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Original poster

Disappointed second date I’m appalled

128 replies

Briannaivy · 31/03/2025 19:23

So I went on a second date with a man that I’ve been talking to for a month now. Our schedules have been so busy that I didn’t have time to see him. Anyways I met him out when I was with my girls a month ago, he asked for my number and we started talking. He’s 10 years older than me, I’m 24.

So we finished with the second date which was the movies, I suggested it. We head to his car and we sat and talked. He kept bringing up how we could have watched a movie at his place? I explained to him that I don’t do house visits with men until I’m comfortable and know where things are going.

I jokingly asked him why he wanted to me to go to his house so bad? Also why he kept asking me to go ? Then I said “you just want to bang that’s why you keep asking”? He replied and said “yeah I want to fudge the sh!t out of you, that’s not all I want but yes I want that”……. Y’all I was to stunned to speak, I’ve never had a man be so bold and just disrespectful….. Then he said “I want you to orgasm as many times as you like” …..

I felt so in shocked, he said I’m just being honest are you used to men lying to you etc… I told him that was very disrespectful and not cool to say to someone on a second date. At least not in that term. Then he brought up how we should do dates that don’t coast money ? Huh…. Sir you’ve only taken me on two dates, what do you mean ? At that point I started mentally checking out and just called it a night. Then he tried to apologize and told me he hope he could see me again?

Y’all why is my picker offf what the hell is going on …

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 31/03/2025 20:12

I wish someone would fudge me - as long as it means give me lots of fudge

babymaybebaby · 31/03/2025 20:13

“you just want to bang that’s why you keep asking

You're appalled he agreed with you?

MrsSchrute · 31/03/2025 20:14

I mean, no one comes out of this looking great.
Maybe no date three ...

babymaybebaby · 31/03/2025 20:15

I am very beautiful, he kept calling and saying I looked like a model, maybe he was just highly attracted to me and seen me as a piece of meet cause I’m younger?

What man doesn't love beautiful meet?!

Original poster
Briannaivy · 31/03/2025 20:15

I also told him that I’m used to a man courting me, he asked me what my definition of a man courting me was? I responded and he replied saying “what do you do for these guys, what do you do in return for the men that court you?….

OP posts:
Readingismyfirstlove · 31/03/2025 20:16

Briannaivy · 31/03/2025 19:49

I thought I would give him a chance cause he seemed like a gentleman. He’s an educator, has a masters, is a homeowner, no kids etc. not my usual type but I said let me try something different and maybe I’ll get different results… he’s 34 and I’m 24.

I am very beautiful, he kept calling and saying I looked like a model, maybe he was just highly attracted to me and seen me as a piece of meet cause I’m younger? I just found it distasteful , he could have worded it differently. “I want to make love to you, I want to have sex with you, I want to be intimate with you”…… He didn’t have to say what he said.

then he texted me this morning telling me good morning …..

Well you started with the sex talk calling it banging. He was just replying by going diwn to your level.

Why woukd he refer to it as making love or be gentlemanly when you refer to it as banging.

I think the only apparent thing on here us ge would' be better off with someone mature.

Orangemintcream · 31/03/2025 20:16

Briannaivy · 31/03/2025 20:15

I also told him that I’m used to a man courting me, he asked me what my definition of a man courting me was? I responded and he replied saying “what do you do for these guys, what do you do in return for the men that court you?….

You actually use the term “courting” ?

What does that mean exactly ? How would a man “court” you ?

DahliaBlooming · 31/03/2025 20:16

In the kindest way possible, I think you are far more naive about men & relationships than you think you are. If you have any wiser, older women in your life - especially if they're in a healthy, happy, long-term relationship - maybe spend some time talking with them. Look after yourself x

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 31/03/2025 20:17

ErrPods · 31/03/2025 19:27

I think if you start speaking about “banging” then you’re leaving yourself open to him responding in kind with similarly crude language- he took a cue from you.

You’re an adult, you don’t need permission to stop seeing someone. Doesn’t sound like you want the same things, which is fine.

Incidentally, did he pay for both dates?

I agree with this. You are the one that moved the convo in that direction. You could have just stayed firm in your boundary and said 'I'd love to spend time at your place when we've got to know each other better, I'm not up for a Netflix and chill date just get but would love to do something else fun soon!'

Original poster
Briannaivy · 31/03/2025 20:17

DahliaBlooming · 31/03/2025 20:16

In the kindest way possible, I think you are far more naive about men & relationships than you think you are. If you have any wiser, older women in your life - especially if they're in a healthy, happy, long-term relationship - maybe spend some time talking with them. Look after yourself x

What makes me naive ?

