The pressure has landed on me

[Livesinashoe7]

I'm in a situation where I've been letting someone stay who I have history with. They are down on their luck at the moment. It was sort of agreed that if my children are at their dad's (2 or 3 evenings a week) then I have space. But I work too so I may need them to go around 7am in the morning if I have my sons after work.

They were mainly supposed to be staying with their adult child and partner who lives approx 40 minutes away in a car from me. I hoped this would be a couple of weeks.

The first week he was with me Friday, Saturday and Sunday. He went over to theirs on the Monday until the Saturday. I said he could stay Saturday night until Monday morning. But on the Monday his daughter took forever to respond. So I had to let him stay another night. She then said she had family or friends over and put him off until the Wednesday. She then said she had friends from Friday for the weekend.

I said I had my children Saturday afternoon (yesterday) until Tuesday when they'll go to their dads for a night. So I said to arrange to go over with her. Again it took absolutely forever for them to communicate with. I had work yesterday morning so I said he could stay until lunch time but he needed to leave at 2 pm as the kids would be dropped off.

He left and then she messaged saying her friends are over for a week and there's no room for him.

For the next 4 hours he was sat in a park. Freezing. Nowhere to go. No money. It was Interupting my time with the children. Eventually I paid £90 for him to stay in a travelodge in the next town. He's paying me back Tuesday. Other than Tuesday and Wednesday I can't help. I have stuff to do. I'm really frustrated with his family. But its all going to start again today when he wakes up.

I need some advice

Some landlords in the private sector do rent to people on benefits (there are at least two in my street), and then he would get housing benefit (in addition to his UC and Pip) to cover the rent, and get his Council Tax paid as well.

But the dog is a massive stumbling block.

Has he any siblings or parents still alive?

When do his doctors say he can work again? And the recruitment process can be long so what's stopping him appyling for jobs in the meantime?

theboffinsarecoming · Yesterday 15:53
Single males do get housed easily.
Gullible women feel sorry for them and take them in. Don't be that woman.

I think Boffin was being a little tongue in cheek. And I agree with her. There's a phrase used a lot on here - no one falls in love quicker than a man who needs a roof over his head.

Single males get housed by their families, lovers, former lovers. They get everyone running around after them - just as this chap is with you. Boffin is telling you you're being used and I agree with her.

If you find a solution op, do let us know. Well done for helping.

If nothing else happens, uc will cut the housing entitlement as he is no longer renting. I would help him find a house share, that accepts dogs/ pet. Sleeping outside and sleeping in a bad area, which is worse? Tough love is very hard and sometimes feels cruel. But he needs somewhere with a bed.

I think you've missed my point.

This is such a heart breaking situation. I can't believe his DD won't house him, her sick dad?
Not sure what to advise apart from to tell him to get a GP appointment, and ask if they can signpost him to any services who can help house him. If he sleeps rough he'll end up in hospital pretty soon anyway so the NHS should help prevent that if the council don't give a shit. If he goes into hospital then they can't release him without housing, but who knows where the dog will go.

The dog is the biggest issue I imagine, but many of us with dogs could understand if you'd lost everything then losing the dog might just tip us over the edge. There might be charities who can help house the dog temporarily.
As suggested (and assuming he knows how to use the internet) he needs to go to a library and getting looking for solutions. The dog will just have to be tied outside or left in your garden if that could work?

Might be worth him asking in local Facebook groups for short term board/lodging?

I think you are great helping him out, and I can't believe how many people on here would kick him out on the street with zero compassion when he needs help. Yes it's inconvenient but where is the humanity on this thread?

I'm the first to say LTB or kick the cock lodger out, and not allow women to be unpaid skivvies to men. But it doesn't sound like that situation here.
Obviously the op knows him and seems savvy enough to not want this situation to continue too long or for him to move in by stealth. But he's respecting her boundaries so far, and she's being kind, kindness doesn't mean she's a mug.

https://www.dogstrusthopeproject.org.uk/help-with-dog-friendly-services/service-search

Spare room. com for him.

Cinnamon Trust or local charity for his dog to be fostered if the Spare room host won't let him have the dog.

He can rest, recuperate and regroup for a couple of months in a safe and warm environment then he can start job hunting etc for a more settled future with his dog.

Have either of you looked at that website?