I love my husband so much.

[SkippityWooBah]

There are so many negative threads on here I thought I would start a positive one.

Been with my DH since 15 years old, together 25 years. He's gorgeous, kind, funny. Always been faithful. A wonderful father. Really takes care of me, in every way possible.

I was lay with him last night and just wondered how I could still love him SO MUCH after 25 years.

Of course there have been hard times but we have always got through them together and I'm so grateful for him.

@GreenwayHouse I think you may have missed that this thread has been started in direct response to another (since deleted my MNHQ) where a 26yo woman studying for a PhD stated that she felt sorry for married women and that they were all by and large idiots to tie themselves to a man, given what she has read on MN.

This thread, and the PPs, are simply offering a place to provide some balance to that view. Many, many women are happy in their relationships and navigate the usual ups and downs without issue. But the minority of women who are not happy, who are having issues come here. It’s a great resource for women/mothers needing support but it’s not representative of many women’s experiences.

If you missed that, then your tone may have been seen as snarky, but hopefully you can see that some women really ARE fed up the with the narrative that because a minority of dickhead males are discussed here, it means all men are likely arseholes when the opportunity arises and thus women who are married are stupid. Most men are fine, most women are happy enough with their partners, most people regardless of sex can be dickheads.

Sounded very very bitter to me.

This thread brings two things to my mind, my first love who I loved like crazy and had all of those first deep emotions with but ultimately it didn’t work out and secondly my husband who is warm, funny, dependable and generally just a wonderful man and very hot to boot that I will love to my death bed.

Another one here. First met him at 12…he was 15. We dated when I was 16, married at 19. He has been my one and only love. And I his. I have to say we delayed having first child until I was 26. I believe those first 7 (childfree) years of marriage was crucial in our relationship growth. We lived in a different country for four of those years and had many adventures together which helped forge a solid bond. Now in our 70’s and we’re adventuring still (Morocco for two months soon) and life is sweet. Give what you would like to receive. The early child years are the toughest (we had our second when first was 2 yrs old) but also the most important years to pay attention to your loved one. Also don’t wait until those tough years to put down expectations of what split responsibilities look like, have it well established beforehand. Of course having a loving, thoughtful, considerate and attentive partner helps. It astounds me that so many partners are not. It isn’t rocket science to behave decently and tea what you sow.
I am grateful to MN for making me aware just how fortunate we have both been. I look at him with a new appreciation since joining MN a few months ago.

This isn't a lonely and sad singles board though is it? It's for people to talk about relationships. And not just marriages. People talk about their relationships with their in-laws, their children, their siblings, their friends... And not all threads/posts have to be negative! You can't police what people talk about.

Moreover, as I said, women are constantly starting threads on how soooooooo very happy they are to be single, and how superior they are to married women, I mean how rude is THAT considering some married women may be having problems in their marriage, being all smug and happy SINGLE?!

I mean, it cuts both way mate! Considering so many women on here claim to be happy single, and like their life is so much better than married women, there sure are some defensive posts on here!

Me too! Been together 26 years, married for 19. Honestly love him more as I get older.

I've always pitied people like Leonardo Di Caprio who cannot accept having an age-appropriate partner and constantly trade their girlfriends in for a younger model. I think growing old together is such a beautiful privilege.

I split with my partner of 11 years in Jan after years of struggling along with his addiction problems. This thread is a lovely read! My feelings about my failed relationship are my responsibility and other people should be able to celebrate their successes openly without feeling guilty. I'm so glad there are truly happy couples out there ❤️

Me too. Met my dh at 30, dated for five years at ling distance, married at 35, two children by 38, now been together happily for 30 years. He is a wonderful person and thinks I am too. He is as infatuated with me at (gulp) 64 as he was ehen I was 30.

Yep this. The bitterness is seeping through from some posters on here! 😬

Is there a stipulation of whether a post needs to impart wisdom or ask for advise? Many people have enjoyed contributing to this chat. I didn’t intend to add to this chat until I saw your post, but I enjoyed reading through the posts and it made me actually go and tell my husband the things he does that I appreciate, he then told me what he appreciates about me. I never much post online things about my husband as I prefer to tell him, as the only person I need to know how much I love him is him. However, there is no harm to this post.

