Four months ago I asked my partner of 15 years to separate. We have two young children and a mortgage.
Throughout month one, he wouldnt engage in any conversation with me about separating. He shut me down or became extremely verbally abusive towards me.
I started to communicate with him (about the separation) via email. I detailed that I wanted it to be amicable, that I wanted to co-parent, but ultimately the relationship was over and we needed to sort the house. I offered to buy him out of the house.
Side note: I have been financially supporting with all outgoings for our family for a year - mortgage, food, childcare, fuel, clothes, holidays, phone bills, gym memberships - everything.
I decided in February to stop supporting his personal finances; car, gym, phone.
He turned even more emotionally abusive - including telling my children that he wanted me to 'burn in hell' and that I am breaking up the family and destroying their lives. He's even told them that when I tell them I love them, I dont mean it.
I have a lot of this recorded.
I told the school.
The school called Child Protection Services (CPS).
Since then, my children are on a Child Protection Plan as they at risk of emotional abuse. The CPS say whilst we continue to live together our children are at risk.
His family live in a big house, 30 mins away. My family live 2 hours away.
I ask him to talk about the children, given the situation, he turns abusive again, telling me that he wont allow me to buy him out of the house (that I pay for) and he will only consider selling 'when he is ready' and that he will only do this option as he wants me to suffer and see the pain in the childrens eyes when we all leave our family home.
CPS at one point saw him for the type of man he is, however in our latest conference, they stated we are both 'decent human beings' that just need to sit and sort this out.
In the meantime I have spent £5k on legal advice. My solicitor was mid writing a letter to him asking him to think about house options, then once the CPS were involved they told me to change tact and apply for an urgent occupation order (OO) Which I did. What my solicitor didnt advise is that OO's are incredibly hard to get granted.
They told me I must do it to demonstrate to the CPS that I am doing everything in my power to protect my children. I told the CPS, but they didnt seem too phased or supportive of this.
My solicitor has billed me for the letter than never reached my ex and are now telling me I must continue pushing the courts for the OO.
I don't know what to do....
I am still paying for this man. He is making mine and the children's lives a misery. He plays up to the CPS, then when we get home he's horrible to me again.
I am hoping someone has been through this kind of thing before and can help me.
Am I months away from freedom? Is there anything else I should be doing?
I feel like I am being held hostage in my own life.