DH ‘took the kids to the park’ (2 of 4, obviously)

[FrustratedMum2025]

Need to vent because I’m about 3 minutes from turning into a human scream. DH offered (big generous word, that) to “give me a break” and “take the kids to the park for a bit” this afternoon. Great, right?

Except… he took two of the four children. DS1 and DD2. The easy ones today. The ones who don’t throw a fit when you zip up their coat the wrong way or dissolve into a puddle because their banana snapped.
Guess who got left behind with DS2 (mid-sugar crash and refusing to nap) and DD1 (who is 12 going on 35 and in a mood because I wouldn’t let her buy £18 toner at Tesco)?

Meanwhile, DH is sending me pics from the park like he’s Father of the Year, with DS1 smiling on the swings and DD2 feeding ducks like something from a bloody Boden catalogue.

Back here? DS2 bit me (gently, but still) and DD1 just told me I “don’t get how hard it is to be a tween.” I am actively hiding in the downstairs loo with half a bag of Haribo DS1 left behind.

I love them. I do. But why do men get points for showing up late to a game we’ve been playing since dawn?

Please tell me I’m not the only one.

Well you chose four.. and surely the 12 year old can be broadly left to their own devices…

No-ones business why you have 4 and to be honest, not the point. Patenting the easy ones and saying you're being given a break is. It's a dh problem.
It's helpful to take them to the park, but it's parenting not giving you a break.
Tween could be left, as I'd imagine wouldn't go to the park. However, an actual break involves no children being present or it's just less work not a break.
It would be better to have a conversation about it and then divide up some time where you can both be child free to have a break.

@Nuttygarlic

Kids at home were 12 and 3. So… a hormonal sass tornado and a toddler who just bit me because his crisps were “too loud”.
So no, not exactly the relaxing break DH thinks he provided me.
And yep - they’re all his. All four. Every last chaotic one of them.
Starting to wonder if I need to start “generously” offering him breaks by disappearing for 6 hours next Saturday.

Next time, anyone who is awake needs to be shoved out.

Does he have form for this? From using phrases like “giving you a break”, to expecting praise and claps for it, to picking and choosing what bits he actually does etc? Does he ever actually parent all 4 children on his own? Or do the parenting stuff for them without being asked/reminded ?

Is the sugar crash from all those Easter eggs 😂

I love them. I do. But why do men get points for showing up late to a game we’ve been playing since dawn?
Please tell me I’m not the only one.
Of course you're not the only one. MN is chock full of martyrs who have had multiple children with useless men.

Bloody hell. The posters calling her out for having 4 kids! Is it only people with 2.4 children who are allowed to have a moan? If you have 4 children do you deserve it if one plays up? I have 4, all grown up now. No regrets at having 4, their childhood was fun. But of course it had its moments, that’s inevitable.
Anyway OP, you have a DH problem as I think you realise.

When he gets home go out, calling behind you "I'm off for my break now"

“Glad you’re back from having fun at the park. I was worried you’d forgotten about my break!” Then swan off.

Why didn't you tell him to take all 4 kids?

Just go out yourself for the evening when he gets back and let him deal with all 4. Then wait for the father of the year pictures.

If dh isn’t home yet why don’t you take the two left with you to the park and hand them over.

Then go off out somewhere. Possibly to buy a lock for the bedroom door so you can lock yourself in for when they all get home. 😉

Just to echo others, definitely pop out for something when he gets back. Only two kids here and I did just that this morning, I had a lovely walk in the sun by myself. Do it!

Yeah, that isn't a break.
He should have taken all four.

And of course you can take four children to the park by yourself - it isn't hard - especially if you are already used to parenting four.

Yes I don't understand why when the two kids were getting shoes and coats that op didn't say to DH "you've got two more here, they're going as well".

But then op wouldn't have anything to complain about I suppose.

I mean, the oldest is 12 and not going to be interested in going to the park, and the 3yo was due a nap, so couldn't go to the park.

I would wait until he gets back and go out myself. Let him sort dinner and bed.

We have 4. Divide and conquer is a great strategy!

What a twattish reply.

I wonder if he's been able to strike up a conversation at the park with a passerby who think he's absolutely amazing for looking after his children for an hour or so and giving his wife a break....and that you must be the luckiest woman alive.

Agree ! tbh from what I can see there’s people just waiting to bring people down a peg or two on here regardless of the what they write. But sad that a website for women/ mothers has so much of this attitude.

agree with others OP - next time you bugger off on your own for some self care ! If he has form for this then need to have a more serious convo about it! Hope you get to enjoy some sunshine if you’re somewhere it is shining

mean girl

What 12 year old calls themselves a tween? 🤣

Shove the 2 of them into the car and drop them off at the park.

🤣

What 12 year old wants to go to the park with her dad and her kid siblings?