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Original poster

Should I be worried, I found my partners internet activity

152 replies

jellycatlover · 13/02/2025 10:11

I'm 44 and with my partner 41 who is an amazing man in so many ways. We have a wonderful relationship, but I've always had trust issues, due to previous relationships where my trust was broken due to cheating. He has never cheated and we have a healthy sex life. But every now and then I get the urge to "keep tabs" on him, find ways to see what he's up to online.

A few days ago I checked his deleted emails on our laptop, and discovered that he has used a site to create AI nudes using photos, multiple times. When I asked him he said he used my own photos to do this and it was just curiosity and messing around, and even sent me 2 photos of me that he created in these sites, I suppose to put my mind at ease, as my first instinct is that he has been uploading other womens photos, like of attractive women he knows/works with. He denies strongly that he has done this. But I have a feeling thats he's lying as I find it so hard to believe that he's used these sites that many times just to upload a few images of me. and to clarity, it's not like he doesn't already have photos of me already.

am I right to feel worried that he might have used other womens photos also? also part of me is pissed that he had admitted using my own photos, firstly without my consent, and secondly, why would he want to alter my body in images to make it look better?

My head is hurting so bad thinking about this, and trying to find a way to move on from it, and I'm trying not to over react, but I feel so hurt. And I also know that it's really wrong to check up on him like this.

OP posts:
ByRealSheep · 13/02/2025 15:53

Bountychocolate · 13/02/2025 15:49

What was the website he used called OP?

If you want transparency, you could ask him to show you the folder in the phone where the images are saved. If he shows you immediately, you'll know there are not other images there.

If he messes with his phone / takes it away before showing you, he's deleting stuff.

If he refuses to show you, he's hiding stuff.

If he has half a brain, he’d have deleted any other photos already.

moanaom · 13/02/2025 15:53

SheridansPortSalut · 13/02/2025 13:14

You've both broken each other's trust here. Neither of you can trust the other. It doesn't sound like the wonderful relationship that you say it is.

This.

You've been snooping around in his emails, he's been using your photo without consent.

Both as bad as each other tbh.

I can't see how there can be much trust on either side after this.

Original poster
jellycatlover · 13/02/2025 15:56

ByRealSheep · 13/02/2025 15:45

It’s a violation of your trust and consent.

If it’s other women’s photos too - creepy and, to me, beyond normal porn use.

(Not that him doing it with your images wasn’t creepy too).

What did he do to them?

Were they non explicit photos that he made explicit? Did he increase the nudity or …?

i don’t understand why he was editing them.

(And how exactly do you stumble across software/site like that).

Edited
Show quote history

The original photos I was clothed in them, one of then was suggestive in that I was posing in a sexy way. The AI photos were fully nude, with a body not like my own (perfect boob's, stomach etc) so they do not resemble what I look like naked at all. And he does have photos of me naked already.

OP posts:
ByRealSheep · 13/02/2025 15:59

•Both as bad as each other tbh.•

Are they fuck!

Original poster
jellycatlover · 13/02/2025 16:00

Bountychocolate · 13/02/2025 15:49

What was the website he used called OP?

If you want transparency, you could ask him to show you the folder in the phone where the images are saved. If he shows you immediately, you'll know there are not other images there.

If he messes with his phone / takes it away before showing you, he's deleting stuff.

If he refuses to show you, he's hiding stuff.

The site is called Undress.app

OP posts:
Lookuptotheskies · 13/02/2025 16:02

I think it's massively grim of him that he already has nude pics of you but has made some more with your face but an "improved" body. What a dick move!

If he was that curious about the use of AI like this he could have used a photo of himself, a stranger, anyone! And he could have given them silly bodies, random tattoos, etc but nope he's made a pornificated version of YOU without your consent. 😡

ByRealSheep · 13/02/2025 16:02

jellycatlover · 13/02/2025 15:56

The original photos I was clothed in them, one of then was suggestive in that I was posing in a sexy way. The AI photos were fully nude, with a body not like my own (perfect boob's, stomach etc) so they do not resemble what I look like naked at all. And he does have photos of me naked already.

Show quote history

Totally aside from the consent issue - which is huge - I’d feel offended, hurt, demeaned and deflated by my partner doing that.

He has nude photos of me but would rather stick my head on someone (a model) else’s body and look at/do wherever over that.

