How do I stop attracting cocklodgers?

[Kaltenzahn]

I'm almost 30 and haven't had a significant relationship in around 4 years. The last few men I've dated have shown major cocklodger red flags a few months in, which has massively turned me off and I've ended things pretty soon after.

I'm not sure where I'm going wrong - whether I'm attracting the wrong type of guy or whether there are early warning signs that I'm missing.

I don't know what to do! I'd love to find a healthy relationship but I'm losing hope, the last 4 men I've dated have all turned out the exact same way.

How do I stop attracting this kind of man, or how do I spot them early on and save myself wasting my time? Is this just part of the shit that comes with dating in your 30s?

Help!

@SpainToday they are nowhere near self aware enough to consider that, with no signs of changing. I did actually try to encourage one of the guys to look at flats a few years ago, said it would be good for him to move out of his mums etc, but he was totally disinterested.

How do I stop attracting this kind of man, or how do I spot them early on and save myself wasting my time?
It depends entirely on what kind of man you DO want to attract. But, if we break down Cocklodgers, what kind of behaviour do they have? They are usually takers (gladly sit back and let women pay for them - red flag), selfish (only thinks about themselves and their own needs), manipulative (try to twist things to convince you that what's abnormal and wrong is actually normal and right), stingy with their own money and possesions (never spend or share anything that's their's on you), make unresonable demands (expect you to be okay with things you are not okay with), try to over-step your boundaries in order to get what THEY want, make up stories about how/why they are the victim of SOMETHING ("my parents/landlord have envicted me for no reason at all, boohoo, poor me, feel sorry for me, take me in, it'll benefit the both of us" - bullshit like that). The logical thing would be to keep an eye out for any behaviour that can be classified as selfish, greedy, stingy, manipulative, unreasonable, etc.

As women, we should also not be so hesitant to let men go when they, in the early stages of dating, display questionable behaviour...hoping they'll get better. They won't. The questionable behaviour won't go away, it's just the tip of the iceberg, usually. Nobody is perfect, but there is a difference between accepting reasonable differences and quirks, and tolerating down-right shittiness.

Interesting stuff. Seeing as Im never going to be able to drive because of poor eyes it’s nice to know you’ve all`’dodged a bullet”.

Back on the stretching machine to get me to 6ft.