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Original poster

FWB

139 replies

BeRoseScroller · 20/02/2025 19:44

does anyone else have any experience with fwb? I’ve just started my first one, I’m 43 single with 4 kids please dont judge! We set rules a few weeks ago, so no catching feelings, be honest truthful etc -met up for the first time this week and the sex was great. He wants to get involved with us inviting other people to join in, first one next Thursday with someone he knows. I stayed over at his we got on well he text the next morning to ask how I was feeling, said he really enjoyed it etc. just looking for experience or feedback from others who have been in this situation! Tia x

OP posts:
Gymbunny2025 · 20/02/2025 19:54

There's a lot about what he feels and wants. I think especially with a FWB you need to only focus on what YOU want. Did you go looking for threesomes etc? If not I'd walk away now tbh

CuteEasterBunny · 20/02/2025 19:56

I had a FWB but nobody else ever joined in. It sounds like he’s a bit of a user and seeing how far he can push you.

Mine used to relax with me, go for food and be great friends. Yours sounds like he may see you as an object.

Alwaysbackandforth · 20/02/2025 19:58

Sounds as though you are moving things on very fast if you've only just started your arrangement with him and yet you are already introducing other people in to the mix.
I hope you will be careful about your safety if you are meeting 2 men who you hardly know for sex. You are putting yourself in a very vulnerable position.

Dillydollydingdong · 20/02/2025 19:59

I'd be very wary. You've only just started seeing this man and already he wants to include other people? You hardly know him! And no I haven't been in this situation, and wouldn't want to be!

Lostworlds · 20/02/2025 20:01

I’ve had a fwb but we took it a lot slower. He already wants to add someone to the mix, just remember to go at a pace you’re happy with. I’d also suggest finding out a bit about the other person he wants to add, make sure you’re comfortable with who it is as you also have a say!

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 20/02/2025 20:06

Yes I’m definitely wary, before we met he was like oh I like you more than friends with benefits, so confusing.

OP posts:
Gymbunny2025 · 20/02/2025 20:07

He said that before you met?! How could he know that?

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 20/02/2025 20:08

Gymbunny2025 · 20/02/2025 20:07

He said that before you met?! How could he know that?

I know, exactly what I thought!

OP posts:
Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 20/02/2025 20:10

Alwaysbackandforth · 20/02/2025 19:58

Sounds as though you are moving things on very fast if you've only just started your arrangement with him and yet you are already introducing other people in to the mix.
I hope you will be careful about your safety if you are meeting 2 men who you hardly know for sex. You are putting yourself in a very vulnerable position.

It’s with another girl not with 2 men and he’s using protection all new to me though! 🙈

OP posts:
Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 20/02/2025 20:12

Basically he said why don’t we be a fwb couple but sleep with other people 🙈 confusion city

OP posts:
Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 20/02/2025 20:14

🚩 so, so, so messy. You are about to feel so crappy about yourself when this goes tits up.
This is not FWB, it’s random creepy man sending mixed messages whilst using you to get a thrill out of seeing how low he can get you to stoop. He cares not a jot about you, your feelings or any dignity.

Alwaysbackandforth · 20/02/2025 20:15

You sound very casual about this OP.
As though you are just going along with everything he wants.
Sounds like he's really on to a good thing.

Foodoverload · 20/02/2025 20:16

Be careful. A FWB is supposed to be fun with no stresses of a relationship. If it’s confusing you get out.

I have had FWBs and it was relaxed. We had food, chilled together and sex and enjoyed each other. We knew there was no expectations. I did make sure they were not sleeping with others. It was exclusive company without the stress of a relationship

Scissor · 20/02/2025 20:16

The friend bit is actually important.
This doesn't sound anything like a friend.

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 20/02/2025 20:17

Scissor · 20/02/2025 20:16

The friend bit is actually important.
This doesn't sound anything like a friend.

How do you mean?

OP posts:
Gymbunny2025 · 20/02/2025 20:18

I would assume he is already sleeping with this other woman he is suggesting a threesome with. Are you ok with more of a casual non exclusive fuck buddy type arrangement?

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 20/02/2025 20:19

Gymbunny2025 · 20/02/2025 20:18

I would assume he is already sleeping with this other woman he is suggesting a threesome with. Are you ok with more of a casual non exclusive fuck buddy type arrangement?

He slept with her once in the past apparently 🤷‍♀️ all new to me

OP posts:
Lostworlds · 20/02/2025 20:22

I agree with others, I think he’s already sleeping with the other woman and you’re maybe the 3rd person so they can have a threesome.

I think you need to pause and think about what you want from this. It’s moving very fast and he’s giving some mixed messages. Like a pp has said, my fwb, we were more like close friends. It was easy going, no pressure and clear boundaries but we weren’t sleeping with anyone else.

Crushed23 · 20/02/2025 20:22

I have a FWB but no one else joins in (but no judgement if you enjoy threesomes).

It's complicated with us because he wanted to date seriously and I had to tell him at the outset that I wanted to keep it casual. He seemed okay with it but his behaviour since suggests that it fell on deaf ears. He's VERY keen and despite us having only been on 4 dates, he does things like buy me presents, make me something as a Valentine's present, plan romantic dates, talk about road trips he wants to take me on in summer etc.

I'm enjoying the attention so I'm not doing as much as I could to nip this behaviour in the bud. It's very messy. I think we're just going to both end up getting very, very hurt.

So no advice except don't assume you can make a keen guy accept FWB status. 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 20/02/2025 20:25

Crushed23 · 20/02/2025 20:22

I have a FWB but no one else joins in (but no judgement if you enjoy threesomes).

It's complicated with us because he wanted to date seriously and I had to tell him at the outset that I wanted to keep it casual. He seemed okay with it but his behaviour since suggests that it fell on deaf ears. He's VERY keen and despite us having only been on 4 dates, he does things like buy me presents, make me something as a Valentine's present, plan romantic dates, talk about road trips he wants to take me on in summer etc.

I'm enjoying the attention so I'm not doing as much as I could to nip this behaviour in the bud. It's very messy. I think we're just going to both end up getting very, very hurt.

So no advice except don't assume you can make a keen guy accept FWB status. 🤷‍♀️

Thanks that’s interesting to hear, so he’s keen on you more than fwb. So far with mine there’s nothing to suggest that,

OP posts:
Scissor · 20/02/2025 20:26

BeRoseScroller · 20/02/2025 20:17

How do you mean?

Show quote history

FWB friend with benefits, you do stuff together as friends.. When I did this we saw each other for a gig maybe, drinks meals etc but if we met someone we had feelings for then absolutely no way would that continue..
FB fuck buddy.. That's where I got burnt, used to be a saying . Deliver yourself up like free pizza. Luckily I learnt the lesson swift, fast and never repeated.

outerspacepotato · 20/02/2025 20:27

Why are you choosing this?

This isn't FWB. You don't even know the 3rd person or other people he wants to add.

DuchessDissasster · 20/02/2025 20:28

You keep on saying " all new to me " and 🤷‍♀️ ...... if this is genuine I would say to you think on this a while. Are you so desperate for sex that you would go with a guy you have had sex once with to a multiple situation? Already you are not enough for him.

Coconutter24 · 20/02/2025 20:28

BeRoseScroller · 20/02/2025 20:06

Yes I’m definitely wary, before we met he was like oh I like you more than friends with benefits, so confusing.

He likes you more than fwb? That was clearly a line to get you to agree to his threesome idea

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 20/02/2025 20:29

Coconutter24 · 20/02/2025 20:28

He likes you more than fwb? That was clearly a line to get you to agree to his threesome idea

Show quote history

I did think that yes x

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