In what circumstances does a father get full custody of his child?

[athenaswrath]

Hi,

I was just wanting to know the answer to this question, the father of my child who is a complete narcissist and bully has stated to the judge yesterday that he going for full custody of our child after trying to prove I was mentally unstable which didn’t work and I was granted permission to take our daughter abroad. He is using everything he can which is very little to try and make my life as difficult as possible. I’ve got another court case after my holiday and he has stated he wants her full time or if not full time 50/50 (make up your mind)

This bloke has put me through hell the last 2 years and he’s really affected me mentally. As you can imagine trying to co parent with a narcissist is unbelievably hard.

He is also going to use my eldest son as a means of getting her too he has said she is unsafe round him and he worries about her round him because my eldest has a diagnosis of ADHD and is being assessed for ASD he has in the past been verbally aggressive and has put holes in my walls from his outbursts, he did two years ago accidentally break his younger brothers arm when play fighting but social come round and that case was closed. He is not a threat to our daughter he absolutely adores her but this is one of the things he will use in court. He has tried to make me look mental and like I am unstable too because I suffer with depression and anxiety.

I know I have a huge battle coming up and need to prepare for the vicious lies he’s going to attack me with. I just need some advice if possible please.

If the mother has a serious mental disorder, lives a chaotic lifestyle, is involved in criminal activity or has drug/alcohol addiction. Basically anything that could endanger the children.

I’m none of those things. I’m sure he will make some crap up though.

If he makes false accusations you can request a fact finding. The judge will often appoint a clinical psychologist to interview you, your ex and the children separately. Medical records may be requested, or any records from police involvement for example. Cafcass will also speak to the children to determine their wishes, though their opinions hold more weight at the age of 12+

It is near on impossible for a parent to get full custody without good reason and proof.

It will be in regards to our daughter who is 2 and she’s not able to talk properly yet. The other 3 children are not his would they still want to talk to them? As the other 3 don’t concern him as he is not there father.

In that case I can't imagine a court asking for anyone to be involved in terms of speaking to your DD with her being so young. They would not speak to your other children as this residency battle doesn't concern them.

It may be that this just has to go to a fact finding if different accusations are being thrown around.

It’s going to be basically him trying to prove I’m an unfit mum and that our daughter is in danger then. Without any reports from SS or Child protection I don’t see how he will be able too because I’ve never had any of them involved because of abuse or neglect as I am not like that.

Really don't worry. My first husband bust a gut to do this. The judge sees right through all this crap. In the end my ex was banned from seeing DS completely because it was considered that he was making our lives a misery.
They have seen all this before.
All you have to do is be a good mum state the facts and carry on.
My ex bugged my house took photos of me wherever I went and photographed me shopping. Apparently I was an alcoholic because I bought a bottle of wine.
But be warned, however tempting don't have another relationship while this is going on. They often take a dim view of new partners being introduced whilst all this is going on.
It isn't fair but they do.

I have been single since October 2023 and I still do not plan on finding anyone else 😂 I am well and truly put off honestly! There is no concerns there. I hope they do it’s just very overwhelming and stressful isn’t it? It’s just not a nice thing to go through especially as it’s just unnecessary too.

If he's lost his Job etc I'm wondering if he's pushing for full custody for the purposes of benefits

He won't have a hope of full custody. No drugs and alcohol, no abuse, no ss involvement. At most he'd get 50/50. I'd concentrate on arguing why not 50/50...his accommodation, your dd staying with her brother etc

100% this! I know it’s this.

yeah 50/50 isn’t reasonable either because of the way he is, his accommodation is definitely not suitable for her it’s very small like very small her room which would be her room is tiny it would just fit a bed and a small chest of drawers in there. The whole block is full of drug users and stuff too because he’s told me.

I’m not sure he would get them though as she’s my 4th child and has been born after the child tax date for a 4th child.

@athenaswrath is she his first? Then he might try to contest or apply for the child benefit (whether you're paid it or not), then he has access to any benefits

It is just SO stressful and unnecessary and your ex is cutting off his nose to spite his face. It's all revenge and not thinking about the actual child.
This will not go unnoticed by the court.
Best of luck and hang on in there. You will be OK. See your GP if the stress gets too bad. Nobody will judge you for that.

Yeah she is his first.

Well that’s one of the things he is stating, my mental state is apparently ‘unstable’