How would you feel if a guy asked what size you are?

[forestflies]

So I'm talking to a guy, we both like each other, and are just in the early stages. No date/kiss/intimacy. But we text daily and see each other often. There's an age gap, for context.

Earlier this week when texting he made it clear he liked my "curvy figure" and said it's what he goes for. He said I was hot and he does look at my body.

When speaking with him today in person he said he did have a question but didn't know if it would be inappropriate. I prodded as he brought it up so he may as well say it. And he asked "what size" then looked me up and down. It threw me off, and I didn't really answer. He guessed a size (a size larger than I am), and said he almost guessed a size above that, so he was thinking two sizes larger than I am. I was a bit taken back, and didn't know what to make of it. I asked why he wanted to know and he said it was just curiosity. How would you react to this? Do I let it go?

I would find that odd and a bit creepy. It’s got mathletes vibes. Sounds almost like he’s being fetishistic about it.

Weird. What difference does it make to him? That would put me off.

I’d go with your gut – do you like the vibe from him or are you put off? Only you can decide if it bothers you.

Strange thing to ask.

I would assume it was a kink for him and be out off instantly.

Yep that’s how it comes across, like it’s his ‘thing’.

It’s not a strange question in itself but in the context you have described it would flash warning signs. Trust your gut, if it feels weird, it probably is.

Swerve!

A bit yuk. Men can be a bit clueless about clothes sizes though.

It's weird so early on in your relationship. If you'd been going out for a while I'd suspect he was planning on buying some saucy underwear or something, but you haven't dated, kissed or anything yet. The fact he suggested one or two sizes above what you are - I'm not sure how I'd take that.

What’s the relevance of the age gap?

Is he younger?

He sounds like he's got a bit of a kink tbh. It's not a bad thing but if you want someone to like you for you, not because you're curvy and older (if that's the case) then I'd move swiftly on.

For reference, I have a particular feature which is a fetish (natural red head), if any men start with the 'ive never been with a red head' or 'I love a ginger' I tend to move on. The times I've gone with it, they've almost exclusively used me for sex.

I would say ‘I am embarrassed for you that you thought that was appropriate thing to ask me’ and make myself scarce.

Yes that's weird. The only good reason for asking someone's size is if you're buying or lending them clothing.

I would see it that he wants to buy you lingerie. Whether it's the classy sort or the crotchless, nipples cut out bra, is for you to find out! 😬

You don't buy lingerie for someone you've not kissed yet, though.

I have never in my 55 years of life been asked what size I was other than trying on shoes. Outside of this scenario the question is very odd indeed. It’s a bizarre thing to ask.

For him to openly admit he almost went up a size tells me that he very much so has a bigger size fetish either that or he needs a punch in the ( have you asked what size he is down there yet ? ) peen for negging

I bet many men don’t have much of an idea of clothing sizes. Have you mentioned anything about clothing and outfits whilst you’ve been out with him “oh I like that outfit that she’s wearing”? Maybe it’s for a purchase? It depends in his tone and context though and the context of asking seeks a bit weird.

Some people might!

OP, it’s either he’s really likes larger women or he’s wanting to buy you something, either now or in the future.

I’d feel fine but he’d be in agony! That is so rude and disrespectful. Huge red flag! 🚩 Run, don’t walk!

If he's a youngish man, I'd think it's some kind of woman-wrangler pride thing, like those guys who brag that they can tell a woman's bra size by looking. It's stupid. It would put me off.

There again, if he said "16 tops, 14 bottoms, and you're wearing a 38D but you'd be better off with a 36E in some brands", it might still put me off but I'd take him shopping 😂

I once exchanged mesages with a man who made an unsolicited guess at my dress size and bra size based on my dating profile pic. It turned me right off and I blocked him. Ugh. The next time someone asked me what size I was I replied: size 7 - aren't they fabulous boots?

I think it’s too personal a question given the context, and I wouldn’t want to answer either. I mean, why does he need to know your exact size? if he likes your curves then he likes them, it’s irrelevant whether you’re a 12 or a 22. It might be that knowing you’re a ‘big’ size is a turn on for him, but it would put me off being asked that by someone I’m not even dating yet.