Is this what negging is?

[Intomy30s]

I've been seeing a man for a few months and he made a couple of comments on Thursday which have made me raise an eyebrow and feel like 'why would you even say that'

I went to meet him after I'd been to the gym and had on my new pair of trainers. He said "what did they cost, about a score?"

I had no idea what a score was, not being a londoner, so he clarifies "£20. I thought you might have got them off Temu or something"

They are from a quality brand and cost substantially more than that. He was basically saying they look like cheap tat, right?

Later on the same day he mentioned his brother in law seeing us out together. Apparently his BIL, who seems like an idiot himself, was going on about how pale I am and asking 'doesn't she even wear any foundation'

(I do - it matches my skin colour, as its supposed to!)

Why would he feel the need to tell me that? I wouldn't dream of relaying third party criticisms about his appearance back to him.

Does this sound like negging to you?

Do let us know how the dumping goes!

I would honestly be tempted to tell him it's over because he really deserves someone who has a better taste in trainers and wears more makeup than you, and you've simply realised he could do so much better! 😆

LTB. It's only going to get worse.

He sounds a bit thick anyway.

I think you need to dump him negging style.
Hi Bellend. I dont think going forward I can be with someone who mistakes expensive trainers for £20 and I worry overtime your conversational ability will lack intellect.
All the best

Think he'd like to mould you into being more of a trophy for him.
Don't be.

@Intomy30s I'm a Londoner and had no idea what a ''score'' was, either.

He sounds a twit.

Into the bin with him! 🗑️

Good for you for getting rid of him.
MN is always good for a sense check 😁
The Polish comment puzzled me. What does looking Polish mean?
That comment in itself would make me worry about his level of intellect.
I know quite a few Polish women, inc my lovely NDN.
They all look different to each other, just like any other nationality, blonde, brunette, tall, not so tall, thin, not so thin etc.
One thing they do have in common is that they're all lovely women😍
It's nice to read a post where the woman spots a wrong 'un and knows her worth enough to dump him ❤️ good on you.

Negging is nagging.

He thinks you looked 'Polish?''

What on earth are Polish people supposed to look like?

There are {Or were} quite a lot of Polish people locally here a few years ago before Brexit- I wouldn't have known unless they spoke to me.

We were supposed to be going for lunch tomorrow. I'm going to send him a message now saying I can't make it. I laughed out loud at the thought of telling him I couldn't be with somebody who mistakes expensive trainers for £20. MN is fabulous 😂

Later on the same day he mentioned his brother in law seeing us out together. Apparently his BIL, who seems like an idiot himself, was going on about how pale I am and asking 'doesn't she even wear any foundation'

He made a snidey comment about your trainers. Anyone who demands to know the price of something is very unclassy.

then he adds to his repertoire by repeating a snidey comment made by his BIL. Why do that??

lets face it, he's deeply unpleasant and you'd do well to get shot of him. ASAP

I agree with the PP who said she hopes he cries when you finish it 😂😂

I definitely think you should do a bit of negging when ending it. Something like 'I was talking to my SIL and she thought you looked like a dick and unfortunately I can't be seen with a dick, so... cheerio'

Tell him your friend said she thought he looked like a stupid arse so sadly you have to let him go.

He has poor self-esteem so he is trying to bring you down in order to make himself feel better. Get rid.

They sound like rude bullies, you've only been with him a few months and him and bro in law already talk to you like this...? Get out now unless you want to be the butt of constant "jokes", putdowns and rudeness in the future.

Yes it does sound like negging. Which is also a form of emotional abuse.

These type of blokes would be slagging a woman who wears obvious makeup too.

It's not even negging, it's amateur negging! He's not even good enough at it to be subtle!

He’s being a cunt to your face. Why stand for it? He will get worse and wear you down.

I wouldn’t see him again.

Looks like you dodged a bullet. Good luck with the dumping.

I've just come out of a relationship with a man like this. He portrayed confidence but beyond the surface he was very insecure.

It was almost as if it pained him to give me a compliment, whether it was about something I'd achieved or the way I looked.

I love getting dressed up, fashion, nice home etc... it's my thing. I don't judge people who choose to spend their time and money on other things but he would make comments about how I "wasted" my money and how he was more interested in buying quality over quantity or investing his money in stocks and shares. (For what it's worth I own my own home and have savings and have never complained to him about having money!)

Another example would be that he wouldn't even notice if I had had my haircut (or pretend not to) but expect me to fawn over him if he did.

He also very kindly once rated me a 7/10 for the way I looked. Maybe I am a 7 in his eyes... but nevertheless, a strange thing to say.

He was often trying to humble me and whilst me confidence was what attracted him to me initially, it seemed to be the thing he hated by the end and he was chipping away at it greatly.

Get out now xx

Sounds tedious to me. Glad you've decided to dump. You want someone generous in spirit, not who tries to bring you down with this little chip chip of remarks. We used to have that at school 'are your trainers from Netto?'. FFS.

Sounds like a chav to me. Does he wear cheap clothes and speak with a strong local accent?

Let us know when you have dumped his ass .
Tell him you bought the expensive trainers so you could run as far away from him as possible and that it’s exactly what you are doing !
Call Him out for being a dick!

Tell him you know you are gorgeous and he will always be ugly inside and out. It’s about time these men got a taste of their own Medicine

Classic negging. My god, what a total prick. Well done for seeing this shit for what it is.

Ergh this reminds me of hearing 6th form boys talking about how they go after 14/15 years old "neg"them and they were more likely to have sex with them.

It's abusive, manipulating and controlling. It often gets given the excuse of banter or can't you take a joke.

Good for you op you deserve SO much better.