I don’t think there is a person on this planet who wouldn’t feel deflated and low about that,

ByRealSheep · 13/02/2025 16:05

I’d like to see how happy, confident and loving he’d feel in your relationship if he’d sent you some pics - clothed and unclothed and you took the clothed ones and used an app/site to merge his photo with a guy with a gym-bod and a bigger cock.

To me, it doesn’t matter that he was doing this behind your back/secretly and probably never expected you to know …. It was that he was doing it at all, and that he didn’t have your consent to do stuff with your photos.

mewkins · 13/02/2025 16:06

WaHaHa99 · 13/02/2025 15:12

Are you OPs partner, or a man?

Show quote history

I think it is an AI generated reply.

What he's doing is a massive breach of trust. I'd also be concerned about what he was doing with these images and who he was sharing them with.

recipientofraspberries · 13/02/2025 16:13

Lots of people think AI is some kind of private, secure void into which they can input anything, receive what they want, close it up and wash their hands of it. Not so. The data put into AI servers is stored! Looking at and using that data is how AI is trained. That's why you shouldn't put sensitive, personal or private information into it (or indeed anywhere online). The images he's created using his icky app are now in that AI.

W0tnow · 13/02/2025 16:21

Specso · 13/02/2025 15:25

I’m shocked by some of these responses that anyone would find this ok.

He’s uploaded pictures of you to the internet WITHOUT your consent and created fake nude pictures of you. Sites can get hacked and the idea that these could end up leaked or distributed for others to see makes me feel sick.

If my partner was doing this it would put me off him to be honest. It’s creepy, weird and grim. It’s not about policing his thoughts and fantasies, he’s created naked pictures of his partner on the internet without her consent. Just not ok.

Right???

OP, raise your bar a little!

Original poster
jellycatlover · 13/02/2025 16:23

mewkins · 13/02/2025 16:06

I think it is an AI generated reply.

What he's doing is a massive breach of trust. I'd also be concerned about what he was doing with these images and who he was sharing them with.

Show quote history

I was actually second guessing myself after reading that reply, feeling like I'm completely overacting 😅
If it was an AI reply, it was right about my part in this and me not trusting him because of my own past, but I'm not buying the part about AI nudes being a form of art.

OP posts:
TheThreeCheesesOfTheApocalypse44 · 13/02/2025 16:27

Having read of what some freaks are using these AI sites for him using them to create images of adult women would be the least of my worries......if I were you I'd be doing my best to get into his phone and see what he's really been doing on there.

HardenYourHeart · 13/02/2025 16:35

Huge, violation of trust. And yes, I am sorry OP, but those photo's are on a server somewhere. You "partner" is either a liar or an idiot if he claims that's not the case.

This would make me so mad. I wouldn't be able to forgive this. It's so disrespectful.

Edited to add: I never agreed to take or let someone take nudes of me, because I was always worried where they would eventually end up. Now that worry is a mood point, since every day photo's, my exes have of me, could be turned into this shit. I even removed all of my photo's online (as much as I remember them), but now any asshole I took a picture with can do this to me. I hate this world and I can never trust men again.

Snoopydroopy · 13/02/2025 16:37

Dealbreaker. And shocked at some replies that you're more in the wrong. Why do we keep excusing men for their debased behaviour? Shrug our shoulders and say it's just a bit of fun/ not a threat/your issue. This is completely perverse to me and would be the end of my relationship.

Snoopydroopy · 13/02/2025 16:40

ByRealSheep · 13/02/2025 15:38

And I also know that it's really wrong to check up on him like this.

People often do that when their spidery senses are pinging. And they’re often correct.

Many people have been saved from all sorts due to a bit of snooping. They’d never have known crucial things otherwise.

The the anti snoop brigade on here is almost hilarious - I sometimes wonder if a poster reported they’d discovered their partner had killed someone, through snooping ; that they’d still be focusing on the snooping.

This. The anti snoop brigade. In almost every case it's a good fucking job they did snoop. Incredible attitude. I almost have to believe it's trolling or men?

tygertygers · 13/02/2025 16:41

He's giving images of you to an AI company. You have no control over what happens with them now.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 13/02/2025 16:42

He needs to become your ex. He would certainly not be as forgiving of you if the shoe was on the other foot. And the posters who do not think this is an issue have a pitifully low relationship bar

Snoopydroopy · 13/02/2025 16:45

AttilaTheMeerkat · 13/02/2025 16:42

He needs to become your ex. He would certainly not be as forgiving of you if the shoe was on the other foot. And the posters who do not think this is an issue have a pitifully low relationship bar

Dumbsnet

I can't believe the people excusing this are real? As if the world hasn't got enough problems with perverted disgusting porno creeps, they now seem to have an army of dumb cheerleaders actually castigating the female victim for being too uncool/insecure/snoopy on here these days?

