Would a used condom still be wet one month later?

[Worriedsickhelpplease]

Help I moved with my fiance to a new house about a year ago. He never sold our old house but some furniture is still there. We sometimes go to our old house after date night for some sexy time as our kids are being cared for at the new house. We have been together 20 years and its rare we use a condom. What i found by the bed in the corner on the floor was a condom still wet but appears no semen. I used a condom over a month ago with him. My question is i am not sure if this is out condom i found as im sure we tossed it. I am trying to find out if you think a month old condom used out of packaging would still feel wet and oily? The next day when he was at work i went back to th old house and went through the trash hoping to find a green condom wrapper from the one we had used, but it was not there. Since we no longer live there daily there is a huge cardboard box we use as the trash and its mainly just to toss junk mail or paper products. I have not used condom in so long i honestly dont remember if one would still feel wet and oily after one month out of the packaging..please help im so worried.

Just seen your update and pic. Need to delete this thread.

The pic has been removed

The rest is pretty grim tbh.

That's one hell of an update!!
You need more than MN can offer right now, please talk to a professional.
You're in a relationship with a cheating, abusive, rapist.

I didn't see the picture, probably just as well.

I dont own or am listed as a owner of either house he puts them in his parents names. I asked him for myself protection to sign a letter that i reside in the home to each oke we moved to , but he says he can not do that . Its because if there is a disagreement he likes to tell me if i dont like it to get out. He knows i have no where to go or family besides him and my children. I have saved a lot as i got a full time job teaching. The very sad and hurtful thing is that i really felt last year he was not being honest about some things with me. I received a work tax document from where i work with his last name on it. Human resources never gave me a clear reason how the mistake happened and he told me he swore he did not use my social security number. I paid a private investigator for a background check and found a womans name pop up as one of his relatives. He only has a mom, dad, and brother no aunts or cousins he ever mentioned . When i could no longer hide it i confrontated him. I found out very shocking that when we met he was married and he was wity her at the same time he was with me .for 17 years of our relationship he has been still in contact with her and he claims he never loved each other or did anything together. He claims he married her for document to be a citizen. It was all so hurtful and i lost a lot of trust because of these events. I am really in a routine, love him as as we get along well, but he puzzles me as he seems to have no remorse to lead a double life. I douby he has cried a single tear or felt any regret. I am supposed to just get over it as he says.

I always love these suggestions. Rarely in the history of man has a bloke held his hands up and said it's a fair cop, I was cheating.

LTB

Oh gosh just seen these updates.

The condom is the least worrying thing now. Get out. Now. Today. This evening. This is abuse and you need to get away from this man.

Go to the council. Explain the situation and explain you need housing for you and your children. You may be put in a bnb for a time but its better than this.

I'm so sorry OP

OP he sounds like a total fake! How could he lie to you about all of those things? If I were you I wouldn't trust a single word out of his mouth.

It's great that you have your savings, make sure they are in your name and no joint accounts. I'd say you're better off away from this man.

Wow op, your last two posts are really hard to read. I am very sorry you are going through this and for everything your partner said and did to you. The used condom you found should be the least of your worries. You say you love your husband and you want to keep your marriage, but from the little you told us, it seems that you live in a very abusive marriage and my advice to you is to seek help to leave, sooner rather than later. Good luck and all the best to you.

That was so sad to read. Leave him as soon as possible. What a disgrace of a man. He's broken you down for so long, time to find yourself, I'm sure you have alot of inner strength to get yourself into a better place. It might be hard but it will be enormously worth it.

Leave him, he’s vile.
Get yourself out of the house, with the children as soon as you possibly can. Do you have family or friends you can stay with in the interim, while you look for a rental property?
Sending price thoughts your way.

You deserve so much better than this.

You have far far bigger issues than this condom OP.

But I am curious as to why his name isn't on the BC of your 4 children together?

Please contact Women's Aid or a local organisation that can help you get away and restart your life, e.g. Solace if you're in London. I'm so pleased to hear you're not married, you have a solid job and cash in the bank - this will massively help you.

