DH ‘took the kids to the park’ (2 of 4, obviously)

[FrustratedMum2025]

Need to vent because I’m about 3 minutes from turning into a human scream. DH offered (big generous word, that) to “give me a break” and “take the kids to the park for a bit” this afternoon. Great, right?

Except… he took two of the four children. DS1 and DD2. The easy ones today. The ones who don’t throw a fit when you zip up their coat the wrong way or dissolve into a puddle because their banana snapped.
Guess who got left behind with DS2 (mid-sugar crash and refusing to nap) and DD1 (who is 12 going on 35 and in a mood because I wouldn’t let her buy £18 toner at Tesco)?

Meanwhile, DH is sending me pics from the park like he’s Father of the Year, with DS1 smiling on the swings and DD2 feeding ducks like something from a bloody Boden catalogue.

Back here? DS2 bit me (gently, but still) and DD1 just told me I “don’t get how hard it is to be a tween.” I am actively hiding in the downstairs loo with half a bag of Haribo DS1 left behind.

I love them. I do. But why do men get points for showing up late to a game we’ve been playing since dawn?

Please tell me I’m not the only one.

There’s nothing humorous about what he’s doing. He has no respect for you. Having four children with someone like this sounds absolute awful.

and they get points because patriarchy

Can’t imagine choosing to have 4 kids in the first place.

Tbf if you have 4 dc I'd expect it to be hard work. I'm sure your 12 year old wouldn't have wanted to go to the park anyway.

I was biting my lip to not say that but then you did!

Ignore the tween. Let her be in a mood. Wont kill her
Focus on the biter.

Reason you didn’t have a conversation with him and tell him to do something with all 4 kids?

"This isn't a break. I'm still looking after two kids" Send it!

Personally I wouldnt be able to take 4 kids to the park.

oh, and 12 year olds really do just keep to themselves if you don’t actively go looking for interaction so she is actually quite easy. He could haven’t taken 3 with him and left the tween so do her own thing.

The problem isn’t the age of the kids, or which ones he’s taken to the park.

The problem is that your DH views parenting his children as “giving you a break”, he obviously sees you as the default carer who he very generously helps out occasionally.

Any particular reason you had 4 kids?

My DH can be a bit like this; he will take DS(4) out and I’m left with DD (1) who is lovely but a typical one year old with a big belly and big attitude. Then he acts like it’s ’fair.’ Sigh.

Why didn't you give him ds2 as well?

Im not blaming you for his attitude that stinks but was there any discussion that taking the third and possibly the tween would have actually been helpful?

Did you know he’d only take two?

Is that any of your business?

Go out on your own tomorrow and leave him with all 4.

Personally, I'd be ready to go out myself as soon as he gets back from the bloody park!

A quick, breezy, 'I'm just popping out for some bits, be back soon' then I'd hot foot it down to a nice coffee shop with a magazine and my phone on ' Do not disturb', and not come home until after supper time!

If he won't actually parent all 4 kids at once, as you have to do, then he's not bloody doing any 'parenting' at all, is he???

Let HIM deal with the chaos for a few hours, cos it's the only way he'll EVER realize how hard it is !!!

Crikey these are some vitriolic replies

My DH suggested taking one of our two children today because the other was having a nap. I wasn't having it. I managed to strap the inconvenient napper in the car without waking them and then pushed the other two out the door and closed it firmly behind them.

Did you not ask him why only 2 before he left

"Err, you're missing one. It's not Home Alone here. Count the kids properly." 😂