Original poster
jellycatlover · 13/02/2025 16:51

ByRealSheep · 13/02/2025 16:02

Totally aside from the consent issue - which is huge - I’d feel offended, hurt, demeaned and deflated by my partner doing that.

He has nude photos of me but would rather stick my head on someone (a model) else’s body and look at/do wherever over that.

I don’t think there is a person on this planet who wouldn’t feel deflated and low about that,

Show quote history

My first instinct was one of feeling hurt and like my own body isn't good enough. He put it in a way that it was harmless and just a bit of fun, and I shouldn't be worrying, that he treats me great in every way and is a loving and supporting partner (which he is) So for a while I was feeling like I was just overacting. Then i keep thinking about it, and my gut actually feels like it isn't ok and I just feel massively hurt, and my initial doubts about it being other women also are still there.

OP posts:
ERthree · 13/02/2025 16:57

This is the first time i have heard of this happening and it makes me sick to my stomach thinking this will be common place soon, sad pathetic men violating their female loved ones. What a future we have in store.

Mimilamore · 13/02/2025 17:19

Bit creepy to me.... I knew somebody who used to cut the heads off the photos of older ladies and stick them on naked pictures of younger woman.... put me right off 😬

nodramaplz · 13/02/2025 17:19

@SheridansPortSalut
I mean does any body really fully 100% trust any body.
If you do you're a fool.
Humans are humans! End of.
I trust my husband 96% maybe even 98% & he's a goodun!
I never fully trust any one.

Calliecarpa · 13/02/2025 17:40

ByRealSheep · 13/02/2025 15:38

And I also know that it's really wrong to check up on him like this.

People often do that when their spidery senses are pinging. And they’re often correct.

Many people have been saved from all sorts due to a bit of snooping. They’d never have known crucial things otherwise.

The the anti snoop brigade on here is almost hilarious - I sometimes wonder if a poster reported they’d discovered their partner had killed someone, through snooping ; that they’d still be focusing on the snooping.

The anti snoop brigade are really weird, aren't they?

MN post: I was snooping on my husband's laptop and I found evidence that a giant meteor is going to destroy the Earth next month and everyone is going to die.

MNers: OH MY GOD!!!! You were snooping on your husband's laptop??!

OP, in all seriousness, I think you're absolutely right not to be OK with this, and ignore all the bonkers posts claiming that your partner's behaviour is normal and fine and your snooping is as least as bad. It really, really, really isn't! Personally, I'd feel violated, demeaned and distressed, and I'd think very very carefully whether I'd want to continue in a relationship with a man who did something like that.

ByRealSheep · 13/02/2025 17:47

jellycatlover · 13/02/2025 16:51

My first instinct was one of feeling hurt and like my own body isn't good enough. He put it in a way that it was harmless and just a bit of fun, and I shouldn't be worrying, that he treats me great in every way and is a loving and supporting partner (which he is) So for a while I was feeling like I was just overacting. Then i keep thinking about it, and my gut actually feels like it isn't ok and I just feel massively hurt, and my initial doubts about it being other women also are still there.

Show quote history

Just a bit of fun ….

fun for whom?

it’s not fun for you to have the images you gave him in trust, intimacy & playfulness edited to have a younger, more “perfect” body with your head. And it’s not fun for you to have images uploaded onto etc a site for which you don’t know the security etc.without your consent.

So fun for him, I guess.

And it’s ok cause you wouldn’t know, I suppose he’ll argue.
Well, you not knowing doesn’t make it ok on either front. It makes it worse.

Also those images are on his phone/a drive etc so you could have come across them at any point, even if you hadn’t had a look.

If it was “fun” he could’ve shared them with you, but he didn’t. He only showed them when you found out he’d been on the site and he was trying to prove he wasn’t doing stuff with other women’s images.

I’d also reiterate that he wouldn’t think it was fun, harmless and just a laugh if you’d edited his clothed photos to be his head on a younger, much more toned body with a bigger dick …. and kept them on your phone but didn’t show him. Even though you already have unclothed photos of him.

He’s, of course, very keen to portray this as light hearted, harmless and silly; I seriously doubt most people would feel that way if they were on the receiving end of this though. He’s just trying to gas light you and get it swept under the carpet.

Whose house are you all living in incidentally?