Thank you everyone 💓 i really appreciate your wise advice. I did gather the courage, my kids and a uhual truck 2 years ago and we were headed to a domestic abuse shelter. Its really tough because my son was 17 and a half and many said he was not welcome or the shelters were full. One finally accepted us and my little dogs as well. We made quite far, and i did a very good job not answer his phone calls. Before we left i do know he was taking pills for high blood pressure. He tricked us all and sent a photo that appeared like he took it himself but he was not in it if a hospital. He lied in a text saying he was going to have a stroke. I was angry and doing by best not feel sympathy but that got me to pull over and call. Well one thing led to another and everyone was in tears and begging me to give daddy one more chance. I did and turned back. One thing was very puzzling to him he could not understand what we were driving. Its because i bough a used car and kept it hidden in the neighborhood from him. He loves me to drive his car only but i didn't want to i realize he is controlling me and he puts gps tracker in his cars. Sadly he sabotage my car that i told him he was not allowed to touch for fear of him putting a tracker, but he did anyway when k went out of town to visit my sick grandmother. My son found this it fell from under the wheen area connected to wires. I made anonymous reports but so far nothing has been done. Im sure they can trace it to my boyfriend who is probably seeing my wherabouts on his cell phone. I do not dare confront him about it as it is something he thinks i am in the dark about. He could easily put another without my knowledge in a harder place to find. He hates my car as its something i bought with my money and he calls it a piece of shit because its old. Its a good car that is all that matters to me and my name is on all the documents. I posted a image of the tracker device just in case you are like me and had no clue what they looked like.

A week after we came thought about that hospital photo and asked him to see the discharge paperwork . He laughed and told me it was a trick and he never went to the hospital it was a image he took a screen shot off the internet. That made me feel very sad that he could just manipulate us all like its no big deal. I kept up working and trying to get rid of extra things we do not need so when the time comes easier to pack and leave.

Have you had the car checked over to make sure it's safe to drive? Bring it to a garage, and if you can afford it, rent a garage (but you'd have to keep the keys outside your house). Or even explain at the garage to see how they can help you.

You're having a really tough time.

You said in your posts that you teach full time.
Wow!
Does your Head and snr management know what you're going through?

I can't imagine working as a teacher f/t with all this going on.

How are you coping?

Are you in the UK?

The timing of your posts - middle of the night UK time- seems unusual, especially if you're having to get up to school to teach in the morning.

Good idea to bring it to a car repair shop. My check engine light came on so I suspect it has something to do with it. I never told my boss about what is happening because i feel like she may want to fire me. She may think i have too much stress and can not handle my job. I am a expert at leaving my troubles at home when i go to work. just like to live a ordinary life, with a predictable routine. He caused me a lot of chaos, confusion, sadness, shame, etc . I looked at the condom and it is shrinking down further so now i have my answers that i was cheated on. My heart breaks but i want to take what little dignity i have left and move to a new chapter in my life and move on. Im a busy mom and doing the majority of the parenting anyway so it wont make much of a difference..i will just cry at night when i no longer hear him come home or have him to hold when i fall asleep. Its very sad and selfish what he did, he can not blame me because i am very beautiful and even had surgery by his request. He kept making fun of my stomach and lifting my boobs to say how saggy they were ..i finally gave in and took him up on his offer and got a breast lift and tummy tuck. It was a very very painful and long recovery but it made me more shapely and clothes fit better. In the end he cheated so it didn't matter . I went to sleep very early , i even almost fainted at the grocery store. Its a lot when you still want to hang on, but know its the right thing to do and cut your losses because the person you love keeps letting you down. He is not even a good friend, because friends don't back stab each other over and over like he has with me.

Well i guess the condom of its used as it did out turns from transparent to opaque.... it's now about 5 days later you can see the difference

I think it was used and then pulled off during the act since it had no semen inside 😔

I think you're hyper focusing on the condom because the rest of the awful things he does are just too difficult to face. Are you considering contacting a helpline? If English isn't your first language, there is culturally sensitive help available. We can help you find that if it's all too much right now.

I'm sorry you went through those surgeries.

Re your work, most managers would be supportive or neutral. Maybe tell her you have some family stress and see how she responds. Firing seems a bit weird, unless you work in the kind of place with shit management and a high turnover (usually retail, supermarkets etc)

Gosh, you poor woman. What a vile pig this man is. There are loads of organisations who will help you to leave, try contacting Women's Aid to start with. I'm so sorry for everything you have been put through by him, you will be so much happier - and safer - once you're away from his presence.

He's a dishonest, unfaithful, abuser and rapist to boot. There is nothing to live in relation to this man.

Leave. You will be better in temporary, emergency housing.