His bathroom was so disgusting, I can't believe he didn't clean it before either came round

[Disgustingbathroom]

I've been seeing this guy for a month, he seemed pretty sorted, good job, intelligent etc. BUT went round to his house last night for the first time and I was shocked at the state of his bathroom, he was off yesterday and knew I was coming round a few days in advance so he easily could have cleaned it. I don't want to go into detail as it's disgusting, but hair all over the floor, and the toilet was awful.
I feel a bit sick thinking about it and I didn't even want to go in there to use the toilet.
WTAF?
How could he go into his bathroom and think it was ok to let a potential date go into that, wasn't he embarrassed, obviously not!
He wants to meet again but it's kind of put me off and I definitely would dread using that bathroom again.
Would this put anyone else off?

Grim. Maybe he’s the learned helplessness type who’d happily see a woman cleaning up after him because he knows deep down no one wants to live with a shitty toilet.

That's gross. He definitely should've cleaned his bathroom. That's just unacceptable.

This is my new favourite saying, giving me the wibble🤣

Yes. Absolutely. Had this with my ex. Wouldn’t say it was disgusting but wasn’t sparkling clean.
After a few times he came to mine and he would find the flat sparkling clean, I think he liked it and actually one day he just cleaned his inside out. One day I walked in and was sparkling clean 😄.

Simple - he only wants to be with a woman who will put up with his filth (and maybe clean it up for him) so it would be counterproductive for him to make an effort.

Drop asap. No excuses whatsoever

Gross.

I'd tell him that he's disgusting for thinking that's an acceptable way to keep a toilet for himself, let alone guests. I'd also tell him he's clearly just looking for someone to clean up after him as any responsible grown up would know they have to clean up after themselves.

This isn't a matter of 'can't', it's a matter of choosing not to. Don't forget that.

This.
I would explicitly tell him how disgusting AND disrespectful that is. He clearly didn't feel the need to make any effort for you and this is at the START of the potential relationship? No thanks.

I keep a clean bathroom but nevertheless clean like a maniac on the off chance a tradesman or visitor MIGHT want to use the toilet during even a brief visit. Let alone someone I'm trying to impress.

Not necessarily. If you live in a hard water area calcium can build up quickly on bathroom ceramics especially if they are old. Mineral deposits from pee can also build up. When we first moved into this house, the bathroom and downstairs loo were both stained a darkish brown. It wasn't dirt but a build up of mineral deposits. Took a lot of elbow grease and scale remover to clean, and in some areas chip it off, but it came off eventually.

Did you get a look at the kitchen??

And this is the 'trying to impress you stage'

Just imagine a year down the line.

Not only would I dump, but I would be really clear about why - seriously - these men need a fucking kick up the arse.

A longtime ago the same thing happened to me 🤮

It completely put me off him and I never saw him again.

It’s precisely why I teach my DS’s to clean up after themselves.

Absolutely no way I would go round again. He has no respect for himself so can't have any for you.

Well you've just had a glimpse of what he would be like to live with.

Yes. It shows quite a difference in character between you, your lifestyle and how you treat other people, and I suspect there's more differenced you haven't discovered yet.

If you would like a longterm partner, then you should know that this is the very very best you can expect of him. This is the absolute maximum effort he will ever put in. It wouldn't surprise me if he'll develop into the type of man who won't wash or clean his teeth for days, and you sort of wonder how they ever managed to attract a partner in the first place.

Maybe do this and give him ONE chance, if he is otherwise ok?

If his toilet is like that just imagine what his hairy bum crack will be like.

If the stains in the loo looked like the stains in a tannin-stained teacup, it probably would actually been water stains from the cistern, to be fair.

@Gwenhwyfar even if that was the case she should wash her hands as she touched the lock and handle which the person before would have touched with dirty hands. That's how germs spread

Scary to think there are any women that would still consider sex with him. Yuk.

I really wish I could unsee his bathroom , I would never have associated him with that bathroom , that's why I was so shocked

If the relationship continues you will no doubt be the one expected to clean that bathroom. 🤢

I wasn't at all conscientious about cleaning when I lived on my own, but my god, I'd certainly have bloody cleaned the bathroom if I'd invited someone over! Especially someone I was dating. Making sure the loo's clean is the bare minimum, surely? So yes, I'd be put off by this. I wouldn't really care about things like sparkling taps and polished mirrors but jeez, clean the bloody khazi.

Dump him.

If things get serious and you end up living together he’ll be a dirty, disgusting pig who refuses to clean up and you’ll have to do it.

BOAK

Sack him off OP, but I agree with others to be honest about why. Absolutely no need to pussyfoot around him just so the next poor Woman he dates can have the same experience.

My DH doesn't have quite the same eye for what needs a clean as I do (doesn't seem to see dust on skirting boards etc) but even he can spot a skidmark and a shower tray full of pubes and sort them out. On the odd occasion he does leave obvious toothpaste or beard trimmings in the sink I've absolutely no shame in marching him back in to point it out.