauma does not justify behaving however you want in front of your partner, and expecting it to have no effect on them. If he had consideration for your feelings, he would be apologetic and working on strategies to mitigate the effects of these meltdowns on you.

crackofdoom · 21/05/2025 09:43

GorillaJoe · 18/05/2025 08:46

Could he be autistic? The extreme lack of regulation and inability to understand the impact of his behaviour on others is very reminiscent of my autistic Ex. As is the ego centric point of view that you exist for what you can give to him.

Regardless of the cause of his behaviour, you should leave this relationship. This guy has serious issues of some kind. Leave him to them. He’ll drag you down with him. Believe that you matter enough to walk away from a relationship that will damage you.

Edited

This is your regular reminder that many, many autistic people are capable of empathy and consideration for others, and your ex being an abusive twat was not down to him being autistic, it was down to him being an abusive twat.

Sunflowers67 · 21/05/2025 10:49

I struggle with these type of feelings also - did I cause it, what if he is mentally ill and then I'm the bad person for not helping, but I love him and want to help him, I cant leave him how will he cope - this is from your 'training' with him and because you are a good, kind and respectful person. But this is not a normal, loving, mutually respectful relationship. Don't you deserve that?
You are not his carer, his mental health support worker, his therapist - you are supposed to be the one that he loves with everything that entails.
Is this how you want to live your life for the next lord knows how many years? Because he sounds unlikely to seek the help he needs.

Go and speak to your own GP - for you. Get people involved, tell them everything you have told us - once you have that additional support I am hoping that you will start to see the light on what he is doing to you and you will find the courage and strength to say 'no more'.

Of course it hurts, of course its scary, you will initially worry about him and what is happening with him - that's what you have been used to and it takes time to start worrying and caring about yourself again, but you will and you will wonder why you didn't do it sooner.

Hugs 😘

SamDeanCas · 21/05/2025 10:58

He’s not getting mad at himself, he’s just ‘getting mad’. Maybe he can’t help it, or maybe he’s doing it to punish you, but if he says it’s at himself then he can’t be accused of getting angry at you. The problem is, it has the same end result, which is you being upset, sacred and walking on egg shells so not to trigger him.

If it is uncontrollable, then he’d go and see someone about it, his GP or a therapist. By refusing to go, that’s him controlling it and ‘choosing’ to act like this. So don’t feel bad for thinking of leaving, he can control what he does about it.

newyearsresolurion · 21/05/2025 11:10

Instead of paying for therapy you could save and use that money to leave him then get therapy while you're free . You don't need a man to be happy

pikkumyy77 · 21/05/2025 11:23

Basically, even under the most generous reading, he thinks he can’t control himself so he demands you participate and help soothe him. This is the same as “I can’t walk upstairs so you need to carry me on your back.” This isn’t true: he can walk upstairs (when dealing with others). So not walking upstairs with you is a choice for his convenience or a preference. In reality he can walk upstairs, or he can use crutches, or take an elevator. He is not entitled to take over your body and muscles to do the work his own should do. And if he does force you to do the work his own muscles will atrophy. The more you enslave yourself to him the more dysfunctional he will become. This is what happens to parasitic creatures in the wild: the parasite attaches to a host and then the limbs or fins that brought them there atrophy and it remains stuck to the host, refusing to fend for itself.

You are not a bad person if you refuse this burden. You are in way over your head! This is just not appropriate as a level of care for you in this relationship. You are not a professional and he is incapable of truly benefiting and getting well.

candycane222 · 21/05/2025 11:32

Great post @pikkumyy77

Sodthesystem · 21/05/2025 12:27

But you're not his doctor or his therapist op so even if it's mental illness, there's nothing you can do. Why do you think his safety matters more than yours anyway?

Your safety has to come first. You can of course call him an ambulance next time he kicks off (he'll soon stop bullshitting if they find him to be wasting their time) but that's literally all you can do. It's not like you can physically stop him hurting himself.

But you can stop him hurting you, by leaving.

