Regret bringing my husband to the UK. How can I make him leave?

[maddiejo]

I brought my husband over to the UK on a spouse visa (anyone who knows the process would know how expensive and stressful this can be).
He's from a non-European country (don't want to be too outing) and we meet whilst I was on a trip there a few years ago.
Fast forward to now.. He's been in the UK for just over a year and we have a young baby. Since the baby was born, I've noticed some serious and worrying changes in my husband... He's become really abusive verbally and mentally. Not physical (although has threatened me with it). He stays out all night with his phone switched off, gets snappy when I ask where he's going, and is getting more and more nasty about me. Keeps criticising everything about me from my pregnancy weight gain to my cooking. I've know for a few months that I want him gone (as in sent back to his home country) because of the way he treats me. The only thing holding me back is that he say if I leave him, then he would take our baby back to his own country with him.
I've spoken to the police about the situation (they're aware of my wish to leave and have put some kind of alert marker on our home address incase of any 999 calls). I asked them not to make him aware that I had approached them for advice or to voice my worries.
Anyone here ever left such a situation safely?

Womens aid
police
solicitor

What a bizarre thing to say. That's completely untrue:

Ethnic breakdown of the UK prison population:

White: 71.8%
Black or Black British: 12.1%
Asian or Asian British: 8.0%
Mixed: 4.8%
Other ethnic groups: 1%
The ethnic breakdown of the prison population has remained stable over the past five years. However, the ethnic breakdown varies by age group:

Under 18: 53% of prisoners are from minority ethnic groups
50 or over: 85% of prisoners are White
Black and Mixed ethnicity prisoners are also disproportionately represented in younger age groups. For example, Black offenders make up 32% of the prison population for under-18-year olds, despite accounting for only 13% of the whole prison population

https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/hmpps-offender-equalities-annual-report-2022-to-2023/hmpps-offender-equalities-annual-report-2022-23#:~:text=Proportionally%20males%20make%20up%2096,(78%2C802%20to%2081%2C057%20prisoners).
Since 4% of the prison population are female (and that number has been stable for years) your 99.9% white male figure was always just a rhetorical exaggeration for reasons of your own.

Have you taken this to mean that people without visas aren’t routinely removed from the UK? Because they are. That’s not what LondonLawyer was saying. Being administratively removed from the UK and being deported are two different things.

You need to speak to specialist solicitor. There are steps you can take to prevent a child being taken out of the country. Be aware that he may be able to apply for a passport for your child from his own country if the child’s birth has also been registered at his consulate.

Does everything the op has posted suggest that this is a reasonable man who’s likely to agree to an amicable split? Particularly when it could have an impact on his right to remain in the UK?

I’m also mindful, from my own experience of an emotional abusive controlling ex, that it is not always in a child’s best interests to be exposed to ongoing aggression in their own home. For me, a child’s right to feel safe trumps the paternal rights of a man who’s demonstrated that he has no respect for his family.

‘The cat was just a throwaway remark by the judge when considering many family issues - but seized upon by the fascists.’

🙀🙀🙀✊👊😿

What has ethnicity got to do with any of this discussion? Also just because someone isn't white doesn't make them not British?? This discussion is about a non British man (ethnicity not disclosed) who has a visa through his wife.

Wtf does the skin colour of the prison population have anything to do with this??

Some people have seriously derailed down some racist seeming rabbit holes here...

OP, I went through this.

It's all bullshit, he won't even have money to get himself home.

Get in touch with WOMENS AID, they can signpost you to where you need to deal with this.

Make sure you and your baby are safe.

Sorry you are going through this. No fear, mine's 33 now and we are still in touch with family.
Muslims and Christians.

I don't do religion. Nor does my son.

Most of the replies focus on precautions you can take with the baby’s British passport. It’s very likely that the baby could obtain a passport from the father’s home country—possibly without mother’s knowledge. You have to make sure he doesn’t do that behind your back, OP. I don’t know if there’s a foolproof way to do that—I assume he’d need the birth certificate. Can you hide that?

Also he will need to renew the visa, and I would think ythis will be dependent on his continuing marriage to the op.

Speak to an Immigration lawyer ASAP, depending on where is his visa at, it may be cancelled. Please get help, women's aid and family. Good luck.

His child is here, it would be inhumane to deport him.

In this case, the guy has not been guilty of any crime as far as I can tell.

I have no particular problem with deporting people who have committed serious crimes, however. A child should not serve as a sort of permanent visa for people.

@GreenTeaLikesMe Parent of a British child is visa route:

www.gov.uk/uk-family-visa/parent