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Original poster

Absolutely grossed out by partners sexual history

114 replies

LeoLibra18 · 25/02/2025 18:53

Not sure how people will respond to this but I met my partner at work, and we've been on and off (more on than off) for around 3 years.
I slept with someone else at work and I told him this and he was horrified. (You know the one... Workplace fling and all that)
SINCE THEN I have learned that he has had multiple sexual partners met at work, and he thinks I've not added all of this up with timings and that, and there's cross overs which he denies, but it's obvious he's been playing the field... I think I've realised that actually, he's a bit of a dog. Or at least he used to be before he met me.
Part of me thinks... Well I've got no room to talk because I've done it, but only the once. I'm pretty sure he's hitting double figures just from work, god knows about the rest outside and before he worked at that place. I genuinely can't wrap my head round it. I feel like a notch on the bedpost. I feel like just another bird. Has anyone else been with a stud? Because I don't think I can cope with it, it makes me feel sick😩

OP posts:
Namsara · 25/02/2025 18:55

You're off and on
You're sickened by his sexual history

Why are you together?

MounjaroOnMyMind · 25/02/2025 18:55

So don't go out with him? I wouldn't respect an adult man who shags everyone he can get hold of at work, either.

WinterBones · 25/02/2025 18:55

Yes, and it doesn't bother me, because he is with me now. His life before me is irrelevant, as long as he is healthy, which he is.

Get a grip.

AdoraBell · 25/02/2025 18:57

Dump him, it’s given the ick and I would get the ick too.

SodOffbacktoaibu · 25/02/2025 19:00

Wow. .your workplace sounds like an HR nightmare.

Original poster
LeoLibra18 · 25/02/2025 19:02

SodOffbacktoaibu · 25/02/2025 19:00

Wow. .your workplace sounds like an HR nightmare.

Giiiiiiiiirl you've got no idea 😂

OP posts:
Bigwitsits · 25/02/2025 19:03

It sounds like a bad habit that’s not likely to go away. I had a colleague who’d slept with a lot of women at work. It didn’t end, despite having a nice wife then dp once the wife found out. He always seemed to need to bolster his giant ego by scoring another notch on his bedpost.

Original poster
LeoLibra18 · 25/02/2025 19:04

You know what, this post isn't that deep, there's no need for anyone to be rude and telling me to get a grip, keyboard warrior mentality and I'm not here for that, I'm here for similar stories and maybe some kindness, my mother raised me as an emotionless knuckledragger, and women than are nasty to other women are exactly why she raised me that way. What happened to women supporting women.

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 25/02/2025 19:04

Stud? Bird? This reads like a 70s soap opera.

CuteEasterBunny · 25/02/2025 19:05

On/off is a bit of a joke in itself.

TwistedWonder · 25/02/2025 19:05

SodOffbacktoaibu · 25/02/2025 19:00

Wow. .your workplace sounds like an HR nightmare.

As an HR manager - I’m so pleased I don’t work here.

My office door would be revolving with the office shaggers

Namsara · 25/02/2025 19:06

LeoLibra18 · 25/02/2025 19:04

You know what, this post isn't that deep, there's no need for anyone to be rude and telling me to get a grip, keyboard warrior mentality and I'm not here for that, I'm here for similar stories and maybe some kindness, my mother raised me as an emotionless knuckledragger, and women than are nasty to other women are exactly why she raised me that way. What happened to women supporting women.

What are you talking about? Some people agree with you, some don't. Did you want everyone to be kind?

TwistedWonder · 25/02/2025 19:07

icelollycraving · 25/02/2025 19:04

Stud? Bird? This reads like a 70s soap opera.

I’m hearing the Benny Hill theme in my head

purplecorkheart · 25/02/2025 19:07

I would dump him personally.

The fact that he holds you to different standards than he himself sticks to.

The fact that he seems to be sleeping with anyone in work. I am sorry to say but I would be worried that I would be another notch on his bedpost.

Honestly, do you 100% trust him. You are worth so much more

Original poster
LeoLibra18 · 25/02/2025 19:14

That was one of my issues, that I felt sick telling him about this other guy before I met him, I felt guilty and shameful, and I think he feels shame whenever it's brought up, and I get you can't change your past, but i just think, how am I any different? And I'll never know the extent of these relationships or lack thereof with these other women. Like other posters have said, it's a bit of an ick now. I could have put up with one or two but even now, new names are coming out from years ago and I think, bloody hell? How many girls are there?

