DH backing out of holiday again.

[Shouldibefedup]

so we NEVER get a holiday booked - DH too busy, worried about work etc. it’s always booked last minute, and is therefore stressful, too expensive and generally crap.he PROMISED at his year would be different and we’d go somewhere long haul and amazing as it’s the last year probably, with teen.

so now we finally have the money, he suddenly says,as he does every year, he’s too busy at work, he is worried he’ll get fired or something like this. He has to wait to find out x or arrange y. He is too busy to arrange it, we haven’t got the money what if he loses his job.
to be fair he is the main earner, and he has a difficult boss but he’s told teen we are going on this amazing holiday. We haven’t been anywhere apart from a week last year to stay with friends.
i find then that I can’t look for holidays as he will step in and change everything I’ve thought of at the last minute, so now like last year, I’m mentally stuck.
help!

Why not just book something and if he can’t make it, you and ds go. I know it’s potentially losing money if dh can’t/wont go, but you can’t keep on cancelling trips due to his job.

If his boss is so crap why isn’t he looking for another one elsewhere?

Ultimatum time and if he’d rather not go thenyou and teen go.seriously it won’t change! I had a workaholic dh for years before we finally went on holiday without the fear of last minute cancellation.

Go on your own with your child.

Life is short. Way too short for this kind of crap.

Book the holiday and leave him home. Dh and I often go off on separate holidays with the dc for practical reasons (one of us often needs to be at home so we can’t both go). I’ve had many fab holidays with both of mine. They still talk about those holidays years later and no one cared that Dh (or in some cases, I) wasn’t there.

It’s not on for all of you to suffer because he has a difficult boss. He’s entitled to annual leave just like everyone else (unless he is self employed which definitely makes things harder). If you have joint finances I’d be tempted just to tell him you’re going to book and pay for it anyway, reminding him that he promised he’d step up this year

if all else fails do something more low key just with your dc instead.

Btw when I was growing up my mum was terrible at travel so it was always just me and my df. It was great.

Book without him. If he is miffed just say you knew he'd back out. Go have a fab time. I'd probably forget to ring him too - after all he'll be too busy. Or spell out it's great he has so much cash he can pay for the divorce and cms. An absent dh /df are pointless ime. I raised 3 ds's who never knew their df.. We were married.. As adults guess how many have seen him since early teens?
None..

Go with you and your ds. Let him miss out on memories with his family. Don’t you both miss out because he can’t possibly take a week or two off work (which he’s entitled to without fear of losing his job) it’s just bullshit excuses, it is

How unattractive. A man who is too scared to insist on the very basic employment rights he has. Why is he even working for this company?

Just say, No you aren’t prepared to short change the family again, and you are going to book something, without him. He can pay for flights at the last minute to join if he wants.
Definitely do not give him this power over you.

For goodness sake, just book it. Tell him he agreed, the teen has been told, the money has been saved so you are booking it, he isn’t making any changes other than deciding whether or not he comes with.

Ho on your own with your teen. I would. This situation is absurd. He isn't that important at work. Sounds like he's a workaholic.

Go on your own, I often took our DC without DH as he couldn't get away from work (own business). We had fab times, and once you've done it once it gives you more confidence. And funnily enough, we all relaxed a lot quicker away as we weren't waiting for DH to wind down which he often needs to. Take the time whilst your teen is still willing.

Surely he gets annual leave?

So find out when it is and book a holiday for those dates.

If he can’t come and won’t tell his boss no, then that’s his issue.
If he can’t make it or needs to come for a shorter amount of time, then so be it.

His child shouldn’t miss out because he don’t stand up to his boss.

I’ve never had a boss where they’ve agreed to my AL and then refused it later on.

I book my time off work and my holiday accommodation a year in advance so I'm afraid I'd be going without him. I'd also be looking to change job if I had a boss who was so precious about me taking the annual leave I'm entitled to! Your husband is heading for mental burnout if he carries on like this.

Just book, with or without him.

Maybe say ‘ok we have promised teen we would do this hol and it might be the last hol with teen, so I’ll go ahead and book. It would be nice to have a family hol , and by law you are entitled to holiday so it would be nice to do this as a family . So Shall I book for all 3 and you cancel if you can’t make it, or book for teen and I and you get a ticket later if you can come?

Don’t let your son keep missing out because your husband is a selfish bastard. Tell him you are booking the holiday and he can just stay home if he doesn’t want to go.

Just go with your child.

One year DH promised to take October half term off work and spend time with us and then he came home and said he had to go to a conference. I took the DC away and we all had a great time and still talk about it years later.

Agree with PP: book the holiday and go without him if he can’t make it.

I agree with those saying to go without him. However, for me that does depend on whether or not you're expecting him to pay for it all?

An awful boss won’t respect him more for not taking a holiday. He’ll just think he’s a doormat.

Is there a reason that you can't go with just DS?

Obviously DH is a doormat! What annual leave does he get? He clearly doesn’t respect you or DS. Now is the time for an ultimatum. Book as a family or you go with DS. Why is he such a crap parent?

Your DH isn’t your ‘boss’, so find a holiday yourself, ask your DH if he wants to come along and if he dithers, then book it for yourself and your teen.

Don't allow yourself to be controlled.