Also, I’m sure your husband is very lucky to have you (also my mum sounds similar to yours and I often say to her “he is lucky to have me too, thanks!”). I think a great relationship is both sides feeling lucky to have each other and reminding each other of that every now and again goes a long way ❤️

Yeah but how slowly would you climb over him??!!!

And would you cover yourself in baby oil first? 😁

She didn’t say men look better than women as they age. By ‘better’ she meant ‘better than their younger selves’ not ‘better than women the same age’ which is a perfectly valid personal opinion to hold. People can’t help what they’re attracted to.

My partner was 35 when I meant him and I was 26. I’ve seen photos of him when he was 26 and I think he looked much better at 35. I can say the same of plenty of women too, but as I’m not attracted to women it’s a moot point.

I was married for a decade, miserably for most of that (we were far too young, in retrospect, and he became emotionally abusive). Perhaps because of that, my utter adoration and joy in my partner for three years is far more intense than anything else I’ve ever felt for another adult. It’s tempered with a realism and an understanding of just how bad a bad relationship can be - the comparison makes me appreciate him all the more. He’s gentle, courageous, an amazing father, and my best friend. As a bonus he’s also, and I cannot emphasise this enough, absolutely bloody gorgeous - i still have a proper giggly crush on him and sometimes sit and sigh foolishly just watching him doing competent manly things like fixing stuff with his sleeves rolled up 😳

Love this positive thread.

To all you happy ladies, what to look out for when choosing the right partner? How did you know they were the one?

There's some jealous ones on here today.
But i think its lovely to hear that some do have great relationships and marriages.
Im single by choice but i still think its sweet to hear others are in love happy for you all.
Rather read this thread than most on here moaning and bitching over the small things.

The "sleeves"!!!!. What is it about rolled up sleeves that us mumsnetters love so much?

There was a thread about this kind of thing, not so long ago and rolled up sleeves were a thing (I thought I was the only weird one) and very bizarrely, reversing the car with your hand behind your partner's seat.

Lovely thread, OP, thanks for starting it.
Still happy with my choice 36 years on. He’s hotter at 61 than he was at 25, I swear!

This thread has reminded me to say ‘I love you’ today. I used to make a point of it every day, but have been a bit lax recently!

Snap.

We’ve weathered many storms together, and I’m sure there will be more along the way, but I’m so grateful to have had him by my side.

oh god i love the car reversing thing - forearms plus competence 😜

Married 42 years - I was 18 and he was 24. We met when I was 4 days old and his first horrified comment was 'Does it always make that much noise?' Neither of us are perfect. We've been to hell and back, both in our relationship and due to things outside of our control. We've always been there for each other and I hope we will be for a long time yet. I wouldn't change him for anyone and I can't imagine ever wanting to be in a relationship with anyone else if I lose him. And if any of that makes me 'smug', I really don't care!

Sorry I find men do not age well at all. Once past 50 they look awful with few exceptions. Women look like they are dating their dad.

Just my view. I simply do not find white or grey hair remotely attractive. Not meant to offend anybody.

We met young but DH isn't my first love. I fell like mad before him for someone it didn't work out with and I've almost never thought of him since. I don't think there's any magic formula to a marriage that works, other than a) fundamentally being suited in the first place, b) both being invested enough to make it work.

Everybody ages, especially after 50. Women rapidly so in the first few years after the menopause, men more gradually so but often starts a little earlier.

It’s a natural part of life.

Married 35 years after a friend arranged a blind date a couple of years before that. I just humoured her and met him with no expectations. All I can say is my friend chose well for me.

We're very happy together and I'm not a smug married because I know there's no guarantees in life. We have had our ups and down and even separated for 6 months when we were 10 or 11 years married but we worked things out with counselling and it's been great since and rarely argue as we communicate much better since the counselling helped with that.

I've also seen siblings and friends go through separation and divorce, death of a spouse so appreciate what I have with DH.