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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

advice about a man

155 replies

juliet111 · 19/05/2008 22:30

I think I can guess what you're all going to say before I write this...I have been a single parent for 4 years since my son was a baby. I have only had one relationship in that time as I hardly ever get the chance to go out as my son's father lives miles away and doesn't see him. I really miss sex (and a relationship) but sex mostly! On Saturday I went out with a friend who has a 16 year old who babysits for us sometimes and met a man who is a friend of hers.

My friend had been trying to set me up with this man for ages. Anyway, had a few drinks and went back to his...had great sex and a really nice time. I do have some reservations such as I think he's tight with money but to be honest it was just so nice to be with someone I fancied and who fancied me.

Spent Sunday with him and he said a few things about seeing me again - 'such as next time I'll make sure I shave properly...' I had to text him and he said 'I have your number now' so I said 'well call me' and he said he would. He also said he was quite shy (I can come across as not at all shy and quite demanding but am shy really) But we didn't make arrangements to meet up and I'd really like to know whether to text him - just say I had a good time or leave him ...???

OP posts:
Dior · 20/05/2008 22:54

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juliet111 · 20/05/2008 22:56

The thing is I don't think he is like that with lots of women. Partly from other people and things he has said. It could be true that my emotions are involved as I said but that doesn't stop me wanting to sleep with him again...

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pixiepip · 20/05/2008 22:57

why was he cycling from your friend's house anyway? don't understand?

Dior · 20/05/2008 22:57

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madamez · 20/05/2008 22:57

Pixiepip: well your agenda seems to be that women should only trade sex for a 'relationship' and that all men are beasts!

juliet111 · 20/05/2008 22:59

Pixiepip - because we went from his house to meet my friend in a pub near her house as she had looked after my son overnight. He had left his bike at my friend's house. He then cycled back to his house (about 1/2 mile) to get more money to buy bacon which he cooked at my friend's house...!!!

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pixiepip · 20/05/2008 23:00

I just hope he treats you well.

How would you feel if he found a "better lay" and just dumped you? or if he found someone he connected with on all levels?

You are going for this now because you are starved of sex, but in time, you will want more - believe me.

Dior · 20/05/2008 23:02

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juliet111 · 20/05/2008 23:02

that is all true, but he hasn't been in touch and I haven't contacted - that is what I am asking about

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pixiepip · 20/05/2008 23:02

madamez- you have a fertile imagination. Nothing that I have written gives any foundation for those claims.

I don't need to defend or explain my feelings over sex- and you shouldn't be so aggressive.

Are you just attention seeking?

fairyfly · 20/05/2008 23:03

I just know a lot of men say, i'll have a shave next time and be all cute and charming.......it's a line.

Dior · 20/05/2008 23:05

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juliet111 · 20/05/2008 23:05

Some women can cope with only a sexual relationship but generally I'm not one of them. I just do feel that some good sex with someone is better than none at all. I feel I am wasting my life spending every evening (while I am still relatively young and attractive) on my own.

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Dior · 20/05/2008 23:08

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juliet111 · 20/05/2008 23:12

thanks for your advice, I do appreciate it. I feel like texting to say thanks for the bacon sandwiches, not only did he cycle to get it but he also cooked it in my friend's house (while she was out!) - all a bit strange really...he did make a comment (joking that i was demanding, and I know I can be.

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Dior · 20/05/2008 23:13

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juliet111 · 20/05/2008 23:15

I felt that the same...about him liking me. The trouble is what do I do if he doesn't get in touch, I hate being the one to get in touch.

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jasper · 20/05/2008 23:15

Text him.
He's shy

Dior · 20/05/2008 23:16

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juliet111 · 20/05/2008 23:17

one more thing that was really nice about him was he walked back to the pub with me to see if my son's light sabre had been left there! because I couldn't go in with my son as it was after 6pm. I thought that was really nice of him.

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juliet111 · 20/05/2008 23:19

Jasper by the way - I assume you're a man (with a name like Jasper). It would be interesting to have a man's opinion.

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Dior · 20/05/2008 23:24

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juliet111 · 20/05/2008 23:28

If I do send him a text I'd say something like; ' I just wanted to say that it was really nice of you cycling to go off to get us bacon and then cooking for us. I had a really nice time on saturday. It's ok if for you it was just a one night stand but I still wanted to let you know that I had a good time'

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Dior · 20/05/2008 23:31

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juliet111 · 20/05/2008 23:35

yes you're right...

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