Husband just admitted he cheated 6 years ago

[Brokenmum45]

Hi. So my husband just confessed to me that 6 years ago on a drunken stag weekend he kissed another girl and they rubbed themselves against each other lower half no underwear on but he said he can’t fully remember the details but they didn’t have sex. He said he suddenly realised what he was doing and bolted. I was 38 weeks pregnant at home with my other 2 kids. He told me out of the blue as I had some health issues and he suddenly thought they might be connected. They are not connected. I don’t know what to do. My husband has always been the good reliable one in the group 😔

You don't have the full story here for sure. What kind of club was he in where they didn't notice (and throw out) two people apparently naked from the waist down rubbing against each other?! Tell him to pull the other one. Next he'll be trying to persuade you that you picked up something from sitting on a toilet seat.

I was wondering that! Or did he go home with her?

Unfortunately - unless you married as virgins -
the test may or may not give you an answer - as some STIs can lay dormant for years - HPV, herpes, etc.

Whatever you (and/or him) may or may not have - could have come from any of your previous relationships. Or recent cheating.

Your doctor will explain it all.

But if it makes your decision easier - why not.

Sorry - this is not to say you need to forgive him. More to give you facts.

He is lying, Op.

what he has said is preposterous nonsense.

he’s cheated recently
and won’t admit it
so has made up some cock and bull, pretending it was 6 years ago

It was a nightclub set over 3 floors. He’s into rock backs and went to that section himself then fell in with the German ones (stag do was in Germany) got full on wasted and proceeded to do what he did. I’m presuming he took his out through his fly on jeans and she had a dress or skirt on. But he can’t remember!

He's lying through his teeth, OP. I'm really sorry.

Something dont add up does it.
It all happened 6 years ago but now wants to get tested really.

I wouldn't even be entertaining this nonsense OP or thinking anymore about his daft story.
It's a recent thing he's contracted. His story from 6 years ago is purely fiction.

I think you might be wise to ask him to unlock and hand over his phone. Without time to go delete shit.

I wouldn't forgive that either. He cheated and had full sex, he's treating you like a fool if he expects you to believe that he didn't.

Does he have a reason why he hasn’t got himself tested in 6 years if he thought it was a possibility that his ‘rubbing’ could have resulted in a STI? Do you remember any suspicions after the stag in question? Was he behaving strangely? To be able to come back home, look you in the face and be completely normal is frightening.

He went for an sti test last night? 6 yesrs later? And they didnt sleep together?

I wouldnt believe that at all and i wouldnt believe it was 6 years ago when he cheated either.

If it was 6 years ago why is it getting sti checks now?

I'm sorry OP but I would say he is definitely lying. He is having/had sex with another woman more recently than that and trying to cover his tracks.

Just be blunt. Sit him down and tell him to tell you the truth.

Claims he blocked it from his mind and he can’t remember what happened but felt ashamed and because I was 38 weeks pregnant didn’t want to upset me. He acted completely normal and has done since but because of my abnormal bleeding last period he stated thinking about it all again. I feel like fool.

I remember when the GP said I potentially had pelvic inflammatory disease which is typically caused by untreated STIs.

Ex was beside himself when I told him. In tears, begging me to believe that he never cheated. Said that he potentially could've caught chlamydia via contact sport. I tested negative and so I believed him but thought his reaction was weird.

We stayed together for 7 years. I left because I found out that he'd been downloading dating apps in the time that we were together.

Your husband is a liar. They are all liars. In the words of Samantha from SATC - 'when men talk about 'we', they're talking about themselves and their dick'

He’s obviously talking crap.

I have been so drunk I could barely see. I still managed not to rub my bare genitalia up against a strange man’s penis.

You can’t trust him so there is no relationship. So sorry.

Why would he get tested if they hadn't had full sex?

"Your husband is a liar. They are all liars. In the words of Samantha from SATC - 'when men talk about 'we', they're talking about themselves and their dick"

Ain't that the truth! OP, he's shagged someone recently. Can you get hold of his phone before he deletes any evidence?

Yes. My first thought from reading your post was that the only reason he's admitted is now is this was one of the many times he's cheated - including much more recently - and he thinks it's the one he can get away with, while also prompting you to get checked in case he's given you something.

rubbing bollocks...who is going to rub penis and vagina and not go in

I would think OP if he has said this was six years ago and he is only going to get an STI count now he is lying on at least 2 fronts. One, he obviously had unprotected sex, two, it was more recent than six years. Or, more likely, it’s a fairly frequent occurrence for him to sleep unprotected with other women. I cannot see how there is any logic otherwise. He will lie and keep lying, so you have to make some decisions here about what your line in the sand is.

OP, I understand you must be feeling traumatised having received this information. Hopefully he is telling the truth & there was no sex. If the tests are negative & you know him to be a reliable husband who treats you well would his admission of a drunken fondle 6 years ago be the end of your marriage? Only you know what he is like in general as a husband & father. Whatever you decide to do I hope it's for the best for all concerned,including your children.

Hope she's not going to show up on your doorstep with a 5 year old.

He’s lying.

He thinks he’s given you an STD, that much is true.

The how / why / when sounds like a load of bollocks.