It's not being nice or empathy to stay. It is codependency. It doesn't make you a good person to tolerate abuse just because you don't want them to be sad. I use that word choice, because abuser trap you in a cycle of 'prove your goodness' (or: your loyalty, love, devotion, innocence, worth, compitance). But you'll never be good in their eyes. And that's the trap.

Lots of people say they don't want to leave because they worry for the abuser. But often they really mean by this - they worry what the abuser will make them feel about themselves if they leave. They worry that the abuser will make them feel 'selfish'. That the abuser may also tell other people that you are selfish. Basically about the stigma that may come with leaving if he is/tells people he is mentally ill. You need to get past that worry. And it's hard sometimes because they've trapped you in a vortex of that worry.

They target your sense of goodness and the values you carry at your core of being a kind, empathetic, moral person. And use them against you.

You need to change your self narrative from 'im an empath' to 'its ok to love myself too'. It's not morally wrong to do whatever you need to do to keep yourself physically safe. It doesn't make you a bad person. And if he says otherwise he is only doing so, in order to control you.

As for what others might think...the people who love you, know you and know you are a nice person. The opinions of those who think otherwise...who cares?

WartFace · 21/05/2025 12:46

Sodthesystem · 21/05/2025 12:27

But you're not his doctor or his therapist op so even if it's mental illness, there's nothing you can do. Why do you think his safety matters more than yours anyway?

Your safety has to come first. You can of course call him an ambulance next time he kicks off (he'll soon stop bullshitting if they find him to be wasting their time) but that's literally all you can do. It's not like you can physically stop him hurting himself.

But you can stop him hurting you, by leaving.

It's not being nice or empathy to stay. It is codependency. It doesn't make you a good person to tolerate abuse just because you don't want them to be sad. I use that word choice, because abuser trap you in a cycle of 'prove your goodness' (or: your loyalty, love, devotion, innocence, worth, compitance). But you'll never be good in their eyes. And that's the trap.

Lots of people say they don't want to leave because they worry for the abuser. But often they really mean by this - they worry what the abuser will make them feel about themselves if they leave. They worry that the abuser will make them feel 'selfish'. That the abuser may also tell other people that you are selfish. Basically about the stigma that may come with leaving if he is/tells people he is mentally ill. You need to get past that worry. And it's hard sometimes because they've trapped you in a vortex of that worry.

They target your sense of goodness and the values you carry at your core of being a kind, empathetic, moral person. And use them against you.

You need to change your self narrative from 'im an empath' to 'its ok to love myself too'. It's not morally wrong to do whatever you need to do to keep yourself physically safe. It doesn't make you a bad person. And if he says otherwise he is only doing so, in order to control you.

As for what others might think...the people who love you, know you and know you are a nice person. The opinions of those who think otherwise...who cares?

Edited

I think the concept of ‘an empath’ is extremely dangerous. It takes people pleasing to a new level. I’ve heard it said that there’s no such thing: there are just traumatised people who are hyper vigilant. ‘Empath’ is not a badge of honour.

Sodthesystem · 21/05/2025 12:48

WartFace · 21/05/2025 12:46

I think the concept of ‘an empath’ is extremely dangerous. It takes people pleasing to a new level. I’ve heard it said that there’s no such thing: there are just traumatised people who are hyper vigilant. ‘Empath’ is not a badge of honour.

Absolutely agree.

It's a nonsense pseudo science term.

The people using it are either victims of trauma they haven't healed from (TBF often in childhood so, it would be very difficult to heal as they've been hypervigalent to others feeling their whole lives).Or, narcissists, of course.

I'm for labeling abusers, not normal people with empathy.

But lots of people like the term unfortunately.

WartFace · 21/05/2025 12:51

Sodthesystem · 21/05/2025 12:48

Absolutely agree.

It's a nonsense pseudo science term.

The people using it are either victims of trauma they haven't healed from (TBF often in childhood so, it would be very difficult to heal as they've been hypervigalent to others feeling their whole lives).Or, narcissists, of course.

I'm for labeling abusers, not normal people with empathy.

But lots of people like the term unfortunately.

Edited

I think it’s often virtue signaling. Self importance. Look at me, aren’t I kind. Yuck.

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