DH has left me for a teenager

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Just that really. My DH of 10 years has left me for a 19 year old girl who works in the local chip shop. He’s 36 and we have 2 children aged 7 and 3. How do I even begin to pick up the pieces? What do I tell the kids? I’m beyond broken and have laid catatonic in bed since I dropped the kids off at school/nursery this morning. Have a huge job interview next week for a promotion I’ve been working so hard towards.

Omg jesus, ive got second hand embarrassment for him when he comes to his senses! Hes 36 and shes 19 and works in the local chippy ffs! Blokes are just sad. Hes left you and his lovely children, secure life on a whim! Well let him have his bloody mid life crisis. He will be buying a sports car next 🤦🏻‍♀️ Get your ducks in a row and get yourself a great solicitor. Hes paying!

He's not your family. Your children are your family. And they deserve a mother who models how to be brave and take no shit from bad men.

He's a crap role model but you have an opportunity to be a good one. To teach kids that men don't get to treat women badly and just flounce back into their lives. That actions have consequences. That cruelty and deceit shouldn't be forgiven and brushed under the table.

He broke himself off from your family when he cheated. Don't try and glue him back in. He's a timebomb. And a nasty little man.

Things might be bumpy for a time but in a few years you'll look back and be bloody greatful the trash took itself out.

You wouldn't want similar to happen to your kids and them to think it's normal to take privks like him back. So be strong and keep him gone.

This deeply silly 'man' wants the ego trip of two women fighting over him.

I'd be seriously tempted to respond 'Who dis?'

Instead, I'd respond with details of when his crap will be available for picking up outside the house, where it will all be in bin bags, and a PS telling him to await communication from your solicitor.

If he’s messaging you asking do you love him and if you want to fight for him etc- listen to me - that’s a sadistic narcissistic torture tactic! Please see that. Do not engage in fighting over him. You need to try to see things very clearly right now. I know that the works narcissist is very overused these days, but I’m in my 50s and I have been with a few way before it was ‘a thing’ on social media and I really know this for a fact - if he’s wasting you to fight for him etc as you’re saying, he is getting a massive about of supply from this, he is getting off on it. Don@t give him it. Any tear you cry or any time you say you love him and want him back is just fuel for his ego. Earlier posts - he was a bastard but now- that’s a whole new kettle of fish you’re dealing with here. There for each other through what? I’ve never ever said this before on here but if you can take him for everything you can, do it.

Hes made his bed, let him lie in it. Do not take him back. Block him if you have to for a few days to get your head together x

...and after that, I'd block him so you have a clear mind ahead of your interview.

Also to state the obvious when he says this is mostly emotional, he is lying. It will have been mostly sexual. It is really difficult to suddenly adjust when a man shows you he is definitely not the person you thought he was, someone you would share a lifetime with. However he has now demonstrated he is liar, faithless and a border line nonce. Good luck with the interview, we will all be thinking of you...but make sure you kick this scumbag into touch.

'You stopped being my family when you left. I have no interest in fighting for you. Frankly, the mere thought is laughable. We're done. My solicitor will be in touch regarding the divorce and custody arrangements. Good luck in the bed you made for yourself. I hear it's toasty in hell'.

I know it'll be tough, but hold it together next week for an hour or a day or whatever it takes and smash your interview. The more money of your own you have, the less power he has. You can do it. Just keep telling yourself how much it will benefit the DC, and go and wow them.

He asked if you would fight for your family ? Yes you would,. You'd fight for anyone that ' is your ' family . He stopped being family when he went off chasing his fishy friend !

Why would you want to fight for a man who has supposedly fallen in love with a young woman half his age? He seems to want you to do the pick me dance all of a sudden.

I also think he's trying to sabotage your job promo.

I have to wonder if he's been to a lawyer and found out how costly a divorce with two young kids will be.

For whatever reason, he wants you concentrated on him and I wouldn't be doing that. Communicate about getting his stuff and the kids only. Give him as little headspace as possible for the time being besides having a lawyer consult for yourself.

For example, with the aren't you going to fight for me, just respond your stuff is available for pickup until 1 month from today. Don't get personal. Think ice.

He’s messaging me asking if I love him and do I want to fight for my family. What the fuck do I say to that. Is he having regrets already?

You’re the one who should have fought against the shallow instincts that have caused you to tear this family apart.

Ok stop there . His cock and balls chased a teenager addled his brain and by default his body followed. You are going to ace your interview and new job and screw him for everything. 🌹.

He made his bed and now he has to lie in it with his chip shop girl. Get your promotion and have a wonderful new life without him.

This!

And add "I'll bring the DC around on Wednesday afternoon after school, and you can drop them back to me at afternoon tea time on Saturday. Don't forget that Jimmy has cricket practice Thursday afternoon, and Sarah has ballet Saturday morning."

That’s awful, I’m really sorry. I wouldn’t know what to think, do or say either. Sounds really tough. You will get through it, but you shouldn’t have to 🥲

Ignore his message and as others have said concentrate on the interview. And finding other opportunities if you’re not successful. He sounds a complete arse and you and the kids deserve better. Glad you have good support and rooting for you.

I would reply
"Your belongings are in bin bags on the lawn".

He’s messaging me asking if I love him and do I want to fight for my family. What the fuck do I say to that. Is he having regrets already?

I’m guessing he’s made the big announcement to her that he has left you, enabling them to be together. Reality (and common sense) has then hit her and he didn’t get the rapturous response he thought he’d get with her swooning into his arms. So, he’s thought ‘bugger’, and is circling back now his fantasy no longer exists. What. A. Fuckwit.

Absolutely THIS 👍🏻

Im a similar age to your husband and when I see a 19 year old boy I see a child.

How embarrassing for him.

'Hahaha little miss 'emotional connection' lost interest already? Sucks to be you. Incase you thought you could circle back to me, just to be clear, that's never going to happen. You blew up our family and I have no interest in letting a timebomb back into my bed, thanks. Ever ever ever. Now that's cleared up, my solicitor will be in touch regarding next steps. Toodles'.

You know what would be really funny.

if he’s telling the truth, it’s just emotional and maybe a kiss, he’s jumped the gun thinking he’s got it better and the girls gone aaaahhh ew! No! 😂

girl you gotta laugh. You will grow from this, I know it’s hard but you are worth so much more!

He’s messaging me asking if I love him and do I want to fight for my family. What the fuck do I say to that.

I wouldn't even worry replying to that. I would keep all communication strictly factual and to a bare minimum from now on.

You ok OP?
Any further forward with anything as the day has went on?
Sorry you're going through this. And I agree with all before me...this could really be the absolute making of you once everything settles and you're through the other side