The pressure has landed on me

[Livesinashoe7]

I'm in a situation where I've been letting someone stay who I have history with. They are down on their luck at the moment. It was sort of agreed that if my children are at their dad's (2 or 3 evenings a week) then I have space. But I work too so I may need them to go around 7am in the morning if I have my sons after work.

They were mainly supposed to be staying with their adult child and partner who lives approx 40 minutes away in a car from me. I hoped this would be a couple of weeks.

The first week he was with me Friday, Saturday and Sunday. He went over to theirs on the Monday until the Saturday. I said he could stay Saturday night until Monday morning. But on the Monday his daughter took forever to respond. So I had to let him stay another night. She then said she had family or friends over and put him off until the Wednesday. She then said she had friends from Friday for the weekend.

I said I had my children Saturday afternoon (yesterday) until Tuesday when they'll go to their dads for a night. So I said to arrange to go over with her. Again it took absolutely forever for them to communicate with. I had work yesterday morning so I said he could stay until lunch time but he needed to leave at 2 pm as the kids would be dropped off.

He left and then she messaged saying her friends are over for a week and there's no room for him.

For the next 4 hours he was sat in a park. Freezing. Nowhere to go. No money. It was Interupting my time with the children. Eventually I paid £90 for him to stay in a travelodge in the next town. He's paying me back Tuesday. Other than Tuesday and Wednesday I can't help. I have stuff to do. I'm really frustrated with his family. But its all going to start again today when he wakes up.

I need some advice

You don't seem to be getting the point that there is a good reason why his own daughter doesn't want him there.
No it's not being NICE it's enabling.

How did he suddenly become homeless? He must have lived somewhere before and had notice that he had to leave, so why wasn’t he pro-active during that time in getting somewhere else?

what was his plan and what would have happened if you didn’t step in?

I mean even his own flesh and blood is not willing to help him so I think this tells you something.

His daughter is prioritising herself over him for a reason. You probably know why more than anyone here.

He private rented. Got a section 21

He's on pip and UC which gives him around £990 a month.

There's no way he will get anywhere private. He's too skint. He's never been in a council property.

So far they don't call back not even the emrgancy number called him back after being really positive in the original call.

Because the council are not interested. He has contacted them.

She helped him for 5 nights but had friends that have travelled etc. She's very sociable and I think she just hasn't got any room for him and his dogs a massive inconvenience

I do she has a house full she's 25 and it was planned in advance.

He's got to keep chasing them.

Do you mean he's got a dog or multiple dogs?

@Livesinashoe7 so he actually just left his house when he was served a section 21??? he has made himself homeless instead of waiting till he was evicted!! he was stupid doing that!

I hoped this would be a couple of weeks.

You get to say if you're offering a favour and it's a couple of weeks, not hope it is. You have not been specific about the "history" but unless there is some situation where you're indebted to this man and his inconvenient dog then my advice would be that you tell him that you are not able to house him.

What he does then is up to him, not up to you to manage. This might not be his fault, but it is his responsibility, not yours.

The alternative is that you keep rolling over and opening the door and you will remain in this position. He will be living with you. If this is not what you want, because that's not what is best for you, or for your children, then you need to deal with it now, not stick your head in the sand and wait for it to go away. It won't.

He needs to be very pushy and pro active with the council.
Since he has no outgoings what does his £990 pm go on?
In 8 mths of dossing about he cld have saved a deposit for a flat. He can contact Cinnamon Trust for support with his dog.

I'd be surprised if he could find a landlord who was happy to rent given his income - a guarantor would be required. In fact vast majority of properties in the market require a guarantor if someone is on benefits/has a low income.

People really do not understand how bad the housing situation is.

And as for the council - they do not have a duty to house if under the section 21 notice the OPs friend simply complied and left the property - this will be seen as him having made himself intentionally homeless.

I was referring to a Pp

Absolutely this
They won't call him.
He has to get a HO, wait for a written plan -usually email and then when he has that present to Housing offices as homeless.
He will be waiting forever if he waits for a call.
Edit section 21 crikey yes he should have waited to be evicted !

If he’s within London you could try street link or st mungos to help him with somewhere to stay.

I think that even if people really do understand how bad the housing situation is, OP should not feel under any duress to invite an unwanted man and his dog to live in her home, with her children. The advice remains the same, regardless of what his next move might be, or what his options are.

Honestly, He does not have to sit in a park in the cold. He can go to a shopping centre & at least be warm indoors in opening hours, there are places to sit.
Sorry but his daughter could reduce her socializing/ staying guests & have her Dad to stay till he's back on his feet.

Or to a library in opening hours to use their computers to chase up support, fostering for his dog or potential rooms.

He could surely afford a house share on £990 a month? Is the dog the issue in that scenario?

OP Im not sure that you know what you want from this thread. People are suggesting ways to change the situation but you seem to block each one. You know its unsustainable so something will have to change ..what will that be?

Im also v interested in knowing where the grand a month is being spent

I should add, Im not saying £990 per month is a lot to live on, but he doesn’t have many bills at the moment does he?

The grand a month was going on his bills. We are 2.5 weeks Into this. Pay day is Tuesday! His rent was £520 a month. Council tax £100ish. Gas and electric £80 phone bill £30 Internet £25. Water £20. Food with the rest I guess. He smokes a pouch of tobacco a week.

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to get either. Just fed up I guess.

I don't think he's looked into house shares. Where we live you'd not wanna house share. There's alot of hmo. Full of dealers and addicts. I guess he could sort of consider it in certain places buy wouldn't be local.

I personally think hes mad having the dog. But it's his comfort in life. He won't give it up. Doesn't mean I don't have an opinion on it but not my choice.