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Original poster

advice about a man

155 replies

juliet111 · 19/05/2008 22:30

I think I can guess what you're all going to say before I write this...I have been a single parent for 4 years since my son was a baby. I have only had one relationship in that time as I hardly ever get the chance to go out as my son's father lives miles away and doesn't see him. I really miss sex (and a relationship) but sex mostly! On Saturday I went out with a friend who has a 16 year old who babysits for us sometimes and met a man who is a friend of hers.

My friend had been trying to set me up with this man for ages. Anyway, had a few drinks and went back to his...had great sex and a really nice time. I do have some reservations such as I think he's tight with money but to be honest it was just so nice to be with someone I fancied and who fancied me.

Spent Sunday with him and he said a few things about seeing me again - 'such as next time I'll make sure I shave properly...' I had to text him and he said 'I have your number now' so I said 'well call me' and he said he would. He also said he was quite shy (I can come across as not at all shy and quite demanding but am shy really) But we didn't make arrangements to meet up and I'd really like to know whether to text him - just say I had a good time or leave him ...???

OP posts:
madamez · 21/05/2008 15:35

Pixiepip: try taking that horsehair tampon out, you'll feel so much better.

Twinkie1 · 21/05/2008 15:38

Oooohhh text him and ask him if he would like a no strings shag or ask him if he would like to apply for the position of your Fuck Buddy! Obviously followed by a cheeky wink!

I would ove to be brave enough to but in RL and a big cowardy custard!

getmeouttahere · 21/05/2008 17:19

Pixie, I am not siding with madamez here, but you have stated MORE THAN ONCE on this thread that you are not making a moral judgement.

Methinks you doth protest too much

I see quite clearly that this way of handling a fledgling relationship is not to your choice, but I feel your wording is just a tad too strong on the moralistic front.

Perhaps you should leave it if you really can't see how this type of connection can work for some people and some times in their life.

pixiepip · 21/05/2008 17:36

getmeoutofhere?

WHICH way of handling a fledgling relationship? The OP hasn't found a way to handle it- if she had, she wouldn't be asking !

Are you saying that if i don't agree with some of the posters, then I should shut up? Or am I allowed to have my own view OF WHAT WOULD WORK FOR ME?

I don't know why I bother with Mn TBH- it is full of people who just like to rant and have a go at each other.

Original poster
juliet111 · 21/05/2008 19:44

Pixiepip - I see your point. I just don't thinks it's that simple. For me it's very difficult to go out to meet people. As a single parent, it costs me about £20 for a babysitter plus the cost of actually going out and I can't afford it often (about every 3 weeks). Plus 90% of the men I meet are attached. So it really isn't easy to meet anyone.

I'm not saying this kind of relationship would be my ideal, just as sex the first time I meet someone isn't either but as an alternative to being on my own all the time, it's alot better!

OP posts:
turquoise · 21/05/2008 19:56

So has he called? Have you texted him?

I would do Dior's text (she's GOOOOOD at this) and absolutely leave it there if he doesn't respond.

Amazed at all the analyzing going on by some on this thread - whatever happened to just going with the flow! It's one date fgs.

getmeouttahere · 21/05/2008 20:00

Nope, definately no ranting and raving. I merely pointed out, quite calmly and logically I thought, that you were, contrary to your protestations, being rather judgemental.

Of course I would not expect everybody to agree with everything. That would be boring.

Original poster
juliet111 · 21/05/2008 20:12

No he hasn't called so it doesn't look like he will. I don't know if I will text or not yet.

OP posts:
gracepaley · 21/05/2008 20:13

Have you texted him yet?
Am with Lou and Electra. Can't stand the idea that women have to be passive.
It's WEDNESDAY, you are hardly stalking him.

macdoodle · 21/05/2008 20:29

Yes of course chase him text him why not maybe he's married

Original poster
juliet111 · 21/05/2008 20:39

no he's not married.

OP posts:
macdoodle · 21/05/2008 20:48

ok sorry bit prickly tonight just wondered if thats why he had gone quiet - I wouldn't bother TBH (have you read the book "he's just not into you")...??

Original poster
juliet111 · 21/05/2008 20:54

I don't think I will text him. I don't think it's that he's not into me. I think it's because it was a one night stand though. I hope we bump into each other again sometime and maybe something will develop in the future.

OP posts:
SlartyBartFast · 21/05/2008 20:56

aww
i think you should

Original poster
juliet111 · 21/05/2008 21:37

I think it's a shame too but I also think he would have got in touch if he'd wanted to and we left it that he'd call and he hasn't.

OP posts:
EnidBlyton · 21/05/2008 21:44

oh, he's meant to ring you?

bastard

MissingMyHeels · 21/05/2008 21:46

Men are just as scared (if not more so) of rejection than women IME. Text him, you have nothing to lose, you know he is shy... so what if he ignores you, you put yourself out there and in my opinion that's a brave thing to do.

He may be in the pub having exactly the same conversation as you. Don't let opportunity pass you by! My DP started out as a casual fuck buddy a few years ago and after a few months we had totally fallen for eachother.

Go on, text!!!!!

electra · 21/05/2008 21:56

Oh Juliet - I really think you should text him. He certainly wouldn't have done the bacon thing if he wasn't into you...

Original poster
juliet111 · 21/05/2008 21:58

He said he was really shy, that he never normally did what we did - I know it sounds like a line but I believe him. In fact at first it was really awkward, we more or less slept with our clothes on. It wasn't until the morning that things got better. So I believe that he is shy. But it would still be easier for him to send a text seeing as he said he would call than for me to.

OP posts:
MissingMyHeels · 21/05/2008 22:09

Men don't always think like we do, my DP is always saying he'll call me later (when he's at work) but he doesn't. He may have said it with genuine intent at the time but forgotten he'd said it. You're over analysing, text him!

Please

lucylue · 21/05/2008 22:11

juliet111,
i quickly read through your thread.
you said at the beginning that you met him through a friend of yours.
can you get some info from her what kind of person he is. is he shy or not or whateverelse .
one thing took my attention without knowing him well, some men think if a woman sleeps with them at first night, they think they are easy, and see them as only one night stand.
he doesnt know you, does he? did he get info about you from your friend?
you didnt have sex very long time, so its absolutely normal for you to have sex with him, but can he understand that?
anyway good luck its so hard to meet a nice man isnt it?

lucylue · 21/05/2008 22:16

or maybe he is still thinking what to do.
i would give him 1 week to wait till he contacts.

EnidBlyton · 21/05/2008 22:17

perhaps he is on an internet forum, agonizing over it, do it later in the week

Dior · 21/05/2008 22:20

Message withdrawn

Dior · 21/05/2008 22:23

Message withdrawn