For those that say why are you with him? It's a tricky one, but the most important thing above all else, I love this guy...

OP posts:
Original poster
LeoLibra18 · 25/02/2025 19:15

TwistedWonder · 25/02/2025 19:05

As an HR manager - I’m so pleased I don’t work here.

My office door would be revolving with the office shaggers

Show quote history

Is this a thing? Can people get in trouble for this at work? Even if the relations are outside of work?

Thanks

OP posts:
WinterBones · 25/02/2025 19:15

"I genuinely can't wrap my head round it. I feel like a notch on the bedpost. I feel like just another bird. Has anyone else been with a stud? Because I don't think I can cope with it, it makes me feel sick😩"

Strangely emotional handwringing for
"This post isn't that deep"

It clearly is if you're on here telling us you feel sick and that you can't cope/get your head around his body count.

you asked if anyone else had been in that situation, i answered, and yes, you ought to either dump him or get over it.

yourmaw · 25/02/2025 19:16

A stud? If he was some sorta iconic pinup youd have known. ....at best hes probably been mr occassional tuesday night- community penis!
Regardless. you either accept him as is,today or...dont.

Namsara · 25/02/2025 19:16

For those that say why are you with him? It's a tricky one, but the most important thing above all else, I love this guy...

But he makes you sick and has double standards about sexual history? Don't you deserve better?

Original poster
LeoLibra18 · 25/02/2025 19:18

WinterBones · 25/02/2025 19:15

"I genuinely can't wrap my head round it. I feel like a notch on the bedpost. I feel like just another bird. Has anyone else been with a stud? Because I don't think I can cope with it, it makes me feel sick😩"

Strangely emotional handwringing for
"This post isn't that deep"

It clearly is if you're on here telling us you feel sick and that you can't cope/get your head around his body count.

you asked if anyone else had been in that situation, i answered, and yes, you ought to either dump him or get over it.

No but why are you being rude though? It's like you've come on here to pick a fight...

OP posts:
Original poster
LeoLibra18 · 25/02/2025 19:19

Namsara · 25/02/2025 19:16

For those that say why are you with him? It's a tricky one, but the most important thing above all else, I love this guy...

But he makes you sick and has double standards about sexual history? Don't you deserve better?

Yeah I do yeah, you're absolutely right, but I can't stay away from him and it's sad, and embarrassing

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 25/02/2025 19:21

LeoLibra18 · 25/02/2025 19:15

Is this a thing? Can people get in trouble for this at work? Even if the relations are outside of work?

Thanks

Show quote history

In my industry it’s a disciplinary offence to not declare a workplace relationship.

If two people are on same team, one has to be moved to another department.

Mum2Fergus · 25/02/2025 19:21

'Or at least he used to be before he met me.'

Hmm 🤔 are you sure about that?

Original poster
LeoLibra18 · 25/02/2025 19:24

TwistedWonder · 25/02/2025 19:21

In my industry it’s a disciplinary offence to not declare a workplace relationship.

If two people are on same team, one has to be moved to another department.

Edited
Show quote history

My work would be so much safer if we had that policy in place, I should query it with my HR department and ask what our practice is. Because there are men a lot worse in my place, and I always think (insecurely) if my partner went elsewhere in work, I always wonder how HR would respond

OP posts:
WinterBones · 25/02/2025 19:24

Sorry, i don't intend to come across as rude, i'm sometimes just blunt/to the point... i'm a bit tired/crabby atm.

I'll try again, a bit more politely i hope!

Ultimately he is who he is, and is past is what it is, and you can't change that any more than you can change yours. If you love him like you do, but this is giving you an ick, you're going to have to think long and hard about if you can have a future with him.

You're either going to have to 'get over it' and try to come to terms with his past, or you leave him and find better. there really isn't a middle ground in this situation (Talking from experiences here)

At the end of the day, what matters is who he is now, how he treats you now, and if he isn't treating you well, or there are other red flags, then the best choice is to walk away.

If you keep going, and this continues to be an issue for you, its going to make any future you have with him really hard.