DH ‘took the kids to the park’ (2 of 4, obviously)

[FrustratedMum2025]

Need to vent because I’m about 3 minutes from turning into a human scream. DH offered (big generous word, that) to “give me a break” and “take the kids to the park for a bit” this afternoon. Great, right?

Except… he took two of the four children. DS1 and DD2. The easy ones today. The ones who don’t throw a fit when you zip up their coat the wrong way or dissolve into a puddle because their banana snapped.
Guess who got left behind with DS2 (mid-sugar crash and refusing to nap) and DD1 (who is 12 going on 35 and in a mood because I wouldn’t let her buy £18 toner at Tesco)?

Meanwhile, DH is sending me pics from the park like he’s Father of the Year, with DS1 smiling on the swings and DD2 feeding ducks like something from a bloody Boden catalogue.

Back here? DS2 bit me (gently, but still) and DD1 just told me I “don’t get how hard it is to be a tween.” I am actively hiding in the downstairs loo with half a bag of Haribo DS1 left behind.

I love them. I do. But why do men get points for showing up late to a game we’ve been playing since dawn?

Please tell me I’m not the only one.

Maybe it's just us, but we knew when we had 3 that it would be a case of very rarely having a break with no children until all were at school/preschool. Especially with age gaps/different needs and interests. Isn't that usually one of the considerations when you have 'more children than hands' ? Id have loved four, but knew this would mean the years of neither of us having much of a break would be extended, and that we had reached our limit.

I’m guessing 12 refused to go. If she wasn’t asked, OH is due a bollocking.

Maybe she shouldn’t have been stroppy then.

The purse-lipped sanctimony on this thread (and across the whole site these days) is quite something.

What 12 year old isn't stroppy sometimes?

I know it’s not a helpful comment, but I really struggle to empathise with people with this many children vying for a break, you’ve got FOUR kids, what were you expecting?! I’d have thought divide and conquer was the best way to tackle this many children.

My 12 yr old would be going anyway.

I have two kids and not planning any more, but I really don't understand these comments around 4 kids. 4 kids is a large family but it's hardly excessively large.

How tf is this helpful?

Probably none - she can still go stand in the park. Maybe she’ll meet some other stroppy tweens there with their dads of the year.

Indeed.

Well, he’s just walked in, took one look at me, and asked if dinner is nearly ready 🙄. Like he’s been working hard or something. Meanwhile, I’m still sorting DS2’s meltdown from earlier, and DD1 is surprisingly not interested in doing anything to help.
And yes, of course, I’m so lucky to have a husband who’s so generous with his 2 hour park trip. Honestly, it’s like a medal-worthy event in his head.
Next time I’m just going to shove them all in the car and drop them off at the park myself, I think. Might come home to a peaceful house for once.

4 is LOADS. If they’re parenting how I parent 2, 4 is a shit ton. Not to get all mathematical on you but it’s double…

If you’re a hands off parent I guess it’s not much more.

I’m guessing dad of the year is cooking

I know I sound like a whingy old fart but I miss MN 15 years ago when people were funny and good-hearted and helpful, rather than uptight and sanctimonious and absolutely desperate to sneer at anyone who’s having a tough day.

How come? Mine are 17, 14, 9 and 7. The teens aren't interested in parks now though🤣

It's not good enough, but it could be a lot worse. Not worth spinning the wheel if things in general are alright

Or she could eye up the guys playing football etc etc if there are some there!

So, for at least 12 years you have let him away with this shit? This is a dreadful example to your DC. If you go out in the evening does he 'babysit'? Yes, you should look for ways to leave him with some of (preferably all) the children next Saturday.

Because it would be too much hard work! One wd probably fall in the duck pond.

I don't think any 12 -yr- olds want to go to the park with toddlers. But the DH could have taken the 3 younger ones.

Why? Lol I used to take my 3 to the park and spend a whole day there, was like where's Wally trying to spot them in the paddling pools in summer, all survived tho.

I would also struggle, but that's why I don't have 4 kids. OP's DH presumably knows how babies are made, and the amount of work that would be involved when he agreed to have that many. Also unless they are both permanently around for childcare, OP probably manages all four regulars, whenever the DH isn't playing farther of the year, without expecting a medal.

Clearly you are all made of sterner stuff than me.

This is absolutely horrible. I'm not going to report your message as it should be left for people to see how unkind and rude it is.

I could probably get both mine to the park and they could help me if the hills were a bit much. They are 31 and nearly 33, though.

When I was young and child-free I used to think I'd love to have four children. Then we had our first, followed remarkably and unexpectedly rapidly by the second. Both very hard work in different ways back then (not later, thank god, or I wouldn't be writing this now). I decided in fairly short order that I'd reached my limit. Never regretted it since. If I'd had domestic help or family living nearby it might have been different, I suppose.