OP posts:
wfhwfh · 31/03/2025 20:18

I don’t think he sounds like a nice man, OP. You’re young & good-looking - you don’t need to settle for this. Find someone kind and respectful (and who you find attractive)

Readingismyfirstlove · 31/03/2025 20:20

Orangemintcream · 31/03/2025 20:16

You actually use the term “courting” ?

What does that mean exactly ? How would a man “court” you ?

Show quote history

Court means bang to some people 🙄

BlondeMummyto1 · 31/03/2025 20:21

Block.

Offtobuttonmoontovisitmrspoon · 31/03/2025 20:25

I am very beautiful

And modest and naive.

You want a man to pay for the privilege of dating you. You mentioned sex, he said that he would like to fuck you. He could have been less crude but you sound like a princess.

He’s ten years older. It’s not going to work.

ForestFox44 · 31/03/2025 20:29

It all sounds awful but you opened it up for him to go that way 😅

TimeForABreak4 · 31/03/2025 20:31

You outright asked him and he was stupid enough to be honest. Now at least you know he only sees you as a piece of meet and can move on to meat someone else that you like and who will court you and not want to bang you.

SwedishEdith · 31/03/2025 20:31

"he said I’m just being honest"

Tbf, he was. You sound very inexperienced. You were trying to be coy asking him why he wanted you to go back to his when, really, you knew why.

Move on and let it go.

BrunetteBarbie94 · 31/03/2025 20:32

My God... some of the posts on here! OP ignore most of the weirdos on here attacking you, whose standards are clearly the bare minimum such that they can't imagine that a man would pay for a date without a legitimate expectation of sex! Unbelievable.

I imagine i'm nearer your age than most of the PPs and there was nothing wrong with what you asked him and his response was outrageous. Suspect the grannies are clutching their pearls because they have never heard anyone say 'bang' before and they are so ignorant that they dont even realise that you are clearly not from the UK and therefore colloquial parlance is different. 'Educator' kind of gives that away. Ignore them.

He is disgusting, just thank your lucky stars that he showed you who he is. A stingy older player who just wants to have sex with you. He gives serious Andrew Tate vibes "what do you do for him?" This kind of man does not a good husband make.

Blown away at how many PPs think its outrageous he paid for two dates, one of which was the cinema! Really makes sense why Mumsnet is full of stories of such worthless men, these women are lapping them up.

NoIroningSheets · 31/03/2025 20:36

Cucy · 31/03/2025 19:43

Then I said “you just want to bang that’s why you keep asking”? He replied and said “yeah I want to fudge the sh!t out of you, that’s not all I want but yes I want that”……. Y’all I was to stunned to speak, I’ve never had a man be so bold and just disrespectful

Huh?!
You were the one to bring it up in the conversation!

How is he bold and disgusting for replying to your question about sex.
Surely you are more bold and disgusting for saying about it first?

I think you’re just looking for excuses not to like him.

Have we time travelled back to the 1950s?

emmetgirl · 31/03/2025 20:38

Have I just been transported to 1952?

MoominMai · 31/03/2025 20:38

Tbh, I don’t know why you’re so outraged. You say you ‘took the initiative’ by asking if he ‘wanted to bang’ you as he kept asking you to go to his. I wouldn’t agree that you necessarily did that but regardless, you used crude language first making him respond similarly. So not sure why you’re upset he didn’t word his reply more romantically. You asked - you got it - but didn’t like it - so to quote Ariana Grande “thank you NEXT!”.

Unforgettablefire · 31/03/2025 20:41

Well you did ask. He just responded to your potty mouth I wonder what he thought of you asking him about banging?

LadyKenya · 31/03/2025 20:42

BrunetteBarbie94 · 31/03/2025 20:32

My God... some of the posts on here! OP ignore most of the weirdos on here attacking you, whose standards are clearly the bare minimum such that they can't imagine that a man would pay for a date without a legitimate expectation of sex! Unbelievable.

I imagine i'm nearer your age than most of the PPs and there was nothing wrong with what you asked him and his response was outrageous. Suspect the grannies are clutching their pearls because they have never heard anyone say 'bang' before and they are so ignorant that they dont even realise that you are clearly not from the UK and therefore colloquial parlance is different. 'Educator' kind of gives that away. Ignore them.

He is disgusting, just thank your lucky stars that he showed you who he is. A stingy older player who just wants to have sex with you. He gives serious Andrew Tate vibes "what do you do for him?" This kind of man does not a good husband make.

Blown away at how many PPs think its outrageous he paid for two dates, one of which was the cinema! Really makes sense why Mumsnet is full of stories of such worthless men, these women are lapping them up.

Oh dear.

Bingbopboomboomboombopbam · 31/03/2025 20:44

Why did you post the same post on multiple websites?

I saw this on lipstickalley already

babyproblems · 31/03/2025 20:45

I mean don’t ever speak to him again is my advice!!

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