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Original poster

Curious - if you're married, do you celebrate valentines?

166 replies

Geordiebabe85 · 14/02/2025 20:06

Just that really, do married couples celebrate valentines day? When dating my dh always bought a card and a small gift but since we got married, nothing. Its literally a normal day. I used to buy him something small but I've now given up.
Just wondering if it's just us.

OP posts:
mydogisthebest · 15/02/2025 07:54

Completelyjo · 15/02/2025 07:48

we don’t need one specific day to celebrate our love for each other.

I always find this take hilarious. It comes across as protesting too much in order to feel better.
I mean, no one “needs” one specific day to tell them to appreciate their partner! People who do celebrate properly do just as much as got throughout the rest of the year.
It’s just interesting, it’s not an argument that gets used for Mother’s Day, birthdays, Christmas.

I could not agree more. Always seems to me that those posters think they have some superior love to those of us who do celebrate.

A couple of years ago we invited new neighbours in for a drink around Valentines. She noticed our cards on the mantlepiece and said "Oh we don't believe in Valentines as we show love year round". I remembered that a couple of weeks later when they were screaming abuse at each other and then all the other times they shouted and swore at each other (he seemed to like calling her a fucking cunt!). They split up about 5 months later.

NagathaCrispy · 15/02/2025 07:55

It is also our wedding anniversary, so, yes we used to celebrate it every year.

This year, however, my DH's advancing dementia meant he completely forgot, and seemed surprised when I reminded him by handing him a glass of wine after we had eaten dinner. Feeling a little bit sad, if I'm honest 😢but worth keeping in mind if you're one of the people who don't bother to celebrate.

Faultymain5 · 15/02/2025 07:57

we stopped celebrating valentines about 3 years into our relationship. Better to arrange to do something before or after or just whenever you fancy. Exchanged texts with him yesterday. Planned on an M&S dinner like we used to do when dating but it was so cold we did what we always do on a Friday and got a delivery.😂

PiastriThePastry · 15/02/2025 08:02

Nope, it’s not really for us, and wasn’t before marriage either (married 6 years, together nearly 10) Some years we’ll go for one of the ‘fancier’ meal deal options from m&s or similar if we happen to be in the shop/nearby but we didn’t even do that this year. I’m very heavily pregnant and DH is working 16+ hour days, so last night it was quarter of a Harry Potter film with a hot chocolate (he did put mini marshmallows on it to be fair!) before falling asleep on the sofa 😂

MystyLuna · 16/02/2025 13:13

We celebrated our very first valentines day together (14 years ago).
38 weeks later I gave birth to our son.
We haven't celebrated valentines day since.

Swiftie1878 · 16/02/2025 13:13

Of course, yes.

Threegirlsonemum · 16/02/2025 13:15

Yes we do. We think it's important to keep the spark and after 10 years together we must be doing something right, as we still act like loved up teenagers. We do cards and presents and either go out for a nice meal or cook a meal together.

AGoodDayToDie · 16/02/2025 13:18

of course we do

married 36 years

ColesCorner7814 · 16/02/2025 13:21

Married 24 years - card and a small gift as always. Token gesture really.

TipsyJoker · 16/02/2025 13:22

Yes we usually get each other a card and a small gift. Nothing extravagant but just something to show our appreciation. People can say, oh it’s commercialised and why do I need a day to show I love someone. You don’t need a day but why not take every opportunity to show each other you care? We do valentines, anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, and sometimes just days throughout the year for no reason. It’s all part of a bigger picture of how we show appreciation for each other. My husband made me a card this year which I thought was lovely.

imtheholidayarmadillo · 16/02/2025 13:22

Yes we do. Been together 25 years.

BoredZelda · 16/02/2025 13:25

No, and we didn't before we were married either. I haven't been bothered about it since I left school.

Expecting a partner to plan the perfect day and the perfect gift, year on year is unsustainable and it sets them up for a fall.

If it forms part of your relationships and you are happy with it, then enjoy it. But that's not for me.

wildfellhall · 16/02/2025 13:32

We just do valentines, men always homemade, his vary.
I got tea in bed on the day and nothing else. We would never go out to a restaurant.
We do really nice meal around our anniversary.
We both hate the high expectation thing. It feels aggressive to me to expect someone to 'be' romantic on a commercialized day - but if we're younger and dating I would expect something thoughtful but not something g extravagant

wildfellhall · 16/02/2025 13:32

Mine is always homemade

HappyMummaOfOne · 16/02/2025 13:57

Not really but we use it as an excuse to get a “fancy” M&S meal to enjoy after the kids are in bed 😂

SholaA · 16/02/2025 14:01

He got me a card. I didn’t get him one. He is pissing me off at the moment anyway.

User19876536484 · 16/02/2025 14:02

Another “not really”. DH does usually give me a card but that’s about it. I usually forget. I’m generally terrible with cards of any type though.

Umidontknow · 16/02/2025 14:50

No 😆 never been fussed about valentines day as an adult

Divaprincess · 16/02/2025 14:59

we wish each other happy valentines day, maybe go out for meal if it's the weekend or get a takeaway and some wine and have a bonk , no cards or pressie though

Emmz1510 · 16/02/2025 16:23

My husband usually buys me and dd something, chocolate or a wee rose each or bunch of flowers. We don’t do cards. I’ll usually buy him his favourite treat- a terrys chocolate orange, peanut m&ms or wine gums.

JerseyCrow · 16/02/2025 16:32

BoredZelda · 16/02/2025 13:25

No, and we didn't before we were married either. I haven't been bothered about it since I left school.

Expecting a partner to plan the perfect day and the perfect gift, year on year is unsustainable and it sets them up for a fall.

If it forms part of your relationships and you are happy with it, then enjoy it. But that's not for me.

I'm not sure anyone here is expecting their partner to plan the perfect day. I don't think that has to be how Valentine's Day goes at all.

But then I'm not a woman who expects chivalry and grand gestures because I find them false and often icky.

DarkForces · 16/02/2025 16:35

BlueRaincoat1 · 14/02/2025 20:11

We give each other a card and usually have what we call a 'romance dinner' (I.e. steak and wine,, after the kids have gone to bed). It's nice.

Same. Nice meal and a card. This year we cooked together and had a decent bottle of red. Got dh some dark chocolate hearts this year too but don't usually bother.

NotaRealHousewife · 16/02/2025 17:07

Yes, we do cards and a small gift

NotaRealHousewife · 16/02/2025 17:07

It's usually a humorous card though 😆

2Rebecca · 16/02/2025 17:44

Yes. We get each other cards and my husband got me an Easter egg which we shared. We rarely eat out on the 14th as too busy and some restaurants increase the prices. My husband cooked dinner as he often does as I was working. He's retired. I thought about discussing a special dinner but decided that would turn in to a debate about what sort of food is "romantic" and dinner would become my problem so left him to it