My husband is a 'Mean Girl'

[eyesrollingmama]

I've been married for 5 years this year and we have just had our second baby (8 weeks postpartum).
My husband is what i like to call a 'mean girl'. Like, he will pick out your flaws in a banter like manner and will make it funny. He talks like this to everyone and will say he is just saying the truth even if it can be harsh.
A bit of context, he is a female hairdresser so he is used to engaging in that bitchy type conversation (not that i ever do it, nor know any girls who do lol). He has a lot of friends who tell him he's a 'b*tch' but they all encourage him also. He is a very confident and cocky guy also.
So, this is the norm for him, but, as you can imagine it does start to get to you. He will constantly mention my appearing double chin or my squiggy tummy or criticise the way i find a safe place to park (which is bloody hard these days with all the different parking regs everywhere!). He will say i sit down all day (i'm breastfeeding!) he rarely says i look pretty, he will constantly say things like "when you loose weight...", "when you start taking care of yourself...".
Most of the time i ignore him, sometimes i poke fun back but other time it does really hurt and I go away and have a little cry.
Take this morning for example, in the car to drop off my son to nursery and then my husband to the train station. In the short space of 5 mins all i heard was comments about my appearance, my driving, then not stopping on a yellow line so he can run to the nursery quick. I snapped. I shouted for him to get our sons coat. Since then he has called me an animal for raising my voice and has given me the silent treatment.
He doesn't understand how his words affect me, no matter how i try to explain it. He doesn't understand that i get incredibly overwhelmed sometimes and he criticises my snappyness.
Am i overacting here? Is this daily criticising normal in a marriage? Do I allow it because it his character?
Help me please, need some advice :)

I think men in general are getting more toxic.
My boyfriend at 18 was a top hairdresser. He had a complimentary word for everyone. Young or old.

I would not put up with this.
He either stops or you leave him. Your DC will grow up thinking this is acceptable.

I work in beauty and I do find male employees a pain in the arse.
Once your DC is in nursery it would be a big shut the fu*k up from me.

You're tired and postpartum so feeling sensitive, BUT he sounds a vile, arrogant, spiteful bully with no self worth if he has to big himself up all the time by putting others down. Has he always behaved like this with you (never mind other people!), or just since the birth of your DC? He should be supporting you now, not playing the big guy.

I think you need to have a calm chat, tell him how his words make you feel, and draw a line in the sand with him. Do you want your DC hearing how he speaks to you and start to copy him, or your DC be on the receiving end of his vileness as they grow up? Does he have any real friends or just people who bitch at work with him?

He sounds thoroughly obnoxious!

I trained at the Sassoon Academy in London and his sort of ‘banter’ would not be tolerated there and he’d be given a warning and let go if it continued.

Honestly, I’d leave him unless he accepts he is wrong and promises to change. But I suspect he thinks he’s a superior male and probably says shit like “you’re just too sensitive”.

He's not a 'mean girl' he's a prick.

He puts you down to big himself up.
I think he has issues.
But he's horrible to you
The marriage is not sustainable unless he gets himself sorted.

Sometimes when I read posts like this I wonder about the woman involved and think "was he like this at the start? If he was, why did you stay? Why does X behaviour bother you now? Has it intensified?"

I don't get it, but conversely, I understand that he may not have always been this way or you may have left early on. Either way, it is time to be assertive and tell him (as a PP mentions) that whilst it may have been previously funny or acceptable to you, it isn't any more and he has to STOP. Work persona and home persona.

Reacting with the silent treatment is completely childish. He sounds immature tbh - and there's not much you can do about that!

You're living with the school bully. He's awful and you shouldn't put up with it. Note his sulking when you criticise him or pull him up on his behaviour. He can dish it out but can't take it.

I feel so, so sad for you and your kids that you for whatever reason couldn't see, even though he was literally being horrible to you day in and day out under the pretence of banter, that he's a horrible person. Imagine a little girl growing up with a dad commeting on her weight constantly, that's how people grow up with eating disorders. I'm so sorry that for whatever reason you have been brainwashed into thinking it's banter even though he's been told its hurtful. It's not banter if the other person isn't laughing, it's bullying. I'm so sorry your kids are going to have to grow up with a dad like this. My dad's like this and we've all got issues because of it. It was a blessed relief when my parents divorced. He can also do a convincing pretence of being a 'nice guy' when he suits, which is what i imagine he did long enough for you to get pregnant twice. I'm just so sad reading this.

I think that's an unreasonable generalisation.

Is he a twat as he must get comments being a male in a traditionally female role? So he gets in first with the insults

Is this daily criticising normal in a marriage?

No. He's a cunt.

This.

My pp was basically trying to say this but people took it as “be abusive”.

I actually learned this from my ex’s brothers girlfriend. She came into our lives and took no shit from the boys and was really funny with it. It was a joy to watch.