I (27) have been 'official' with my boyfriend (31) for 3 months. Prior to this, we dated for 6 months. I live at home and pay rent. He has his own house (about 30 min drive away). I spent the weekends there (friday - sunday). We don't see each other during the week very often as I have a busy job which I work until 7pm most evenings and he lives 30 mins away and I often need to be in a place nearer me early in the morning (I work in schools).
We have always split everything 50/50. I paid for us to have a night away together a few months ago, we still split the meal we had in the evening / next day, etc. I often buy him random nice things for the house every so often (lovely diffusers, candles, etc). Every time we do a food shop together (for the weekend etc) I pay half. I often pay for us to have coffee together (I always pay for the both of us) as I am mindful I spend a lot of time there.
Recently, I feel he is snappy and possibly resentful of me. Over Xmas, I offered to pay him some money as I essentially lived there for 12 days (I did my own food shop, etc) and he said don't worry just 'buy more food for us'.
On the weekend, I asked what was wrong as it's clear he feels I don't pull my weight (had made a few comments over the weekend). He noted that he feels i am not 'proactive enough' and that he wants me to take more of the lead which includes doing the food shops prior to going to his house, for us. This was the day after I had gone out with a friend, asked him if he wanted anything from M&S and bought everything he wanted, for his dinner (not mine!).
I fear he may be stingy. We have a Valentines meal booked and he has already said 'we'll split that'. He has also insinuated that I buy a chest of drawers for his house. I take everything back home with me after every weekend as he has no storage at all, this is getting a bit draining and difficult and I'm basically living out of my car which is not manageable.
My issue / thoughts here is that I pay rent at home, spend a lot of money on petrol going back and forth (I don't mind!) and often treat us / buy him nice things. He has never once paid for anything for us as a pair, nor ever treated me to anything (even the smallest of things).
AMIBU here? Should I be more 'proactive' or forthcoming? I am doing my best in all honesty and sometimes I perhaps don't take the lead as I feel like a guest in his house and don't want to piss him off (he likes things a certain way, etc).
Thoughts please!!!!!